Co worker reaction to my weight loss

I agree, it is your business, but if there are some in your office with weight issues and they think you may have had WLS and are deliberately hiding that fact, they can be hurt.  I would be hurt if someone I worked with had WLS and was losing weight quickly, but deliberately kept it a secret.  I think it's unkind to not sure the truth of your weight loss.  Yes, you are doing high protein and low carb, but weight issues are very personal and can be very hurtful.  WLS is not the easy way out, BUT it is easier than losing weight without surgery OR none of us would ever have surgery.  It gives us a little help.  Just a thought.  You have probably hurt their feelings by not sharing your WLS - they see you losing and still you don't discuss how -- I think it can cause a lat of problems with relationships and co-workers.

I have a very good friend who has kept it a secret from her co-workers at the hospital.  Behind her back, they discuss it and they know she had surgery.  They are hurt by  her omission and it makes them feel as if she wants to be deceitful and wants everyone to think she has done it all on her own.  It has ruined her work relationships and has caused people to not trust her or care to be around her.

Consider it.

 I might be a bit confused and not reading this quite right but if you didn't tell anyone and you say you did not want to go into details, then why are you upset that no one has mentioned your weight loss?  Maybe they are doing that out of respect for you not wanting "to go into details?"  Again, I might be reading what your trying to communicate wrong, but it sounds like you dont want anyone to know what you did but you want people to praise you for it?

I personally don't have anything to hide and just about all 3,000+ people in my fire department know what I had done and they have been very supportive.  

 IMO the OP was just looking for sympathy, not a critical analysis or suggestions on how to change the situation.

 yeah I didnt read the other posters at first only the original message.  Seems like many other people thought about it the same way I was.

It is your decision to tell people or not and you should not be told to feel bad because you are keeping your personal medical information private. I'm sorry your coworkers are excluding you. You should be proud of your weightloss and they should be able to at least recognize the difference in you. I'm sure there is some jealousy and maybe they feel you should have told them. Oh well, just keep up the good work. Stay happy, it's just work. Real life starts once you leave there. I'm not going to tell people either before surgery because I don't need anyone's approval or comments. After surgery I'm sure I will talk about it but it is your decision. Good Luck!

I dont get the whole co-workers are hurt because the OP cut them out of her life thing...

A while back I had a co-worker who was pregnant & gave her baby up for adoption. WHen she delivered the baby, a memo went out saying we are not to discuss it, etc...

I think of the WLS in the same manner.... we dotn need to discuss it...if ya know, or think ya know someone did....and they obviously do not want to discuss it since they have never brought it up, why be a jerk and make them an outcast....

you can discreetly offer a word of encouragement without discussing the surgery....

Hey...Arent you the energizer bunny today...

I like your outfit...

Simple, non-descript comments...instead of totally ignoring the person...


Does it hurt people to be nice these days?

I know u said u disagree, so I may be wasting my breath (or keystrokes... lol), but...

As for not commenting on ur loss... Maybe u can look at it this way: U chose to exclude them from ur weight loss journey... and so they choose not to be a part of it now...

As far as excluding u in other things that's not nice, but perhaps they feel like ur not their friend (since u omitted/decieved (whatever u want to call it) them)... maybe they feel like u consider them "just" coworkers, whom u share ONLY work (not personal) transactions with... and now r treating u as such... again, not saying they're right or justified, but that may be their rationale to themselves...

I did tell ppl from the begining about my journey, but I believe to each his/her own... but then u have to deal with the consequences of ur actions, whatever they may be... but if u really are looking for answers and a solution to ur problem u should think about what the other posters said...

Maybe sit down with all ur coworkers at once or seperately, however u'll be more comfortable and talk to them, as the friends u want them to be... explain to them why u didn't feel comfortable sharing ur journey early on... discuss with them ur fear of failure, if that was the case or ur fear of them being judgemental... or if u felt the extra pressure from everyone watching u, waiting to see a change would be too much.... whatever ur reasons were for not telling them, share that with them... and explain to them that now ur more confident and want them to share the joys of ur success and be an encouragement to u!!!

Whatever u decide, Good luck to u

I also chose to not share this with my coworkers.  As a result there is very little talk about my weight loss, and I am just fine by that.  I did have a couple people ask if it was cancer, and I did acknowledge it was a high protein diet/exercise in an effort to deflect them thinking I was sicker than what I am.  In my humble opinion it is not an everyday topic for my coworkers because i chose to maintain privacy and they are  simply respecting that i really don't want to talk about it.  Perhaps they are not talking about it out of respect for you.

I also think some coworkers are occasionally talking about it without me present.  But I can't blame them.  I have lost over 100 pounds this year, and they have known me for a decade and that this totally is not normal for me.  i don't think when they chat about it they have malice in their heart, but rather very interested in trying to figure out what I am doing so that they an replicate on a much smaller scale (no pun intended).