A Not So Great Time at Chili's

So, good for you! You had a pity party..... Everyone of us is entitled to that pity party once. Now that you've had it, you can move on.

It sucks that we are not normal. I'm wrapping my head around the fact that what I thought WAS normal, has really been my skewed view of what I BELIEVED normal was - being able to eat anything without gaining weight.

Well, crap-ola! It ain't so. I have come to find out that all of my "skinny" friends work equally as hard at staying thin. They just got really good a long time ago at LIVING MODERATION and denying themselves their high calorie favorites on a daily basis. They don't eat cookies everyday - maybe once a week.

I am sorry you had such a hard time, but I promise you it will get better. The more you live your new life the easier it will become.

I find going to places that have family style dining (chinese, thai, some italian places) and places that have a lot of protein choices (real BBQ places) work really well for me. With Chinese or Thai you can have a taste of everything. At the BBQ places you can live off a plate for days and days! I love not having to think about my lunch!

You will be fine. Sleep well and start tomorrow with a fresh new attitude! You'll do great!

 Thanks all.  I appreciate the supportive words.  It really does help.  I can always count on you guys to make things better and that is awesome.

I figured many of you would understand the mental trials we have to go through during this process.  It would be nice to just be like a machine without any feelings and just do it without any thought or feeling.  But I am only human after all.  If i knew how to deal with food appropriately, I wouldn't have needed the surgery to begin with.

Thanks for the help.

Please don't think of as what you can't have but what you will gain in the end. I too look forward to the day that I will be able to eat smaller portions and be satified. I hope one day soon I can find someone that can see past this outside shell and be happy with just being together. I am sending good wishes to you my friend.

Here's a parable of sorts. 6 years ago I lived Riverside County in Southern California.  New houses were going up so fast, developments seemed to spring up literally overnight.  People my husband I worked with  with were buying $500K houses with zero down, adjustable rate mortgages, with household incomes  of only $100-$110K a year. They also had H2's parked in the driveway, and pontoon boats to take up to the lake.  We had purchased a large, 5 acre, property with a modest home for much less than that several years earlier.  Our plan was to replace the house, at some point, after we had saved up enough to ensure the mortgage would be manageable on one salary.

One day  my husband was complaining about our 1980's vintage doublewide (which was actually very nice with hardwood floors, etc., it was just a pain to do anything to it because nothing is standard size) and the fact I wanted to wait to fully enclose our barn.  He mumbled something about being the only Jew in America living in a trailer.  We started to get into it when he asked in a fairly sarcastic tone,

"Why is it ___ and ___ can afford  a $500K mortgage yet you say we cant? We make way more than they do." 

I just looked at him and said, "They can't afford it anymore than we can.  People make stupid financial decisions every day.  That doesn't mean we need to follow suit. Be greatful we have a wonderful home we can afford no matter what."

Riverside County was one of the hardest hit areas in the country during the collapse of the housing market for precisely that reason.  This is just a fairly long winded way to make my point which is you can't live your life comparing yourself to other people. The perfect family, the happy couple, the beautiful  homecould all be a sham. 

Envy is a dangerous, tricky, and self-indulgent ***** who will suck you dry if you let her. Call it good kharma, but we sold that place just as the market was starting to turn and made a massive profit we rolled into the purchase of my house in FL.   
 

 I hear what your saying and appreciate the story.  It's wonderful it worked out for you.  I bought my house in early 2006 at the height of the real estate boom and my house has done nothing but go down in value ever since.  It's a real shame.  I didn't want to be here forever, just thought of it as a starter home.  The guy I bought it from made $100,000 on the deal, I figured that would be me 10 years from now.  Not looking that way anymore.  I knew nothing about real estate.  I thought it always went up in value not down.

I do realize that I shouldnt compare myself to others, its hard not too sometimes though.  Thanks for the reply.

My house in FL has lost 50% of it's value. It's not pretty, but we're not in a hole, either. 

The flip side to 'look at all the skinny people blues" will come in a few months when you can sing the "look at all the people who are fatter than I am" song.  A *****ildish, perhaps, but it will cheer you up :)

You're doing great.  Hang in there.

Similar to Sleevegirl, I'm still a foodie, love to be around food, talk about it, share things in restaurants, enjoy really well-made things, and love to cook great stuff.  I even get two food / cooking magazines. So I would have enjoyed those 2 ribs quite a lot, even if I couldn't eat the whole half-rack. (In fact tomorrow I'm going to Fleming's for dinner, a great steak house, and looking forward to it!) 

For me it's the sweets I pine for.  So here's where my head goes when I get into the "poor me's" - if I found out I only had a month to live, I'm going to eat cake three times a day. And cookies for dessert.  And I'm going to eat as much of this **** as I can possibly cram in.

I used to indulge the same fantasies about smoking when I quit, decades ago.  Now of course I wouldn't DREAM of taking up cigarettes ever, for any reason.  I'm hoping I'll reach the same place around sugar and flour products eventually.  And that it doesn't take decades, I don't have that much time left, haha!

I guess what I'm saying is, everyone goes there.  Feelings aren't facts, and wishes aren't reality - it's actions that count, and your choices were what counted.  I say, good job despite your head!

 I have to agree with you there are soooooooo many times that I have that pity party when I see others around me eating normally and I can't eat as fast as they can otherwise I end up with the foamies, or I can't take that extra bite because the food taste so good and yet others around me are saying Wow that was delicious I am stuffed and I am feeling full and afraid to take another bite. And drinking OMG I miss drinking with my food so much and my choice of drink has always been water and yet I can't enjoy it with my meal like I used to. So many new habits that I need to get used to and I am still unable to eat some foods without it getting my tummy upset.  Especially foods with sauces :( so I understand the fact that all others can what we have set ourselves up to thinking what is a normal portion or a normal way of eating are  enjoying that normal way of eating and I can no longer do so and yes even seeing those skinny lil girls eat like they were starving and I just look at their plate and I am already gaining a pound or worse feeling like vomiting! hahaha I usually tell my family well looks like I am going to be putting on my pity  party hat on AGAIN. I have to agree with you this is quite harder than one thinks and it is not to be taken lightly HOWEVER, I do enjoy being able to walk into a store to shop now instead of waiting for the UPS man to bring my clothes :)

THANKS FOR POSTING THIS AND GOD BLESS YOU AND THE BEST OF LUCK TO YOU

RAQUEL

 
Aight dude..... listen up.....

Normal......You just voiced what most of us have thought..... 

Your just not there yet........your going through the grueling part.....

You haven't got to the point where "Skinny feels better than food tastes"

You haven't got to the part where you wanna go out because your of normal weight and wearing normal size clothes and things are so much more enjoyable.

You haven't got to the point with food where quality is better than quantity.....

You haven't got to the point when your getting smaller and everyone else seems to be getting bigger.(sick revenge...I know)

Your brain has just not changed it up to your new normals yet.....takes about 6 months to a year.....

It will come.... you will see.....

Aight..... gotta go.....goin out......SSS than put on my 31" waist Levi's, tucked in Hugo Boss shirt, Timberland's.......and I'm thinking Rolex or Omega Seamaster Titanium........

Yah see..... That means more to me than the 3oz. of food I'm gonna eat.....and I enjoy good food more now than ever.......

frisco

 Your one cool cat Frisco.  Thanks for the reply.