9 month post op today w/pics
Well today is 9 months folks.It has been one helluva ride. I really expected to be at goal by now(oh the joys of being a perfectionist), but I'm not. I still feel very successful and I am actually quite proud of myself and my success thus far. I lived life to what I thought was my fullest before surgery. Only now can I truly see and feel what living is! I have lost 104 pounds to date. I just came off a long 3 week stall that was messing with my head. I made good choices and I rode it out and now the weight is coming off again! I was told by a Vet this month that "I've got this" so even after the stall I am feeling pretty good about me. I know how to eat, I think about why I eat, and other than those moments, I don't think about food at all!! I am so happy to be free of the food prison. My life revolves around living and not planning my next meal! That being said, some days the process of planning my food, protein intake, calorie balance, fluids is exhausting. I understand why sometimes you just need to step back and take a break from this. It is an amazing experience that I am grateful for every day, but it is so much work!! Don't ever let anyone tell you this is the easy way out. There is nothing easy about this!!
That brings me to my very first sad food moment. I haven't really mourned food and I haven't had many pity moments, but something did strike me the other day that caused me to pause and be a bit "sad" for a part of my past life. I fixed hot dogs the other day for my family with homemade chili. Yes, you can guess that i ate the lean meat chili and enjoyed every spoonful. I watched the rest of my family consuming the hot dogs(fresh bun-toasted, grilled weiner, smothered in chili and shredded cheese) and I felt a bit sad. That was one of my favorite foods and I cannot comfortably consume it that way anymore. Sure, I've had a weiner grilled and its okay. I eat lots of chili and its yumm-o too, but nothing really compares to the combination of all those things combined. It's obviously something I won't lose sleep over, but I did find it interesting that this far out it finally hit me that there is one(only one) thing I miss about a regular sized stomach. I'll take the shrinky dink version over the hot dog any day.
I am going on a cruise with my hubby and some very dear friends next week and I am stoked!! Instead of planning for food around the clock, my honey has already packed our walking shoes and underarmour for the track and the gym. He has already planned out all the outdoor activities we will do together and we are climbing Dunn's River Falls in Jamaica. He would never say it but I think he is really enjoying the fact that I can do so many more physical things. He never would have asked about doing that excursion before. He is one of my hero's and I love him!
I will be sure to post pics of vacay when I return, especially the pic in the white off the shoulder, floor length size 12 dress I will be wearing to dinner!! That was the day that it all was worth it...I tried on dresses for at least an hour and the hubs liked all of them, and then I walked out in THAT ONE!! His eyes widened and his jaw dropped and he exclaimed, "DAMN!" in the middle of Dillards. He is a quiet man, so I knew that was the one!!
Back to the here and now, I wouldn't trade where I am for anywhere else...even goal because every day I have learned a bit more about myself. Patience and acceptance have taken me a while and maybe that's why I'm not at goal yet...I still need to learn a bit more about me so I can handle being at my goal weight.
Pics to follow, of course. Love to all!! I hope I can inspire you as so many others have inspired me.
Today:
The "old" me(that thought no one knew how to use a camera because my pics always made me look fat!!)
Pic from Cruise last November:
Me and the Besties that are cruising this year(the hubs are coming too, they just weren't in this pic)
That brings me to my very first sad food moment. I haven't really mourned food and I haven't had many pity moments, but something did strike me the other day that caused me to pause and be a bit "sad" for a part of my past life. I fixed hot dogs the other day for my family with homemade chili. Yes, you can guess that i ate the lean meat chili and enjoyed every spoonful. I watched the rest of my family consuming the hot dogs(fresh bun-toasted, grilled weiner, smothered in chili and shredded cheese) and I felt a bit sad. That was one of my favorite foods and I cannot comfortably consume it that way anymore. Sure, I've had a weiner grilled and its okay. I eat lots of chili and its yumm-o too, but nothing really compares to the combination of all those things combined. It's obviously something I won't lose sleep over, but I did find it interesting that this far out it finally hit me that there is one(only one) thing I miss about a regular sized stomach. I'll take the shrinky dink version over the hot dog any day.
I am going on a cruise with my hubby and some very dear friends next week and I am stoked!! Instead of planning for food around the clock, my honey has already packed our walking shoes and underarmour for the track and the gym. He has already planned out all the outdoor activities we will do together and we are climbing Dunn's River Falls in Jamaica. He would never say it but I think he is really enjoying the fact that I can do so many more physical things. He never would have asked about doing that excursion before. He is one of my hero's and I love him!
I will be sure to post pics of vacay when I return, especially the pic in the white off the shoulder, floor length size 12 dress I will be wearing to dinner!! That was the day that it all was worth it...I tried on dresses for at least an hour and the hubs liked all of them, and then I walked out in THAT ONE!! His eyes widened and his jaw dropped and he exclaimed, "DAMN!" in the middle of Dillards. He is a quiet man, so I knew that was the one!!
Back to the here and now, I wouldn't trade where I am for anywhere else...even goal because every day I have learned a bit more about myself. Patience and acceptance have taken me a while and maybe that's why I'm not at goal yet...I still need to learn a bit more about me so I can handle being at my goal weight.
Pics to follow, of course. Love to all!! I hope I can inspire you as so many others have inspired me.
Today:
The "old" me(that thought no one knew how to use a camera because my pics always made me look fat!!)
Pic from Cruise last November:
Me and the Besties that are cruising this year(the hubs are coming too, they just weren't in this pic)
Wow you look fabulous! I understand what you mean about giving things up. I still can't believe that I have been eleven days diet soda free! I made up my mind that I would start weaning myself off of unhealthy choices before I had surgery so it wouldn't be so dang hard afterward. I can't say I miss it much. It was only 1 20 oz bottle in the afternoon and a 21-oz cup at lunch and an occasional can in the evening.
I am so happy for you and to be candid, I am also a tad envious because I think I am mourning food! I am 6 days post op and all I can think about is the silliest comfort food of all- my daily toasted slice of multi grain bread with peanut butter and honey with a mug of tea! But I am encouraged by your experience and each time I think of my comfort foods I will fantasize about my long black halter neck dress:)
These are the first days of the rest of my life. I feel like i have gone through a rebirth, with a second chance for a new life to live and a new me to treasure! I will remain on the losers bench for the rest of my healthier life! 
Tina
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