Date set and scared sh*tless!

My wait is over.  I have a date set for February 25th.  I know that I should jumping for joy, or crying tears of joy, or something!  But I am numb.  Part of it is because I am sicker than I have been, ever...but a huge reason is because I am scared to death.  Scared of not losing, scared of never being thin, scared of complications, scared of death.  So here is my list of questions circling that need answered...

What are the possible complications?

How many people die in surgery? Do I need to get my will in order since it is major surgery?

If you are thin now, where you thin before in your life?  If you were always big, did you get to thin?

 

I apologize if this does not make total sense, my head is so foggy from this flu...and I can't think straight about having a date.

 

P.s. What is the best food log for post wls?

 

Thanks for the love!    --T

What you are feeling was pretty much how I felt; so I will answer the questions that I can and hope that it helps you feel better.

 

I have been over weight my whole life, oh who am I kidding I have been morbidly obese all my life except for once in the 20s when I lost weight but I couldn't keep it off.

The food tracker I use is Sparkpeople and I love it, some people use My fitness pal.  There is an item called a fit bit that is a pedometer among other things.  I don't have one. However, it can hook up with my fitness pal and spark people websites and helps you track your exercise and food I think.

I had my surgery on the 4th of June and I am down about 80 lbs since then. I feel better than I have in years and years. I am scared that I won't be thin, but I am so much better than I was before I can do things now that I couldn't before.  So even if I don't lose another pound it is still good. I know that if I (IF I) keep working my program I will lose the weight. The sleeve is a tool I still have to make the choices to eat healthy, what the sleeve does for me is keep me in check so I can't really overeat; at least not at this point. My friend had the surgery the same day as me and she eats at least three times the amount of food I can eat. I have followed Frisco's rule of always under eat your sleeve. My Dr told me mine would hold 4 to 6 oz of food. I never eat more than a total of 4 oz. I start with 2 to 2.5 oz of dense protein and that is usually enough for me.

Good Luck with your surgery and please keep us posted and questions are good; so keep asking and keep researching. I looked into this for almost 4 years before I made my decision.

 

I can totally relate.  I was a basket case in the week before surgery.  In fact, when we were in the airport waiting to fly across the country to head to Mexico (had my surgery in Mexicali), my husband lost his boarding pass.  My nerves were so far gone at that point that I could not even think rationally enough to know that the airport staff could simply print him another one.  I was literally in tears thinking that he wasn't going to get to go with me LOL. 

Here I am 9 months later and happier than ever.

To answer your questions:

The biggest risk of complication with the sleeve is a leak, and those are very rare if the patient is following the doctor's instructions.  That's not to say that they never happen, but the post-op diet is designed to have you safely progress from liquids to solids in a way that your healing tummy can handle.  As long as you are following those guidelines, your odds of complications are pretty slim.

The other biggie is dehydration.  It's easy to forget to sip your fluids, but you will need to be constantly sipping, especially in the first few weeks when you can't handle much going down at a time. 

As far as mortality, I researched the heck outta this one, and all of the numbers I found seemed to suggest that VSG is about a safe as a major surgery can be.  It doesn't hurt to have your will in order, but this is true of everyday life anyways. 

As far as being thin goes, I'm currently at the thinnest I've been in my entire adult life.  I haven't weighed what I weigh now since I was 16, which was 14 years ago.  My highest weight was 277, and I was a size 24 at that weight.  My preop weight was 250, and today I am 136.  Surgery was 9 months ago tomorrow.

For food logs, I love myfitnesspal.  They have a smart phone app and a website, both of which are completely free to use.  Lots of us from here are on there, and we love to cheer each other on, since the app brags on our behalf when we stay in our calorie goal, lose weight, or exercise.

Feel better soon!  My husband is sick right now with pneumonia that started as the flu... be careful that you don't follow him!

I am pretty new here. I haven't posted anything as of yet, I have just been an observer and soaking it all in. But I feel the need to reply to your post because 1. I was having the same feelings you are now and 2. I have some important things I learned from my VSG that I can share and possibly put you in a better frame of mind.

Let me start by telling you the basics. I went to a seminar my Dr. Was holding the week before Thanksgiving with the intent of learning more and having the LAP Band. I chose that weight loss option because the thought of having part of a major organ removed that I some day my need scared me so bad that I could barely breathe. However, after attending the seminar and learning that the LAP Band is not a good option, it forced me to realize I needed to rethink my mind set and fast. I was going to either continue on my path of weight gain and more health problems, or I was going to face my fears and learn more. As I learned more about my options, I felt the VSG would be the right choice for me. The following day I started my persuit of insurance approval.

I was approved by my insurance on 12/14/12. My surgery date was scheduled for 12/20/12. Panic set in. What have I done? Am I going to regret doing this? What happens if I get on the table and I die, my daughter will have to grow up without her mother? How could I be so selfish? What if I have major complications? Ever question possible crossed my mind. I was even asking people if THEY thought I was doing the right thing. When I started my pre-op liquid diet, I had to go to the grocery store to get some things for my husband and daughter to eat while I was down after surgery. I was walking through the freezer isle staring at all of my old friends behind the glass. I actually said to myself that it wasn't too late to call and cancel the surgery. I was serious. The thought of never being with my old friends again had thrown me into such a panic that I was actually going to cancel the only hope I had of losing weight? Yep. I laid awake that night thinking of ever reason as to why I shouldn't have the surgery. All for food. Once I reached that realization the following day, I never looked back.

My surgery day came and it was supposed to take place at 3:30PM. I figured that would be torture not being able to have anything to drin****il then and that it would give me too much time to think. Well the hospital called an hour before I was set to leave to tell me that my surgery had to be moved to 6:30PM, so not to come in yet. Seriously, was someone testing me or what? When I finally got to the hospital i was good. Calm and ready to go. Until that is, they wheeled me in to the pre-op room and told my surgery would now take place at 10:30PM. I was sure this was no longer a test but a sign. I went into another panic. But as I laid in this room, they were moving people in there who had just undergone surgeries, much different from mine. The gentleman that ended up next to me had just had some stints put in his arteries. He woke up in major pain. His wife came in sobbing so happy he had "made" it. That could be me. Panic faded once again. 11:00PM and walken in to the sugery room.

I wake up and realize I am now in the same pre-op/post-op room I started out in. I hear one nurse tell the other "VSG with liver biopsy". It didn't register with me until I was comoletely awake and in my room. I then asked my nurse what they meant by the liver biopsy. She said I could ask the doctor when he came in. As soon as he entered the door he started giving me the specifics of my surgery. Long story short, I was a very sick lady and if I hadn't made the life-saving choice to have the VSG, I would have been facing a slow agonizing death. I had a very fatty liver that was inches away from being cirrhosis. My blood sugar level prior to being put under was so high I was almost diabetic. I was lucky that I had the procedure.

Bottom line is, if I didn't floow through with the surgery, I was going to die. I now sit here typing this knowing that, even though I was really scared to fo it, I made the right choice. I am still healing and uncomfortable, and even irritated at times that things are not normal for me right now. But I am alive and already healthier than I was a week ago going in to surgery. I am happy, thankful, and I feel blessed.

I know you are scared. It's perfectly normal and ok to feel that way. But if you are obese and have not been successful in losing the weight yourself, be confident in knowing that you are doing the right thing. Everyone on this site is here for you and behind you 100%. If you ever need a sounding board or just want to chat, I am here for you. I apologize for the lengthy post, but thought it might help to know where I was mentally begore my surgery.

Angela

This is an awesome post!  I am so glad you came out of lurkdom to share this great story with us.  It really puts having WLS and the complication in perspective to not having it.

My surgery date is also February 25th!  I go back and forth from being excited to being very scared and nervous.  Everytime I start thinking that maybe this is a mistake, something happes to give me a reality check.  I need to use the restroom in a public place and it is so small I can't clean properly .... or my son asks me to play with him and after 5 minutes I have to stop .... or I sit down at night to give myself an insulin injection ......... and then I know that I am on the right path and I am doing the right thing for me.

We'll do this together and we can sit side by side on the loser's bench!   

Blessings and prayers,

Sandra

Your anxiety is totally normal!

I was a hot. freakin'. mess before surgery.  The month before was all trouble sleeping, re-evaluating, and wondering if I was going to die on the table.

A couple days before surgery, I came to terms with it.  I'd been obese my entire life: tortured as a fat kid, and torturing myself as a fat adult.  The times I'd dieted down into the obese/overweight range, I was living an anorexic lifestyle of deprivation and food obsession.  When I would let up, I'd regain everything plus about another 10%.  I had to go through with the surgery for my sanity, to know that I'd done everything in my power to address my obesity.

9/11/12 came and went.  I sucked it up through the pre-op liquid diet.  I whined through the heparin shots.  But every day got better.

I'm nearly 4 months out, and down 45 pounds post-op.  I'd lost 30 pre-op.  I don't exercise as much as I should, and while I'm counting protein, for maybe the first time in my life, I'm not food-obsessed.  I'm not hardcore about 600 calories a day comprised of chicken breast and protein shakes with a 45-minute run every morning, and I'm losing.  I'm easing into a long-term sustainable pattern of life where I'm not fighting with my body and hunger every minute.  I'm not telling myself I'm "bad" or "good" based on what I put in my mouth.

And that head space alone is worth price of admission, to me.

You'll find what's right for you.  I hope your flu passes quickly and you feel better!  We all have our reasons for even considering wls.  It's a big step.  I hear the fear of failure in your post, and I had that, too.  While chances of failure are slim (see what I did there?), ask yourself if the potential for success is worth the risk of failure.