What do you say when....

What is your response when someone says they feel that surgery is the "easy way out".  Not in a disrespectful way nescessarily, but they feel that diet and exercise is a harder route to go.  For some reason this comment from someone I love dearly has really hurt me, and I'm trying to figure out why exactly.  I have made this journey appear too easy to others I suppose...LOL. 

I have been blessed to have no complications and marked success.  I'm not saying it has been extremely difficult either...just not "easy".  Maybe people just don't see the constant struggle of the food addiction we still encounter, all of the changes and sacrifices we make like, not drinking with meals, no carbonation, no sugar (or in small quanitities), minimal food choices, always having to worry about your protein, your supplements, your fluid intake, your vitamins, the constant worry of complications like obstructions or perforations, or having to run to the bathroom due to an "issue".  These things are all forever for me......and that's ok.  I mean looking at this lisst, it is all worth having my health, and hopefully a longer life....and a much more fulfilling life at that, but I wouldn't say it's "easy".  Just wondered what all of you thought.

:) Shelly

Shelly..  I think you answered your own question dear.  It hope that if this comment comes from someone that you love dearly, they will love you enough to be able to hear the same reply you described to us.   You could tell them that you make everything you do look easy but that they need to be aware of what you deal with daily and point out those same things you deal with that you mentioned in your post.  You can also point out that you may have had an "easier" time than some after the surgery but that does not discount your difficulties or other people's difficulties that have traveled this road.   One more suggestion.  Make them a list of your diet and ask them to follow it for 3 days.  That will give them an idea of just how "easy" our lives really are.  Merely "food for thought" Haven

Yah know, comparatively, for me this *has* been easy. 'Course, my journey post-surgery has been super, super easy, but even had I had a few minor complications, I probably would still feel the same way. Much better than the constant not-so-merry-go-round of diet and exercise and suffering and co-morbidities and still getting no where (except bigger). I also happen to be one of the few (I'm told) who's obesity was (for the greatest part) caused by hormonal trouble- I have no eating disorders or food addictions (to speak of), so if I had one or both of those, I might feel differently. Maybe not. However, when normal-sized people think of diet and exercise, I'm of the opinion that it is vastly different than what obese folks think when they say diet and exercise. I think the obese folks' version is generally radically more difficult and extreme (course, this could just be my experience, too). Still, normal sized folks struggle with their version of diet and exercise too, and see very little come out of it, so when they see those of us that are bopping around with no observable troubles and still lose weight, yah, they probably think it is the easy way out to have surgery. I think if I had this comment made to me, since I, myself, really can't argue that it wasn't the easy way out for me, that I would respond by asking them if they walk to work or drive their car? Ride horseback cross country or fly? Use their microwave? Buy their clothes or make them? Why should be be punished for taking the path of least resistance? In every other area of life, people 'take the easy way out'- why should weight loss be any different? Does a pound lost through extreme exercise and dieting weigh any more than a pound lost from malabsorption and/or restriction? Of course not. If nothing else was working, which I assume it wasn't, or we wouldn't have come to this option of last resort, then why shouldn't we utilize our every option- particularly one that works and works well? HTH Brandi 

Dieting for years and years only to weigh more and more was the "hard" way.  Having surgery and steadily losing is the "successful" way......I ask them if that is what they mean??

  A.N.T -- I like your response best!!!!

Perfect response as usual A. N. T.   That would be my response anyway.    In the first place, is it easy to save enough money for all the pre tests and the surgery/hospital in the first place? Is it easy disrupting the family routine and meal times? Is it easy to say no to anything sweet? Nope, never has been, still won't be.   But the rewards..... Tink

I'm saving that one for workThanks. Lunchlady

I know what you mean.  My best friend said the same thing.  I was so hurt.  I asked him what did he think was easy about risking my life, completely altering my body and making a decision to have a surgery that's irreversible and for life.  He didn't have an answer.  I told him if dieting and exercise was the easier way out, then obesity would not be the big problem it is today in America.  If diet & exercise was the easy way out, then I would not have had to make the decision to have surgery.   He's a smoker, which in my personal opinion is a disgusting habit.   I asked him which was the easier way out - death by cigarettes-cancer-COPD or to just quit smoking.  He knew the answer was obvious.   No one can walk a mile in your shoes.  No one's journey is the same.  I was very fortunate to not have any complications and to lose 100+ pounds.  I feel great about myself and I love being able to do the things I couldn't do before because of  my weight.  I'm healthier, I feel & look great and I make no apologies or excuses to anyone for that.  And of course - shut the hell up! is a great response too! :)

Some people are just not educated on Obesity or WLS. If anybody had made it look easy I guess I'm guilty of that. But all I did was follow what my surgeon said. I'm what they call a light weight and went on to lose 116lbs. There truly is nothing easy about it. Those folks that "think" we took the easy way out truly do NOT know the struggles we have gone through with out weight. I don't even try to dignify my surgery to them with a response. Just smile and keep going.

MOM

"Thank you for your support and good wishes!  I appreciate them!" All you really need to say - they'll get the hint