it's more than the weight... ;(

Look.  You're a cute kid, you got some stuff going for you, but relationships have to be kind of .... zen.

You might be saying "I'm ready for a relationship now" but that's just half of it.  There's got to be a relationship (not just man) ready for you - so when I say relationship, I mean the opportunity.  Each time you meet a single gay guy, there's a small chance of odds that there'll be a spark - and even smaller chance that spark will survive past one of two dates.  This is pretty normal.  Point is, you can't plan or rush relationships - if you do, you compromise, at best, and set yourself up for failure at worse.  You just have to be chill that it'll happen when it happens. 

If you're in a small-town place, get out!  It can just be too tough for us gays to find people in small and secluded enviroments.  And like others said, bars may not be the best place - especially for gay men looking for relationships (as opposed to one-nighters).  Your mileage may vary.  

I met my fiance on OKcupid - we lived in neighboring towns, five or ten miles apart, but never would have bumped into each other naturally.  Sites like that are good.   Bars... eh.

Also, I'm going to challenge you on an expectation here - you mention "I finally look good enough to get the guy I want" - careful with letting yourself think like this - it's dangerous, and it focuses on outward appearances.  Actually, makes me a bit sad to hear you say that.  Don't get me wrong - when I was double my body weight, I didn't feel like Mr. Sexy Stud at all right - but I was still in loving relationships because I was able to find men who looked through my weight into me.  Sure, I was a fat ******* but I still offered a lot - dedication, love, passion, financial stability, mental stability, intelligence, humor - and I just keep meeting guys until I found one that agreed with me and didn't have an issue with my weight.

I don't know about your experiences, but most gay guys I've been with focused on outer appearances have been pretty shallow and self-centered.  My fiance has been with me - literally - through fat and thin.  He doesn't care about my max or min weight as long as I stay within health.  You shouldn't walk around thinking you "look good enough" to date some kind of guy.  You bring a LOT more to the bargaining table than just your waist size, bud.  Remember that.  Don't let this bar culture and body-centric culture drive how you look for men.  Look for quality.  Guys that respect themselves, and respect you and more than just your body.  Men that show love and understanding and compassion.

Finally, dating is going to be a little tougher for you now in the next months of your life since you've undergone such a rapid, fast change in the last year - in some sense, you're also still finding out who the new you is too.  So just enjoy this time with yourself.  Flirt, have fun, and think about what you really want.  Savor.  It's like - you used to buy food in a grocery store that sold a single box of cereal.  Now your grocery store has 100 boxes of cereal.  Don't just buy the first box - shop around, look at the flavors and the ingredients and pick that quality one after you take a bit of time to decide.  No reason to rush.

Also, you know we have a GLBT forum too?

There's my unsolicated advice, one gay to another.  Good luck bud.

 Getting involved in the LGBT community will definitely help! There are often different kinds of events like socials, BBQs, community work....stuff like that. Gay or straight, meeting the right person is as much about you as it is about them. Love. Yourself, worship yourself, you are king! :)

Good luck sweets!!!! :)

I agree with the previous poster about the correlation with AA - No new relationships for a year.  The changes we go through with weight loss are not just physical, they are emotional as well.  Just like it takes us time to come to grips with our new bodies, all the new things we can do, and new feelings it also takes us time to come to grips with the new us on the inside.  In addition to building a new external image, we have built a new self image - and it takes a little longer to complete.

I think thats why some find the "finally look good enough" line very concerning.  That self image deficit can be especially hard for gay men.  Like women in America, we are constantly assualted by images of male perfection; from fitness ads to underwear box covers, to every actor on TV.  We start to feel that if we don't have a 32 inch waist, a six pack, and 9 inches that no man could possibly love us or want us.

Early on some of my friends warned me to not go through the "****ty phase" when I get to my goal.  Not that my husband would let me, LOL.  I think when we get to goal its like coming out again.  This time instead of coming out as a gay man, we are coming out as the person we always felt like we were all along.  We've chiseled ourselves out of a block of fat, now watch out world here we come.  I have seen other younger guys who los alot of weight do the same thing.  The problem is they always go for the guys they always fantasized about before losing.  The guys who never would have given them the time of day before.  You know the guy, tight jeans, bubble butt, arms for days.  They'd even start a relationship that would always end - badly.   Their main problem is that they were trying too hard.  They would go for a man they really felt no connection with just because they so desperately wanted to be loved by that type of man.

True love, I think, is like Chickenpox.  Sometimes it takes multiple exposures to develop, you never catch it when you want to, and when it hits it hits hard.  Getting involved the community is a great thing to do.  You obvously have a lot to share.  Take the pressure off of yourself and just enjoy your new lifestyle.  Make friends, develop a cmmunity around you, and love will appear when you are ready for it.  

Most of all take care of yourself emotionally and physically.

Who are you?

What makes you you?

Do you love to travel?  Do you love the outdoors, fishing, hiking, cycling, climbing?

Are you a museum, books, movies kind of guy?

Do you have a fantasy to cosplay Harry Potter (or Lord Voldemort)? 

What is FUN to you?  Anything you haven't been doing in the past because of weight or image that you're ready to try now?

You have this huge wide world of opportunities and you are young and healthy and ready to take it on.

Go out there and find who you are, BE you, discover the sheer euphoria of what your new life can be.

Don't wait for somebody else to give you permission or go with you. Go it alone, make it happen, and believe me, others will show up. 

 My biggest advise to you is.... (and no, I'm not going to say it comes when you least expect it,b/c I HATED when everyone told me that crap)  The biggest turn off to a single man is if you ACT like your ready to settle into a relationship right off the bat.   I know its SUPER hard to play it cool, but if you're over anxious to get things started, they usually run furthur and faster than Forrest Gump!  I know this from experience.  Everyone could see it but me.  "you keep running them off"  and I'm thinking,,, how?  I"m so nice, eager to please, everything they could want in a woman.  But I just wanted Mr. Right  NOW.   If I could have slowed myself down, I prolly woulda settled down years ago.  Thankfully I found mr. perfect for me and have been married over 2 years now (even at my heaviest weight)  Revising from band to sleeve next month and am thrilled.  Good luck to you and don't forget how wonderful you are on your own.  Love yourself more than anyone else.  Thats important *and very hard* to remember.  

I am of the philosophy that you can meet someone good anywhere. So now that I am thinner and more comfortable with my body I look around at the grocery store and library and even the elevator and make small talk. I also just continue doing things that I love to do and hopefully will meet like minded people - like joining a hiking group or book club, etc. Of course it makes sense to see what kind of guys you usually go for and see if a problem lies there. Do some more volunteer work - not necessarily only within the gay community as a set up is always an option. Good luck. Don't settle.