I am not normal - my life lesson today brought to you by a pumpkin scone

Raven, interesting how so many of us have the same experiences and feelings.  It helps so much to share them!

I've done the exact same thing while folding clothes.  Thinking "this is so small, it'll never fit me."  Then it does.  And I now have to look at labels to see if underwear is mine or my 19-year-old daughter's!  I used to have granny panties! 

Buying a dress for a special occasion used to be excruciating.  My older daughter is getting married next month, and earlier this week I walked into Nordstrom Rack, saw a pretty gown, tried it on, and bought it.  No contortions, no tears :)    However, there WILL be shapeware involved, for sure :)

You'll love this. My lunatic husband has a habit of putting my two year old's little ruffly skorts in with my underwear.  Yes, honey, I know I'm pretty thin, but seriously?  Those are not mine :)

Shapewear is a friend to all women who have had kids.  Unless they are genetic mutants and don't need it.  

AMEN!  I do this all the time - I marvel at my clothes.  Whats even funnier is how much it get Thomas that he and I can now share clothes.  

My confession is I buy my daughter less clothes now that I love buying myself clothes :) 

I couldn't have said it better... I LOVE FALL... I LOVE ALL THINGS PUMPKIN! and I am most definitely NOT NORMAL!.

We must be soul sisters. I am at goal (orig goal) but still eat basically the same way. I didn't add carbs (except veggies and small amts of fruit) for the very same reasons you mentioned. I know "ME".. the abnormal me. I know I can't handle it. Most days I am totally ok with things. However, about 2 wks ago my parents needed bread and I was already headed to store so offered to pick it up for them ( a specific kind for Dad - no sugar added). Seeing bread doesn't bother me even if I don't consume anymore. HOWEVER, Pepperidge farm decided to add a fall bread... Like cinnamon spice swirl except it was pumpkin spice swirl. I did NOT buy it... But was really angry @ PF for tempting me. Thankfully I have Pumpkin Spice K cups and I came home and had a nice cup of coffee ( low cal / no carbs) :-)

I respect you for your control over the pumpkin scone.

Damn all these special fall pumpkin things!  It's just a marketing ploy!  We can have pumpkin flavored yummies all year through.  Thanks for the respect :)  It was definitely difficult

I feel this way too.  We all do.  Theres not a day that something does not remind me of where I came from.  Sometimes its just feeling good about myself reminds me that Life wasn't always like this.

With all that said - Let me share something with you that took me a while to come to terms with.

Those feelings are in fact - NORMAL.

Everybody has insecurities.  Everybody has some issue that they have to deal with.  Everybody has a trigger that leads them to bad choices - whether its food or alcohol, or even exercise.  What we all have to learn to do is to face that and develop healthy tools for dealing with those things.

In the end we do what NORMAL people do.  We monitor our weight and correct for the less than good choices we make.  Take the girl who was always skinny.  She may not weigh herself every day, maybe she uses her looks or her clothes to tell her when to diet back.  But she does the same thing you are learning to do - she has some key that tells her when to either increase exercise or diet back.  

You are re-learning that behavior later in life.  To paraphrase that great sage Forest Gump - Normal is as normal does.  Normal is always what other people are, not who we are.  Its the emotional case of the grass being greener on the other side.  The truth is we don't truly know what other people struggle with.

So heres what I am going to tell you.  If you want some of that pumpkin scone, you can have it.  You can add it to your food log, see how it will affect your plan and then decide.  (If this is the S'bucks version it has about 500 calories - I look at it every day in that case).  IF you don't want to eat the whole thing, eat 1/3 of it and throw the rest away (and pour something disgusting on top of it).  Maybe make a sugar free bariatric fall food (Look up my Sugar Free Pumpkin butter recipe on here - delicious added to greek yogurt or cottage cheese).  Make your own petite pumpkin scones (I fill the ones I make with my pumpkin butter, no icing).  Eat what you plan for and give the rest away (this makes me REALLY popular with my neighbors, LOL - especially when I make Beignets).

Its easy to feel that life is unfair, that these "Normal" people have all of the advantages and don't know how hard things are for us.  Its easy to feel deprived of the good things just because we were once fat.  These negative feelings are our demons coming back to try and possess us once again.  You have to face how these things make you feel and develop a healthy strategy dealing with them.  For me, Every time I start feeling this way - I just have to remind myself that I worked hard to get where I am, I deserve to enjoy it.  These feelings are like cravings.  I acknowledge them, I let myself feel them, and then I try to move on.  I did all of this to enjoy my life, and damn it I am not going to let some dark emotion take that from me.  

You are doing an amazing job acknowledging how you feel.  Congratulations on that, really superb.  Look for your own path and don't let these feelings poison everything you have achieved.

So wise.  Thank you!  And goodness, you are so right.  I did all of this to enjoy my life, and I'm sure as hell not going to let anything take that away from me.  I really appreciate your response.  So much wisdom, so much perspective.  I may just print it out and put it on my fridge

I love your post. I too am a sugar and carb addict. If I stay away from them I am okay but the moment I start back on them I can eat a whole bag of any of it. It is hard to stop. =/ 

*nodding head*

yup!  if I stay away, I'm just fine.  but one bite, and that's all she wrote :(

I wish I could do "moderation."  Wouldn't that be just grand?  But I know myself well enough to know that I can't.