Fallen off the "wagon"...

Oh!  I never bought cat food so I haven't related them to that.  I guess I am just desperate for food that I can eat that I can take on the go. 
Hey - does cat food have many carbs- protein????   They come in little cans.   LOL

I like Elina's reply.
First things first. You have to wrap your head around a plan.

You can do this.
I have gone back to liquids for a couple days to shrink my sleeve again then I start the dense proteins and keep the calories low. That usually puts me back where I can grab the reins again.
You can do this.

donna

I am a compulsive/binge eater. Have been and will always have to deal with those tendencies.

However, here is what I have learned. I cannot stop myself from eating something once I start. The first bite is the end of any/all self control for me. I acknowledge that. Despite that - I have still managed to lose over 200 lbs because I set certain rules for me that help me and are unrelated to my compulsive/binge eating tendencies

- I DO NOT EVER keep junk food in my house - there are no chips/cookies/pizza/sodas/ice cream/carb based snacks in my house. If it's not part of my nutritious meal plans/snacks, it does not come in my house. Why? Because it's not there to tempt me and I cannot eat it. 

- 2nd part of that - I will not buy those items. I do not need them, I will not spend my money on them. (I always have some little meditiation practices and exercise before I go to the grocery store and I never go to the store if I feel like my self control is low)

- I do not go through drive throughs except a couple of times for chili but even now, Ive stopped that. There is nothing I need or my body needs from a drive through.

- I will admit - I eat my fair share of crap. However, it's never mine and its usually in limited quantities so when I go off the deep end and start eating it, i can't do that much damage and at some point, I can walk away from it. Its much easier to avoid eating it all together than to stop . So the key - dont start.

Some people say this attitude of all or nothing as it relates to certain food groups is a recipe for disaster - however, for myself and my eating disordered thoughts - it has to be my plan (and I say plan because I dont walk around life with the attitude that I will never eat it - I just try my best to avoid it under all cir****tances).

Plan ahead for meals. Don't get tempted to eat that stuff because you're hungry. Dont keep it around. Have alternatives. 

You can do this, but you have to work out a strategy.

Everybody's advice is absolutely spot on.  Thank you.  These hints and tips and words of encouragement are what I already had in my mind but I wanted to make myself accountable to other people who are in or have been in the same boat as me.  I think I may try to go back to liquids for a couple days.  It didn't hurt me when I had to do 4+ weeks of it and it won't hurt me for a couple days of it.  Just to get back in the swing of things.  But also the fact of not having the things in the house or not even going near it in the stores.  I can do this...  I know I can!

Now - that's the right attitude to have.  Best of luck to you getting back on track.

Allison,

So many good responses!!  These are the things that help me.  I will never be cured of my disordered and screwed up thinking around food.  Never, ever, ever.  I ate abstinently for 7 solid, continuous years (2,555 days), lost over 100 pounds and maintained it, then fell right back into a deep hole of compulsive overeating and gained it all back over the next 5 years.  Seven years of new habits, a new lifestyle, wasn't enough to save me from my refusal to see that I was not cured.

I have been imperfectly out of the sugar since 2004 (except for a slip a couple of years ago, which was very limited), but I swear, I could be in that place of wandering from store to store eating every sugary thing in sight if I thought I could handle it again.  So I am 100% behind Alison's advice to not start eating what you can't control.  Also, it might help -  if it makes sense to you - to think that maybe "you" don't want those chips.  Maybe you have an addictive reactive to simple carbs, and eating them makes you crave more, and maybe that "want" that you feel is a lot like the craving an alcoholic feels when he tries to give up drinking.  And that deprived feeling you have when you're not eating them is like withdrawal, not really deprivation.  This feels so true for me, and seeing it that way has helped me stop eating certain foods when I realize they're feeding the monkey, not me.

Some people think this attitude is depressing.  I find it comforting in a strange way.  People who have their **** together struggle and people who don't know what they're doing struggle and people who are wildly successful struggle.  Struggling is not the measure of our success or failure.  It is simply an indication that we are just like every other compulsive overeater on the planet.

Here's the other thing.  Falling off the wagon isn't a measure of failure either.  It's not getting back up off the ground, dusting our butts off and climbing *back* on the wagon.  Falling isn't the problem, staying on the ground is a BIG problem.  I'm not advocating a slip for the hell of it, but to the extent that perfection is not possible, we have got to learn how to do it imperfectly over the long haul.  Follow Elina's great advice.  Reach in, find your willingness to move forward, and get ONE GOOD DAY of clean eating under your belt.  The next day will be easier.

My "going nuclear" strategy for coming out of a big food hole is to commit my food to another human being - in advance - and agreeing to call them to discuss before I change it.  If you are desperate to have ONE GOOD DAY of clean eating and can't seem to put it together, call or PM someone and commit your food.  

Now, about your body size - work on your food and your body will follow.  Your body makes its own decisions about where and when to lose the weight, and while we can *influence* that with diet and exercise, we cannot *control* it.  I have realized that for me, this kind of frustration is worse than just wasted energy.  It is focusing energy on something I can't control, and allowing it to discourage me.  It can be a way my addictive brain (the monkey) tries to get me to eat - pointing out all the negative and telling me it's hopeless or I'll never look like I want to anyway so I might as well eat.  

I would consider trying to cultivate a certain attitude of acceptance about whatever the outcome is (what size your pants are, how fast you lose weight), and instead, see each day of clean eating as its own reward.  That can sound like lame advice, I know, but finding joy and happiness in following our food plans makes it easier to follow our food plans, and letting go of being invested in the outcome makes it easier to achieve what we want.

Sorry I went on and on.  Hugs!!