What do you say when....

MyLady Heidi
on 10/19/06 9:00 pm
To quote a dear friend Sherry Weber, who I haven't seen on the boards in ages, I say it was my only way out.  For me this surgery was easy, almost too easy, too easy to get complacent.  I have to remind myself everyday where I came from so I don't go back there.  I still love to eat, I suppose that will never go away, but losing weight is addictive and when that all stops is when I am worried.  But for now I am thriving on losing the last 4 lbs to be normal. Hugs Heidi
Kim C.
on 10/19/06 9:07 pm - Fairport, NY
For me it would depend on how close the friend really is. A close friend would probably already know that you have tried many, many ways and times to lose weight without surgery. Maybe gently reminding them of all those failures. I would tell the person that you feel hurt by what they said. I don't think you can make it look too easy. If you eat with them, they see how much you eat and what you eat. They know you exercise, etc. I can only imagine that if I were 30-50 pounds overweight and struggled to lose or keep it off that I sure would wish there was a surgery I could use to help. This tool does may it easier, in fact for many of us it is the only way possible... Good luck!
Cathy W.
on 10/19/06 9:08 pm
To be morbidly obese and endure all that entails and making the decision to have surgery, pre-testing, the surgery itself, and the adjustments that come post-op is something you have to experience yourself to fully understand.  If this person, or anyone, that hasn't gone through it, they don't fully understand that process.  Thankfully, I haven't had to go through health challenges.  My heart goes out to those that have but since I haven't experienced it myself, I can't fully relate to all that goes on.  Same thing with us.  That's what is so great about ObesityHelp.  We are different people yet the commonality we all share is this journey we have all had.  We're all at different phases of pre-op, newly post-op and long-term post op, however, we understand that process for each other. Congratulations on making it look so easy! Cathy ObesityHelp Support Group Specialist
Lois S.
on 10/19/06 9:24 pm - Neenah, WI
I tell these people a similar story.  I say, "You're right! It was an extremely easy way out! It was so easy to petition insurance companies, pay out thousands of dollars, go through surgery, then change EVERY SINGLE THING about myself and the way that I exist in your world, including the way I look at food, myself, eating habits, exercise, and worst of all, having to explain myself to every Tom, Dick and Harry who tells me I took the easy way out!"  (I've never had to go any futher than that yet!)
Kathy C
on 10/19/06 9:27 pm
The rules of weight loss are the same whether one's had gastric bypass (or other form of surgery) or not. It's still calories in/calories out. Even with surgery, one still has to bust one's butt in terms of healthy eating, exercise, etc. if one wants to lose their weight and keep it off. Early out after surgery, people will pretty much lose weight no matter what they do or don't do, but after a few months, if they don't develop healthy eating/exercise habits and rid of the hurtful ones, they'll be likely to regain the weight they've lost. As for being an easy way out, it isn't.... People die from this surgery, there can be major long term complications, most people feel aweful the first few months out in terms of learning how to eat with the new pouch (as opposed to the old stomach), one can have major health complications if not forever viligant on taking various vitamins/minerals, even years postop eating will never be the same and there will be some days where one can't get or keep anything down, one still has to deal with the issues that led up to their being morbidly obese to begin with, etc... And yes, they still have to diet and exercise the same as those who haven't had the surgery... The surgery is simply a tool and it is anything but a miracle cure. Yes, it can be an affective one, but if not used well and/or abused, one will not be successful in the long run.

@----}-------

345/195/165

Anchor cut Tummy Tuck
with
muscle tightening 6/20/07

 



LunchladyG
on 10/19/06 9:31 pm - Pittsburgh, PA
I'm guilty of saying (about my last attempt at a diet) that I'm doing it the "hard way". I'd eat those words, but......is there any protein in them?Lunchlady
mrbrister
on 10/19/06 10:15 pm - Las Colinas, TX
Well I take a deep breath and communicate to them that the "easy way out" is to do nothing at all. That yes I wish I could have lost my weight in the conventional manner through diet and exercise but alas that just wasn't to be. Then I get quiet and look for their response to see if they really believe WLS is the easy way out or are they really intrigued by the process and looking for answers. It has been said that 80% of what is said has nothing to do with what is said but rather expressed questions wrapped in communicational dialogues. I am fortunate in that I am getting older and quiet frankly those things that used to wrinkle me just don't do so today. I have the belief that we get up each day with a finite amount of energy and we can use it or waste it in helping or hurting people. I simply choose to build my own beliefs internally towards my WLS and use it as a template by which I measure all those things/opinions/inuendos, etc. that may come my way through others. Is it the easy way out? I guess just go to the Memorial Page and identify for what it is, a testimony to the worst outcome any of use has to face as a part of our decision to undertake this WLS journey. I don't know about you, but what is most important to me is what I think not the thoughts of others. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once stated, "All that matters is that which is in you." Good Day, Ron
(deactivated member)
on 10/19/06 10:39 pm - Somewhere Else
It's funny...I've never had anyone say that to me.... If they did, I'm sure I'd respond with...*yup, I sure did, and don't you think it's about time I stopped doing things the hard way?* You know what, for me, this was easy...sorry.... Everyone can take this with a grain of salt......it's not meant to be mean or snotty...just something I have observed all my life, and obviously not just on here..... ----> I also will never understand why so many people get so bent out of shape when someone, who hasn't a clue about what said person is going through, makes silly comments...just ignore it, whether it was meant to be mean or not...*****ally cares what they think?
normajeanrocks
on 10/19/06 11:38 pm - san antonio, TX
I like Pinalope's response...lol
Bill H.
on 10/19/06 10:50 pm - Rapid City, SD
There were a lot of people that were againt me getting WLS.  Like they had a say in what I do.   I had my surgery 3 1/2 weeks ago.  I had an open RNY and had complications with my incision area 11 days out causing a second emergency surgery.   So now, these same people realize that it is not that easy.  On the flip side, I have lost 50 pounds in the matter of 3 weeks which is even beyond what my doc says he expected for me.  
Bill  
348/217/180
Pre-Surgery/Current/Goal
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