People feeling deceived

One of my motivations for wanting to tell EVERYONE that I've had WLS is that I'm worried that if I don't tell people what I've done to lose weight, and they find out later, they'll feel deceived.  I'm mainly thinking of people who are my long-distance friends that I don't see often enough to talk with about this stuff - people I see regularly all know about my surgery.  

So I figured I should ask to see if this is actually something I should be concerned about - have you had anyone be upset with you and say that you lied to them for not letting them know you had surgery?  What were the cir****tances if this did happen?  

Edit

Screw it.  I have spent way too much time stressing out about this, so I just went and posted the following on Facebook.  

I’ve been going crazy wanting to share my great success with all of you, so here goes. My #1 goal for this year has been to be more kind to myself and I’ve been working hard on healing my mind and body. You’ve all read about therapy (massage and mental) and exercise, but I also started a lot of diet modification in January. I lost ~25 pounds and then, in March, I had about 85% of my stomach removed via laparoscopic Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. Since then I’ve lost another ~55 pounds for a total, so far, of 82 pounds.

I’ve still got a ways to go, but I can say with zero hesitation that this is the best, and kindest, thing I have ever done for myself.  I’m really excited to share my progress with you guys and I’d appreciate any support and encouragement you have to offer! (I’m also happy to answer any questions if you’ve got those.)

IMO, the truth is easier to remember.  Expect some nay-sayers, but keep true to what you know.  

In the professional realm, if you tell one person, you might as well tell everyone.  If you concealed it and it gets out by anyone but you (and it will), you've blown your professional integrity, and you might as well get a new job having already been labeled a liar.

I wasn't talking about actually lying to people, or concealing it.  I'm just concerned that people will see I'm losing weight with pictures on Facebook, make assumptions as to how I'm losing it, and then feel like I lied to them when they find out I had surgery.  Does that make more sense?  

It makes perfect sense, but it's not the perception that others will behold.  You can be as technical as you want, but the impression will be that you were lying....even if you were only keeping things from them.

And this is what I worried about - that people will make their own assumptions and then feel lied to when their assumptions are wrong.  Which is a stupidly foolish way to behave.  

Oh well, the point is all moot now for me!

I don't think people have a right to feel deceived unless they've asked me if I've had surgery and I've lied to them. I don't require or expect people to tell me about their medical issues and procedures, and I'll never understand why others feel they have a right to know. Very strange!!

I have not had anybody ask me if I've had weight loss surgery.... so I don't tell them! I think I'm at a point where if I were asked directly, I would answer... but unless they ask, I just go about my life/business and don't make it the focus of conversations!

I certainly agree that I don't think people have a right to feel deceived just because they're made bad assumptions :P  But I'm still worried that people will - sigh.  But then I started wondering if that actually happens.  

I'm so conflicted :P

I totally understand... I have felt the same way for almost 2 years!! Honestly... I am getting closer and closer I think to just being open about it if asked.... it has taken me a long time to get to this place... but I've gotten here in my own time!

I always hated when fellow heavy friends had surgery but then acted like they just did it with workout and healthy eating...I feel like I will need to pay it forward to my fellow fattys the truth...we've all struggled...and if I tell people and they have a bad attitude about it, its there problem...

Well, I was on the receiving end of once asking someone what they were doing to lose weight, being told "I'm eating less" and later finding out he had weight loss surgery. I did not feel deceived - it really wasn't my business. If I had known I was asking a medical question rather than a lifestyle question, I wouldn't have asked - I'm a big believer in respecting other folks' privacy.

That said, I did eventually wish he had told me the whole truth. If he had, I might have considered my own surgery a lot sooner. Also, to be honest, I felt a little hurt and sad that he didn't tell me about the surgery, like he thought I would judge him or be negative and I hate that he might have felt that way about me. But I do absolutely recognize that it was his call what to tell me and I don't actually have a right to impose my judgments either on his medical decisions or what he disclosed to people. But intellectually knowing that doesn't stop my emotions from feeling sad that he didn't feel he could trust me. I hope that makes sense.