Hello and Help!

Hello All!

I have been reading this forum for months but have not really posted anything. Why? Because I think I'm ashamed of myself. I've never thought of myself that way before, but since I decided to do WLS I have been my biggest enemy. I am a 27 year old female and when I started this journey I was 300lbs. I am down to 282 and will have surgery this Tuesday. For the most part, 99% of my friends and family are on board, with the exception of my grandmother.  Their opinions don't phase me, but I can finally admit that I think I'm scared of the possible new me. Does that make sense? I have been overweight/obese since I can remember and I have gotten comfortable in being the fat person. But there is so much more to life that I want to experience but my weight is really hindering me. I want to have a relationship, kids, travel, and be more active and energetic. I've always been someone who likes to stay in a comfort zone, and I assume that is my weight. I guess my biggest question is how do you cope with the new you?

Hello, fellow 20-something! I was 27 when I had surgery last year, and I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from. I was terrified of the unknown future that I would face post op, having gotten so complacent in my obesity. When I was diagnosed as pre-diabetic, I decided that enough was enough and WLS was the thing that was going to save my life. I also went into this looking forward to a relationship, more energy, etc... Now that I'm coming up on a year post op (10 months on the 1st of May), I'm able to look back and see everything that has changed. I'm down over 100 pounds, I have more energy than I've had in years. I can walk for more than 5 minutes without my heart feeling like it's going to pound out of my chest. My confidence is at its highest. And I've even started dabbling in the dating scene... something that is as exciting as it is scary!

If I had known a year ago what my life would look like today, I would have scheduled this surgery much MUCH earlier. In the end, you have to be willing to step out of that comfort zone in order to have WLS. In my pre op counseling sessions, my therapist said, "Welcome to the time in your life where you will be uncomfortable." And it's the truth. There's a lot about this process that is awkward and uncomfortable, but TOTALLY worth it in the end.

Best of luck, hon. Feel free to add me as a friend or PM me if you have any questions. Regardless, keep us posted!

You are right it is scary. I was 50 when I had the VSG and at 307#, but it's been worth everything! You are also right that your weight stops you from a lot of what life has to offer. I'm still adjusting to the new me and sometime I forget that I'm different now. Looking in the mirror for the last year has been a moment of who is this? Hang in there your mind adjust you just can vision it yet.

Welcome lady! I've just turned 26 and my surgery will, hopefully,  be sometime between November and January! I can completely relate with being scared of the possible new you.  Just remember that this surgery works on your intestines,  not your brain.   

Like you,  I've always been over weight and I've been in that place in my head where I decided to just live my life,  accept myself,  and screw everyone else!  That was all fine and dandy,  until I hit 300 and was diagnosed with prediabetes.  Then I started noticing how hard it had become to get around. One day(after months of research) I decided to start the process of having this surgery and I'm so excited that I've decided to do this while I'm still so young!  

I'm saying all this to say welcome!  It's nice to have you here! 

These final steps are the scariest, I think.  I'm scheduled for next Wednesday.  I've been looking forward to this for months - but now that I'm so close to surgery, the doubts come creeping in.  I've seen it in dozens and dozens of posts, so I'm not really surprised.  I'm not concerned about the surgery, it what's going to happen after.  But 99% of the people that have had surgery are happy they did it - and wish they did it sooner.  

You say you're comfortable being the fat girl - but are you happy?  I'm been heavy my whole life.  I got married, I have a wonderful daughter, 99.9% of people treat me very well (because I'm such a nice person ).  But my weight has held me back from so much.  I can't do normal every-day things.  My health is getting worse.  I want to be able to walk and breathe without difficulty.  I want to be able to garden, to go to the beach, to sit in any chair, to walk into a room without feeling all eyes on me.  

Thin or fat, life presents challenges.  Don't let your nerves get the better of you.  Where will you be next year if you don't have the surgery?  Do it now while you're young - don't let your health deteriorate.

Good luck to you.  

" how do you cope with the new you"?

It's awesome. I'm 49, so a bit longer in the tooth, but I realized at 274 lbs that I had stopped making eye contact with people because I didn't want to see pity or disgust on their face. I hid in my house. I was ashamed going to the grocery store because I didn't want people checking out what was in my shopping cart. Physically, everything HURT! My feet hurt, forget about getting down on my knees to garden (I really struggled to stand up afterwards), stairs were tricky, taking a shower was exhausting..hell, just turning over in bed I had to kind of heave myself over. I was a mess and I knew it. 

Today, 88 lbs later, I am a size 14, I wear high heel shoes again, I shop in the regular clothing stores (screw you Lane Bryant and your over priced clothes!), I can sit in a movie theater seat with room to spare, no more sleep apnea, blood sugar is normal now, blood pressure is terrific, no more ibuprofen to make it through another tiring day,  I can buy a airline ticket and not have to do the sideway shuffle up the aisle or have people silently hope I don't sit next to them, I wear makeup again, mow the lawn, work out, can go on roller coaster rides again, zip line, go to the zoo for hours without having to sit down and catch my breath even once...and I met a wonderful man. I'm getting married to my dream guy. 

Don't be scared. It's not all fun and games having this surgery, but it IS awesome. Enjoy all your NSV..there will be a lot and some will take you completely by surprise. Take lots of pictures now and save your fat jeans so you can do that before and after photo...watch in awe as you hit Onderland....you will not believe what you will look like in 6 months. I guarantee it!

Colleen 

"screw you Lane Bryant and your over priced clothes!"

YES! I feel the same way about Maurices. Cheaply made, but the only place that I could ever find "trendy" clothes... NEVER AGAIN.

Reading this post made me excited. I am yet to be scheduled for my surgery date, but I am SO excited to think about sitting in a chair and HAVING ROOM! And shopping in a store that isn't so over-priced! I'm almost crying at the thought.

I had surgery last week.  When I went for my consult, I was right where you are.  What if I wasn't the fat girl?  What if things were different?  It's scary and exciting. 

This will change a lot of things.  We're gonna be out there without this insulation that has guarded us from things.  We're giving up the food that was our "friends."  The things that you went to for comfort.

But, life can be better.  And it's out there.  And we can do this.

I plan to stay in touch with a therapist.  I've been with my husband for 15 years.  He lost all of his weight two years ago when he drastically changed his diet and took up running.  He lost 85lbs and runs marathons.  I love the new him as much as the old, but I have weird feelings about the new me.  I'm sensitive to how people will be treating me.  Because, I feel like, "I am awesome now.  I will still be the same person."  But I won't be.  I will FEEL different, as I feel better, I have more energy, I sleep better, I feel more attractive.

I'm 41.  I wish I had done this years ago. 

My advice is to find a good therapist that works with eating issues.  I was lucky enough to find one that had WLS herself.  I didn't do this when I was banded.