Overly dramatic sigh - what is wrong with me?

I'm sorry you are feeling sad.  I wonder if it could be the winter blues.  I know I get depressed every February - its a bit of cabin fever with the bad weather and lack of sunshine.  So I've started a regimen of just going out and standing in the sunshine for a few minutes every day (if the sun is out, which isn't always the case!) 

I've also had times in my life where there weren't enough challenges.  I was choosing safety over challenge, and I got pretty lethargic and unhappy.  I ended up with a lot of upheaval in my life.  Hopefully, you'll find a better path than I did!

Thank you for your kind presence on this forum.  I wish you the best!

Carol

Thanks, hon.  I appreciate it and you.  i'm sure part of it is the winter blues, part of it is spraining my ankle, and a variety of other stuff.  I've been trying to be in sunshine more, and I found it helps.  Happy Friday :)

Hug! Just cuz that's what I can offer. A long, soulful and strong hug.

Listen to the screaming woman carefully. Is she really screaming or is she trying not to cry? Listen oh, so carefully.

My oh my Kairk. That hits really close to home for me. Quite often my flailing around is just a diversion for my sadness. Maybe it's safer to scream than to acknowledge deep sadness

Lots safer, but far less productive and sadly, far more detrimental in the long run. I've learned the hard way...

Love you so, so much.  It's a combination, and I came to a small realization last night when thinking about the past couple months, my behavior, my feelings, what has actually happened and how it is similar to when I was a normal weight before my wedding a few years ago.  I "missed out" on really being me when I was young and single. I "missed out" on fun that I could have had, experiences, whatever.  BUT, the actual thing is, it wasn't because I was heavy.  It was because I am careful, I am conscientious, I am responsible.  There are reasons for that that start in my childhood, but none of those things are bad and they are just me.  Who I am.  Maybe I just need to allow myself to have a tantrum instead of being so contained and rational.  I am not a robot, no matter how much I like to act like one :)  And perfection is not only unattainable, it's a myth.  It doesn't exist anywhere, and it would be so boring.  I wish I could give you a big hug.  I feel like it would brighten my day so much.

Even if it's not the 'full' answer, I think Frisco's point is very relevant. Those of us who beat this losing weight thing to death are typically not comfortable if we aren't uncomfortable, so to speak!  

For me, at least for now, I've been able to switch my focus to meeting running related goals - faster times, longer distances, etc. I find that planning towards particular races keeps me motivated and focused in a healthy way. Also, in the same way that I got a lot of enjoyment from the constantly moving scale, I now take pleasure in all my accomplishments that relate to running. So I think this is the phase of our journey where finding new passions - as opposed to activities - can be very helpful. 

I need to find healthier passions than wine :)  And you and Frisco are both right.  I'm not comfortable if I'm not uncomfortable.  I need goals, I need work, I need to be better and better and better.  Comfort = laziness = depression = food. 

I know for me, there was this factor - it was a huge shock to discover that at a normal weight I am still the same insecure, fearful, shy five-year-old I was at 250 lbs.  I thought I was miserable because I was fat, and that all my problems would be solved when I became thin.  Turns out I was just straight-up miserable, and now with nothing to blame it on.  What a revelation, LOL!  As someone else said, it's amazing what we discover hiding under the fat, and I agree with all the people who said a shrink can help you peel the onion.  The faster those layers are revealed and let go, the less chance you'll resort to your old medication (food) to avoid them.

It's actually funny that you write this because I remember when I first realized I was actually happy because I'd spent so many years miserable.  I realized that I'm still me when I'm happy.  I'm still cynical, I'm still sarcastic, I'm still a ***** I'm just happy.  And I am happy, and I have been happy.  I'm just not feeling it right now.  It's like there's this wall, and I need to figure out how to cru**** or scale it before I just deny it by stuffing food down my throat.