Had dinner with my my doctor :)

It was fun to pick his brain about a number of topics.  You are right, he is not always consistent.  I do think he wants me to keep my weight not because it "looks better" on me, but because it is the weight that I have maintained for a number of years with just a few pounds in either direction.  He does not want to see an upward shift.  I think that if I had originally lost down to 115, and kept that for years, he would have been fine with me keeping that weight.  It's the unintentional gain in the wrong direction that bothers him.  I agree with him and will be just take it back down.  What was throwing me is the compliments from people I love and admire.  In the end, it really doesn't matter if it looks better or not, it's about being able to keep the same weight.  Now I am off to a tapas and wine bar....Oy....:)

Regardless of intention or not (though I do agree, unintentional gain is a slippery slope- provided it continues, sometimes though it's the body stabilizing to the life you lead.. and it stays there- that can be a good thing.) I think you always look great, but I too have to add that I think you look better with the extra 7 on your frame, it landed in just the right places to add to what you already have working for you. It looks more balanced on you too, & frankly sexier, and if I can say this w/o offending - younger.. :)

I'm gonna have to question you on this....... I've seen it IRL at 105lbs., held it and photographed it (for medical reference of course)..... and it's pretty correct.

Very healthy is probably the best way to describe someones "wife".....

frisco

Frisco, (re: the pic) it's just my personal opinion- and we all know what that means ;)

I only see pictures, and pictures at angles, or in the best light.. etc. I was speaking my mind.. you speak yours.. and in the end Elina's is the only voice that really counts. I have no doubt she's healthy.

My only point, was that I have observed over the nearly 4 years I've been here reading and learning, that I see a pattern of normalcy then fasting on soup to re-attain/maintain a lower weight. For her specifically, that may be the way she prefers to keep herself and her body in check, but for others (this is a public forum, with many members) that may and likely have eating/body issues and behaviors, that line of thinking or even suggested behavior can trigger an unrealistic and potentially damaging ideal to strive towards. *add obligatory disclaimers as you will*

WLS surgery is not to get one to under a 20 BMI or to even get one "skinny" or to maintain that, it is ultimately to add to one's health and well being, and to maintain a normal and healthier body. If a very low BF or BMI is the result, more power to one, especially if it's a naturally occurring set-point. However, if it is a constant yo-yo battle of will (not speaking of mindfulness, but periodic extreme restricting/fasting) over body, that eventually becomes damaging, if not physically but psychologically.. that is my point, and that point was not directed at Elina specifically, but as she is the one posting the threads, I chose to add my thoughts to it for the benefit of anyone reading. Some of us get wrapped up into the ideal of achieving and maintaining the lowest possible physical weight post-op, regardless of mental or physical health.. and that IS not conducive to improving one's health in the long run. 

I think this is very well said and I appreciate that you shared these thoughts.  Any extreme of behavior is unhealthy and certainly worth being mindful of.  

Hey Jo,

First, never question it..... I will always respect your opinions and views as they always have thought and knowledge behind it.

I knew in a second where you were going with this from your previous post in Elina's thread here. I have also read the jabs at her in other (off the grid) threads.

In a broad stroke is it valid? Yes, very valid but the question always seems to be..... "where is the line"???

My opinion is that from knowing her IRL and being "classmates" with her at the same "fat school" that she is firmly in the "safe and healthy zone" but I can see how others may perceive her approach.

She makes herself an open target by being so open and as a result the perception can be all over the place. Me. not so open..... when I put a few pounds on.... your not gonna read about it cause I'm not that open, there you heard it frisco's weight can fluctuate !!!

Bottom line, eating disorders are serious issues and should be dealt with as needed. So I really get your point as it is valid on many levels and that's why the posts by the oregon girl were way off base.

That said, here is my opinion and take on this thread. This will be picking on Elina but I know she can take it.

Our surgeon has some basic intentions and goals for us:

- Better quality of life

- Weight loss

- Education ie. nutrition, behavior, exercise, lifestyle, anatomy, surgical procedure, long term data.

- Maintenance

He gives us all the tools we need to do this for long term success. Although he does have a pretty firm guideline for weight loss, maintenance is pretty wide open and individual. We are supposed to have "found our way" and put it all together for the long haul. His stance is pretty simple as he often says "I never argue with success" or "just keep doing what your doing". He will advise and suggest as needed.

So why did I say all that? It's the long way to say that what Elina does is her thing and it works for her and she shares it and leaves her open for question.

Would I do it that way? Yes and I have, it might not be soup and salad which I don't find the least bit a negative as I enjoy that kind of meal. I tend to have many go-to ways to cut back which can be used together and separately and I'm sure you and Elina have those also.

Here are my other takes on this thread....

- Yo Yo crash dieting....... I don't see Elina as falling into this category and I don't feel it's fair to paint that picture of her. Here is a person that has been in the same weight range for well over 4 years now regardless of her chosen goal weight. She has a normal weight range of about 5lbs. and has had to pull it back a few times as it may have got to a couple pounds over her range.

Well, in my book that is called maintenance and stellar maintenance at that. Lose the weight, maintain the range...... that is perfection...... how does it get better than that?

What I think is unhealthy is when people let the weight creep way past their range and than do the 5 day torture pouch thing. That is yo yo crash dieting vs. eating delicious chicken soup.

You have mentioned "set-points" a few times and I'm thrilled for you that you have one. I've tried many times..... I don't think I have one and I think most of us that have some degree of damaged metabolism don't have one that could be reliable.

I'm not saying that this is you, but I really think what freaks people out more than anything is the number 105lbs. That number and obesity are diametrically opposed and frankly many people can't comprehend that number, but if you look at the boards.... Elina is not the only one and 5'2'' 105 is a normal healthy common weight for a woman of her build and how many 5'2'' 120lbs. normies do we know that could stand to lose 10lbs.

So in the end (off my post.... cause I don't thing were ever going to be done) You have found your way, Elina has her way, I have my way and everyone else that does this to their own satisfaction has done it their way.

But, point well taken...... mental and physical health trumps everything.

frisco

Frisco- her weight in lbs doesn't in the slightest freak me out (though I'm sure to some others it may, as does the size 0, which I've actually argued with my normie friends.. they think it shouldn't exist.. I point out it's just a ******g number, not some sort of concrete reality, some are just blessed with a natural 24' or lower waist size..??)

She's a very tiny person, and that's nothing to be argued.. the only point I had, that had been sticking in my head for some time.. (and yes, we all have our ways of staying in our range- even my normie husband at nearly 6' tall (low of high 130's in his late 20's to high-pudgy 160+ a few years ago) has a method- though for him, I swear.. and we've chatted obv about it- it's not conscious thing per say, it just naturally levels for him without thought.. we all have ways to stay within a comfort zone.. the jumping in point of the convo was for me, the up/down/up/down I was seeing (that was openly shared, therefore, open to convo) and I wanted to use it as a starting point.. As even within a few pounds, that the soup, fasting, what-have-you  could create something that could cause issue for some..

With popularity, respect, frequency of posting and status, etc. comes more responsibility.. having a husband in the mental health field rubs off as well, so no action in my mind is without consequence.

She herself has pointed out that perhaps a shift away from indulgences as often with the wine/good food/fun would reset things in a more even keel (been there myself :) ).. that's the direction I was ultimately going, which i think you grok..

There are too many folks- me very mu*****luded that matter, for our lifetime were all-or-nothing types, extremes to one side or another, and perpetuating this post-op lifestyle with fasting to reduce the excess from 'good living' up & down would possible re-ignite that pattern.. this is ultimately an all-encompassing change, whether it's just eating/reducing eating to exercising/over-exercising.. we all need to find a healthy "set-point" for a better word.. perhaps this is a convo best suited for maint boards, but honestly, it's the new-ops, and pre-ops that need to see this for what it is.. one small part in an overhaul of a lifetime of disordered drives and behaviors that need much more attention than just a plan of a set parameter of macro nutrients and "will-power." 

Sometimes I go too deep.. but I post so infrequently, that I swear it gets saved up for a big brain-dump..

Where is this pic? I want to see it, too.

Oh and HEY pretty lady! How the hell are you?

Nevermind. I found it. 

Elina, I am still sticking to my opinion that unintentional weight gain is a slippery slope. JMO, of course. 

Yes, I do think that he seems happy with my weight because I have been the same for the past 2.5 years. I see him regularly to keep myself in check. 5 lbs won't make much difference health wise, but keeping on top of it and not letting it progress to 10 lbs or more is the point of it all. I know that weight gain after surgery is always something he is very concerned about. You are a lovely woman inside and out and you are very strong and motivated. Losing your "extra lbs" (I believe) is more to keep you in check and on top of things than how you look or any affect on your health. Dr. Cirangle knows what he's talking about so I would absolutely follow his advice.