NSFs: Non-scale Fails

And yes, they are fails that are related to weight loss that aren't shown on your scale. Can anybody tell I tried - TRIED - to get dolled up for a Valentines date?

Fail #1: Shaving your damn legs when your stupid ankle bones stick out so much more than they used to. Be prepared to mangle yourself a few times OR miss a bunch of spots without all that extra padding. Guys, I'm sure it's the same thing with the Adam's apple. FYI: Band-aids are sexy.

Fail #2: God damn hormones start going nutso. Oh - did you accidentally wash your hair with regular soap instead of the anti-frizz shampoo because your brain is full of Tribbles and then didn't notice until you blow-dried it out that it's sticking up like a troll doll? Whoops.

Fail #3: Oh, was that your favorite bra? Did it used to fit? Hahaha, not anymore. That 8 pounds you just lost was all in your boobs, wrists, and ankles, and the boobs can now both fit into 1 bra cup.

Yeeeahhhhh. I guess that whole Valentine's Day date thing isn't happening this year. Hmmm, good night to put on some slippers, turban the troll-hair, and rent a video on Amazon Prime.

Before anybody who's had their sense of humor removed along with their fundus starts to lecture me, I'm just trying to crack a few jokes. I am not whining, regretting my surgery, or dangerously mentally ill (well, not any more than usual).

I can relate to all of the above. that is why I now use an electric razor on my legs so I won't butcher myself. Hormones have settled down almost 2 years out now, and the boob situation, well we wont even go there.

I have resigned myself to no more dates I am past the dating scene anyway (i'm 55) and there just isn't that much left out there to choose from.

So my valentines day will be a movie, an appetizer tray, and some comfortable pj's.

One of the things I used to joke about pre-op was that one of these days, I was going to buy one of those "Chick-Fil-A" party trays full of nuggets. For myself.

No, I never did it. (And obviously, I never will!)

But if I could, I would totally be in front of the TV with some (most likely homemade) chicken chunks and homemade zesty sauce. Since I'm on full liquids, I can't even do that. Dangit!

Next Valentine's Day will totally be better. I keep telling myself that.

I still do Chick-Fil-A! I just order a kid's meal and get something besides fries. I'm the "cool aunt" to all of my friends' kids (and eventually my own niece when she's big enough) who gives her kid's meal toys away to the little ones :)

My problem at this point (11 days postop) is that my stomach is still swollen so even though I'm down 23 lbs (including preop loss) I cannot button my pants. So yoga pants tonight... Not that cute for hubby! Oh well!

Mine's swollen too. Also, I think you lose weight in your belly and torso last. Or so it's been with me so far. I'm going to be this weird funny-shaped chick with skinny arms, skinny legs, narrow shoulders, a turkey neck, and a big butt. HOT.

You CRACK ME UP!!!

I totally mangled my legs too!!

who knew bones got in the way!!

Just want to add one of my NSFs: sitting on the potty is more challenging as I slip through the opening...my cheeks don't offer any support any longer. 😳

Also, I have given up wearing my rings-they kept flying off my finger****ting my clients in the head- embarrassing.

I think we will have to take your potential dangerous mental illness under consideration LOL. I think you're funny!

^YES! Who knew the toilet could be so uncomfortable??

And I'm pretty upset about the rings :( I have several with high emotional meaning that just slip right off!

Have you tried those little plastic ring snuggies? They slip right onto the back of the band and they help keep them on. I've used them in the past for rings passed down through family, and they work reasonably well as long as you're not using them every day!