On my way and having second thoughts....advice please!

Hello,

I'm in the mid stages of prepping for the sleeve and after my appt. yesterday I'm having second thoughts.  My concern is what life will be like after I lose the weight.  I'm not worried about what it will take to lose the weight but will I ever be able to be satisfied eating again?  Will I still be able to drink wine?  I got scared yesterday because the nurse at my surgeons office made me feel like I will not be able to eat more then a dimes worth of food forever, no drinking liquids more then a sip at a time forever and one glass of wine will be like 10 glasses of wine to my liver after surgery 'forever'.

I don't want to be overweight anymore and I don't want to yo-yo diet anymore 100lbs loss then gain back 120 and so on and so on so many times.  I don't eat junk, I am a foodie , I love good food and I have had a love affair with food my whole life and I am scared that I will never enjoy a meal or a glass of wine again!  I'm afraid of losing my free will.  This is the first time I've felt like this since I made the decision to have the sleeve done. 

I was hoping I could get some real life experiences from people who are foodie's, gourmets that love to eat good food not junk, soda, fastfood etc.  and basically love going wine tasting and enjoying that glass of red wine to enhance to flavor of the food that their eating.    What happens after?  I almost feel like I have to have that part  of me die with this surgery and I am losing focus as to why I want the surgery in the first place.  (high blood pressure, quality of life etc). 

I would appreciate any  thoughts, experiences, facts about what eating and drinking life of a foodie is after surgery or weight loss portion --- I get that there is an adjustment to my diet in order to lose the weight at first it the AFTER I reach goal to a worry about.

Any advice is welcome!!!!!  Thanks!

I am almost 8 months out and I can eat almost anything I want!  I just choose not to.  I do drink a glass a wine sometimes.  As time goes on, you will be able to eat alot more than what you did right after surgery.  Try not to think about what you will not be able to do and think about all the things you will be able to do after losing the weight!

I don't feel deprived of anything!  If I want junk food, I can eat junk food, but I don't.  Good luck

Hey, the concerns are understandable, they truly are.  That being said, I think the whole never getting to eat more than a dime amount is not something you need to worry about. One of the really great things about the sleeve is that you don't really have the physical desire to eat tons of food (whether healthy or not).  I am just starting my 4th month post-op and last night I had about 3 oz of bbq chicken and a little salad.  It tasted great, was healthy, and filling.  Once you get past the beginning of the surgery, you can eat pretty easily, just not a lot.  As far as the alcohol, I don't drink so I can't really answer that.  But, in my support group there are people who have wine and they said that it's actually pretty great after the surgery because they get a great buzz on one drink that wears off pretty quickly and no hangover.  So, not sure if that's accurate, just what multiple people have said.  You definitely need to explore whether this is something that is right for you but I wouldn't let something like worry over food intake be a deciding factor.  I am a major, major foodie as you put it, and I am getting by pretty decent.  I know in my heart that I didn't have the inner strength to lose the 180lbs or so that I want to lose nor would I have been able to lose the 90lbs I have lost so far.  For me, knowing that I already weigh less than I have in 10 years, knowing that I have lost 90lbs since my highest weight and 75 in just the 3 months since the surgery, has made the loss of that satisfyingly full feeling you get when you eat a large meal more than palatable.  But, I am one of many on here.  I am sure you will get plenty of answers that back-up what I am saying. Lastly, you mentioned that you may feel like you will be having "that part of me die with this surgery."  I honestly felt the same way, even felt that way after the surgery for a little bit, but realized pretty quickly that I would rather have that part of me die that have ALL of me die, just food for thought.

It all depends on your approach and mindset.....

I'm more into food now more than ever, it's just quality over quantity and what's best for my maintenance.

My recommendation always is to lose the weight first...... die a little if you have to. I have seen waaayyy to many people fail or not get to their desired weight because they didn't want to "stop living".

The food culture "can" revolve around "social" experiences. For me the social experience is enhanced 10 fold because at a normal weight I wear nice clothes and just feel more comfortable not being among the fattest in the room.

I only really started cooking after WLS and now have many opportunities in the culinary world..... weird.....

Wine for me is a "condiment" of sort. I only sip it when it will enhance a food/flavor. 

Again, lose the weight first, develop good habits and establish new normals and in maintenance you will find your sweet spot which I assure you can be very satisfying.

frisco

6 months out.

I have enjoyed amazing steak, spectacular sashimi, yummy gourmet pizza (mostly just the toppings), had some tasty small glasses of wine while relaxing after a nice meal, sipped on a non-carbonated mixed drink at a work happy hour, licked ice cream cones with my kids...

I cook real food for my family, bake for my friends - I still enjoy food (just smaller portions) and the company of the people I am eating with.

I follow a "moderation" lifestyle with protein forward choices.  I will not limit myself to a boring menu of the same stuff over and over, I am learning to make good choices, eat my portion and leave the rest, share, taste, explore food for its nutrition, not just the gluttonous approach I had before.

We used to go out for a date night and drop $150 on sushi and drinks...now it is more like $80 b/c I get my seaweed salad to share and 2 orders of market price sashimi, hubs gets 2 fancy rolls, a saporo - and that's it. 

We are saving money and I am learning to appreciate the finer things when eating out...a petite filet is all I need or the appetizer steak bites - no more looking for the best value for volume of meat...I just get the best little steak and savor every tiny bite.

I'm a foodie too.  I love to eat excellent food, I love to cook, when we travel eating good food is the focus of MY vacation (although not necessarily my husband's). Right now I'm 5 weeks post op.  And right now I absolutely hate eating.  I hate how it tastes, I hate my limited options.  I'm not a wine drinker but I do like to drink and I like to explore with different mixed drinks.  And I'm missing that too.  I don't drink coffee or soda, fast food or lots of snacks, so that isn't my issue.  Having said all that, however, the only reason I went with WLS in the first place is because one of my best friends had it done.  She is 2 years post op and I went to visit her before my surgery and I watched her eat.  We ate Chinese, we ate Mexican, we went out for an AMAZING steak dinner, we ate Italian...and she was able to eat normal food.  She ate far less than I did, but she ate bread and pasta and chips and salsa and as I was watching her eat I thought to myself, "I can do that.  I can live through the first year or however long it takes to lose the weight and then I can eat normal and be happy."  And that is what keeps me going.  Right now I'm miserable, but I've also lost 31.5 lbs.  I'm already wearing better looking clothes.  I've had people comment that I'm looking good and they can tell I've lost weight.  And that feels good.  My husband who never, ever had a problem with my weight (and who doesn't say I look better now) can tell.  His comments are things like, "I like being able to get my arms around you and hold you closer."  And those things make me feel awesome.  So when I'm eating jerky for lunch and wishing I was eating something else, I think about all the great things that are happening and will continue to happen and remind myself that I made the right choice.  I hope that help you.  Good luck on your journey, whichever one you choose.

I'm a newbie (about 5 months since surgery, 8 months since changing my lifestyle) and a foodie.  You will be able to eat more than a dime's worth of food.  You may be able to enjoy sipping wine (I say may because some people have transfer addictions and you will need to be careful).  I love good food.  I love trying new and creative dishes.  After getting through the post-surgery food phases, I am very happy with my lifestyle when it comes to food.  I don't eat out a lot but when I do, I go to nice restaurant and order lovely food.  I just make sure that I eat protein forward and avoid anything sugary.  I've had amazing meals.  They were just a lot smaller!  Most often, I try to go out with someone that will share food.  When my fiance and I go out, we usually order an appetizer that I may pick a tiny bit at and one entree to share.  The foodie in you does not have to die. 

Major Foodie Here.

The reason I chose the VSG over the RNY is because I AM a foodie.  I didn't want to miss out on things I love to eat for the rest of my life.  The nurse at your surgeon's office is incorrect.

• I can eat about 3 ounces of protein at a meal with a few vegetables on the side.
• I can drink gulps of water like I did prior to surgery (but this happens after your stomach heals and you're a few months out)
• Upon the advice of my surgeon and many others here on OH, I have decided to forego drinking wine for at least a year after surgery.  My priority is to lose weight.

I've been where you are.  I know how scary it seems that some foods will be lost to you forever.  They won't be, but some may be put into the "only on occasion" list.  Things like starchy carbs, pasta, bread, potatoes, etc.

Before I had surgery, we used to eat out almost every night of the week.  Now I cook my own meals and believe me, they are delicious and healthy.  I have no problem finding something in line with my food goals at any restaurant.

I had surgery in December 2013.  I attended a Los Angeles Chef Classic food event in March 2014.  I completely lost all perspective of my limitations and overate.  I felt sick, had tunnel vision and was absolutely miserable.  It was too soon after surgery to properly gauge what my intake should/could be and I started eating like I did before surgery.  Great lesson learned.  I don't have to eat the WHOLE THING anymore; just a taste is sometimes enough to give me the satisfaction of what I enjoy about food.

Yes, you will have to change your thinking about food, but as I always tell myself, these things, these foods I love, will always be there.  I just don't have to eat them right this very second.  I try to keep my eye on the prize and remember that my goal is to feel better, get healthy and life a longer, happier life.  It's worth sacrificing some things in the moment.

I found that therapy helps a great deal, particularly with those of us who have a very emotional and passionate connection to food.

Thank you very much to those of you who have already replied!   It's nice to know that the way I feel is not just me...and it is comforting to hear other foodie types experiences truly.  Looking forward to other experiences!

Has anyone felt compelled to diet one more time prior to a final decision for the sleeve? Has anyone actually moved forward dieted successfully that last time after being informed about bariatric surgery and has maintained it by lifestyle change for fear that the only alternative left is surgery?  I realize it just the fear in me but I just want to cover all my options now that I am informed before I make my ultimate final decision...I appreciate any thoughts her as well.