(OT) HELP! our cat is driving me nuts!

I have noticed that there are a lot of cat lovers here on OH, so I come here begging for help. We cant keep our cat from hell of the table, or the kitchen counters. Since my wife wont let me kill it, or drive it far out into the country, I was praying that one of you could help. Keep in mind this is no ordinary cat. I have had many cats in the past, and this one is "special". We dont let this cat out of the house for fear that our neihbors will burn our house down. even the dog stays away now for long periods of time, only coming home to eat, and let us know he is still alive. I cant put my finger on what is differant about this cat. can cats and mountain lions breed each other? I was also wondering if they make strait jackets for cats, not that i could find anyone brave enough to put it on her. the other day i sneaked up on her and poked her with a stick to scare her, and all she did was turn her head slowly, and stare at me, soooo creepy. Peace Buzzerd

LOL My cat is pretty much insane too, he doesn't go out and he really doesnt care I had surgery on Wednesday he still wants to be fed at 5:30am every day.  Gesh you would think he would have a tiny bit of compassion seeing as I look so scary with the drain things hanging off me.  But I love him all the same and I still do pry myself out of bed and feed him.  I have no advice about keeping him off the counters, I hear if you spray them with water that helps but I bet the minute you leave for work hes back up there anyway.  I just gave up and admitted my cat is in charge of my world not the other way around, the quicker you admit to it the faster you can get on with your life.  Someone suggested a playmate for my cat once, I nearly shot that person, 2 of those cats in the house would probably push me over the edge. Hugs Heidi

You might try a mouse trap, naw just kidding, Try her with a water bottle every times you see her were she doesn't belong.

HAHAHA Allright dont everyone start hating me all at once, but i have tried using a mouse trap on the table. all it did was make me giggle.

I used moused traps under a blanket to some years back to train my dogs to stay off the couch and it worked.  Donna

Hey!  Long time, no see!  You've been missed.   Now, about that lil cutie...  did you raise it from a newborn or did it wander down from that old Indian burial ground that the kids call the Pet Cemetary?     Anyway, we gave our house to the five cats who live in it.  We only exist to support them...  they like it that way and feel that is the way life should be.  We've adjusted.  

LOL I was thinking the same thing...maybe his cat is Church's twin from Pet Semetary! (avid Stephen King fan here....weeeee)

Howdy fellow King fan    A funny side bar story..... I was laying in bed reading pet semetary and my pocket knife kept falling out of my pocket, so i put it on my chest and forgot about it. when i got to the part in the book where the man wakes up with church sitting on his chest, the knife slid off my chest scaring the crap out of me. I screamed like a little girl LOL

LOL I would have paid to see that!

I use a squirt bottle and when they attempt to get on counter I squirt them and eventually they register that when they do that they get zapped,,,course you have that percentage that are smart enuff to know that when no one is there they can do it....and the smug look their face lets you know that THEY ARE IN CHARGE