What do you say when....

(deactivated member)
on 10/19/06 11:21 pm, edited 10/19/06 11:24 pm - Grass.Shack.by.da'Beach, VA
    I tell 'em "you're right, I'm just smart like that"     .
normajeanrocks
on 10/19/06 11:36 pm - san antonio, TX
I love how people say its the"easy way out" I dunno about all the rest of you guys but this isnt easy. It took some getting use to but here we are, lighter, happier but most of all healthly.....so tell them...
gabriela
on 10/20/06 12:25 am - MI
So if those people think we are taking the easy way out I say SO WHAT?  If it is the easy way out wich in alot of cases it is not and in some it has been easy so what?  Doesnt every human being look for a way of making things easy on our selves?  In my opinion people who say that are just jealous.  Jealous wheather they are obese or not because they know that our obesity was a very hard issue for us and we can get it solved with surgery.  Those people might have some kind of tough issue going on in their life as well and they think its unfair how we supposably solve ours so easly with surgery.  Its like that saying "Misery loves company".  That whole easy way out comment is so stupid.  For example maybe I will go around and ask those who use drive thru why they take the easy way out instead off getting of their car and walking inside to order their meals?  Or why do those who use dishwasher machines take the easy way out instead of standing up for a while and using their hands to hand wash their dishes?  Its human nature to seek a easier way for doing things.  For me those people making those comments are just plain old jealous.  And they dont neet an explaination. 
bambif
on 10/20/06 12:41 am - Kansas City, MO
Hi Shelly, I can honestly say before I did research on this surgery I was in the mind set that WLS was the easy way out too.  Now after looking into it and all the research and all the stuff I have been thru, I don't think it's the easy way out.  I know of many WLS people that at first thought it was the easy way out too.  Just try to educate them on what you do and how you do it.  They will see that it's not an easy way to go about it. take care, Bambi
Rebar2
on 10/20/06 1:04 am
Just try to remember that this person apparently has a very limited frame of reference in this area and is simply ignorant about the realities of obesity and it's treatment. That being said, since this is someone you really care about, try to cut them a little slack....they probably did not mean to be hurtful to you.  Few people say all the right things at all the right times. I frequently suffer from "foot in mouth disease".  For the sake of your relationship, you may just have to let it go and not expect them to ever understand. I also was accused of taking the "easy way out" getting an epidural during child birth.  HA! sincerely, Lisa
margokae
on 10/20/06 1:38 am - oklahoma city, OK
I completely agree................changes and sacrafices!!! not an easy journey by no means.  Every opportunity I get, I try and let folks know...this was "not the easy way out" as people might think.  But I wouldn't trade the journey.
Judy_In_Wisconsin
on 10/20/06 5:03 am - Green Bay, WI
I asked my shrink how to handle this with a guy I work with. She said to ask him: How exactly does this concern you? And restate that over and over until it gives up. A rude question deserves a rude answer/question...or a slap like A.N.T said...LOL
Sarah Joy
on 10/20/06 5:47 am - Hawthorne, CA
My mind goes all over the place with this.  Firstly "Yes, success is always easier than failure, isn't it?" In my mind, losing weight with surgery is easier than losing weight with out it, so ignoring all of the issues outside of that, it is the easy way out.  WIth that in mind: "So what, it was a way out, and I took it." "Why do it the hard way?  Are you walking to work today, because I'm driving..." And, on a someone unrelated, somewhat related note; My fiance was very supportive of my idea to get surgery.  Not that he wanted me to have it, but he wanted me to do whatever I thought would make me happy.  But it wasn't until a couple of weeks ago that he had any frame of reference for what I go through.  He was a pot smoker and just gave it up a few months ago, and we were talking about that.  And he said that after a bad day, he liked to smoke some because it made him relax, and kind of block out the day.  I said "That's why I weighed 280 lbs."  And he said "Eating makes you feel relaxed and block out bad feelings?"  He had no idea.  I've compared obesity to alcoholism before, and he's agreed with me, but he either didn't really agree and was just putting me on, or didn't see the connection as being as deep as it is.  It was interesting.
Sarah Joy

Lap Band 7/2/04
280/210/140~160

kevphill
on 10/20/06 1:37 pm - MI

I'm generally a very nasty person when it comes to someone attcking my principals. especially when it comes to something as serious as my WLS.

I've been down this road a couple of times and the conversation takes a bad turn right after I set my heals and take a big breath,,,,,

"I appreciate your concern for my moral fibre. However, after agonizing over this decision for nearly a year I decided to risk my life and have the surgery. I would rather die on my own terms. Now I know everything has come easy for you and you can't possibly understand that if I don't lose the weight and I mean right now, I will be dead before my youngest gets out of elementary school. Sorry, I'm bent on being a pain in the ass to both my kids when they are adults and I have retired. So if you feel the need to offer me any other advice on my life feel just as free to keep it. If you want to support me while I go through it thank you. I doubt you have the gumption to do that because it would be easier to ignore me on the way down as you did on the way up and that is after all what we are talking about,,,, the easy way out. Right?" That is a conglomeration of the four times I have had that remark thrown my way. Each one was a little nastier than the one before. Two were actually after I had the WLS. I think they meant well but,,,,,Lucky for me they were of no significance to me so when they disappeared and "took the easy way out" of our relationship it was a win win situation. Now, that's just me. I am a take no prisoners kind of person. Good luck with your dilema. It's a tough one. kp

"Go sell crazy somewhere else; we're all stocked up here."
Ms Understood
on 10/20/06 2:09 pm - NM
I agree this is not an easy way out,  there is no easy way out for the obese. I am so tired of hearing that "You just need to eat right and excercise more". \    So what if it is the easy way out? Don't MO people deserve something easy in thier lives? I think that obese people are treated the wost in our society. Fat jokes are still ok. People assume things before they ever know you based on your weight.      Lately since this whole "war on obesity" thing has been in the media, it seems as if there is even more hatred for MO people.  WE are not harming anyone else with our fat, but by the way the media acts, we should all be gathered up and stuck in concentration (fat) camps. Being "fat" does not harm anyone but the "fat" person. No one has ever gotten cancer from second hand  "fat". No one has ever been killed by someone because they were driving  "fat".  But everybody seems to have much more compassion for the alcoholics, smokers and drug addicts.  I am tried of the contempt reserved for "fat" people. I wish there was an "easy way out". No one tells the people who have plastic surgery that they took the easy way out and shold have learned to be happy the way they are, so why does it have to be any different for WLS??                                                                                       Whew, sorry about the rant, just had to get that out.
×