So upset about what a cousin said about my surgery

My cousin called me today and she lives in Australia. I told her I was having the VSG done on weds and her reply was "Maybe if you would just put down the candy bars and burgers you would lose some weight." She went on to tell me that I was butchering my body and I was going to regret it in the end. I hung up saddened and depressed. I have been dieting for years now. I haven't had a candy bar or a burger in a year.  Did any of you have reactions like that before your surgery? How did you overcome them if you did?

And that is why I didn't tell my extended family, you may innocently think they would have your best interest at heart but they end up being jealous, opinionated and down right rude. Now I also had other people who didn't know about my surgery but knew about an aunt who just did it say that "Nobody needs to go through surgery if they just put their mind into it they would lose weight on their own." All I can say is that not telling everyone about surgery was the best decision I made, I didn't have to deal with other peoples opinions. In your case I would stop considering that cousin a close friend, give yourself some space an concentrate on the great choice and road you have taken. Let the surgery speak for itself and put those mouthing about it to shame.

Wow...simply, wow.  She is sadly ignorant.  Luckily I haven't had any reactions like this.  My family has been incredibly supportive, as have any friends that I've told.  In all honesty, I wouldn't put any weight (ha, pardon the pun) into her statements.  She clearly doesn't know what she is talking about and has a far over simplified idea of why some people are overweight.  This makes me think of an incident just last month...while at a concert some moron guy behind my friends and I commented to me about us being "so fat"...I was about 1 1/2 months post op at that time.  I simply stated to him..."well, I can do something about being fat...what are YOU going to do about being so F#*$king stupid?"   Let her comments roll off you like water off a duck.  Move on.  You know if this decision in right for you, you don't have to justify it or explain it to anyone.  Best wishes!

Bru**** off dont let that Debbie downer put you down. It hard enough when you try to lose weight on your own. So what if the surgery is a tool that will help you become a healthy person. Ignore stay positive and keep on track girlfriend take care see you on the losing bench

Americans tend to be very PC. We have had it driven into us our entire lives. It's neither good nor bad. It's just my personal observation. Other countries aren't that way. They say it like they see it and they give unsolicited advice. Personally, I find this incredibly refreshing because I never have to wonder what they are really thinking. 

So cool. You now know that your cousin hasn't spent a minute in your body, but she still thinks she knows what's best for it. At least she didn't bull**** you and say something stupid like "do whatever you think is right" which is code for OH, MY HELL!?!?! WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING TO YOUR BODY!?!?!" You now know that she doesn't agree with your choice. Awesome. 

Simple solution. Don't ever talk to her about it again, but love the hell out of her for being the one person who gave you an honest opinion and lovely--if not at all realistic--advice. 

Ignore the white noise and just do you. 

AMEN slimpickins5280.  You hit it exactly!  Celebrate honesty but if it isn't Truth for you.... Let it go!    Just do you!   Excellent advice!    Thanks,  Harris

My family as said pretty much the same thing...just diet and exercise, you've done it before!  That's true...but I know how frustrating it is to keep going up and down (more up than down) and I don't want to end up that way the rest of my life!  You have made a great decision...you should stand by it and go for it!  From everything I've read here...you are going to love yourself and your results!  Can't wait to hear how you do!

That was a ****ty thing for someone to say.  Sorry she sucks - I'd move on and not bother talking with her about this again.  

I doubt you are doing this for your cousin...so....bru**** off and keep going. Unless you've been in "your" shoes, then no one will know. PC, or not, it was hurtful to you. My comment is always suck it sideways.  But that's just me.

YEAH..me not so much with the P.C

my first reaction was **** THAT *****!!

my inner New Yorker wins EVERY TIME!!

now that being said, years ago on a particularly 

depressing and frustrating day

i posted on F.B (before I was really considering surgery)

" I gotta do something, I think I'll get WLS"..

well you think what I said...particular cousins who are negative Nell's

posted oh you'll regret it, I know someone who's miserable, a friends uncles,cousins, brother

died..that's when I knew I'd keep it to myself until after it was done..

I only told 2 BFFs, my sister,  my sister in. Law, 2 cousins who had surgery, and the nite before

my dad...

please don't dwell on what some uneducated, ill informed idiot says..also does she have a weight problem

it may be simple jealousy b/c she hasn't worked up the nerve to do it, or if she's thin then she's talking out her ass cause she can't relate to people with weight issues..