Divorce after Weight Loss Surgery. Why?

When you realize that the statistics for divorce are EXACTLY THE SAME after weight loss surgery as they are without weight loss surgery, you will realize that it's nothing to worry about. Well, unless you're like me who make it a point to try to help people keep their marriages intact. I worry about ALL marriages that get into trouble for whatever reason and try to help couples work it out when it can be.

So yeah. It's a tempest in a teapot, really. But because ZOMG! YOU had WLS! That must be WHY you're DIVORCING! (Satan, get behind me!) And all that stuff is just bunk. In America, 50% of marriages fail. Period. After WLS, 50% of marriages fail. Period. End of quotation.

About 50% of WLS patients wind up getting divorced.

So do 50% of all married people in this country.

I wish someone could actually direct me to an actual study quoting actual statistics. I have heard the divorce rate is higher for WLS patients. But again, I cant ever find an actual study. Do you know of one?

They aren't "throwing away" their marriages!!!  I'm still a pre-op but I can tell you the people were NOT happy before their weight loss surgery either but having it made them stronger people and made them see the light so to speak and feel hopeful about their future again! It's a good thing!! Basically if your marriage had cracks in it they will be blown wide open once the other person is stronger and more confident.

 I had a 14 year marriage to a man who preferred me fat and sick...his words......even though he watched me battling one MRSA infection after another, have to leave a professional position I loved because of my poor health, and very seriously face an early grave.  Neither of us could believe where we ended up.    I changed many fundamental things about myself.......self-care.....eating....exercise......and he said he wasn't able to change.......so I had no choice.   It was either my marriage or my long term health.    I chose.    No regrets.    Susan

Nobody throws away a good marriage. At the pre op meetings I facilitate we tell patients that good, strong marriages remain strong, those on shaky ground have a chance of not making it. You have to remember some people change a lot with the weight loss. For many other issues come into play. Some patients get more active but some spouses/families don't want to participate in the new healthier lifestyle. Some patients aren't married to the right person to begin with and the strains and stresses erode the relationship and they break up. It happens. The latest figures I read showed the divorce rate for post op wls patients is the same as the general population. There's no more divorce among post op wls patients or post op heart patients than any other group of people.

I seriously doubt people are 'throwing' away long, healthy marriages. I'm sure divorce is thought about, contemplated, cried over, devastated over, etc. I'm sure people think they will be happier on their own then in their current marriage.

I've heard 50% of post wls marriages and I've heard 50% of marriages end in divorce, so I'm not too worried about it. I would never blame my wls, if I get divorced its because of me or hubby.

My WLS surgeon warned me that if there are marital problems before WLS, they will only get worse after the surgery.  He was right.  I'm not getting a divorce, but we are very unhappy, and my husand was NOT supportive of my having RNY.  He said I was selfish for wanting it when he was "OK" with how I looked (I did NOT have the surgery because of the way I looked - I had it to save my life since I was dying a slow death with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, pre-diabetes, daily chest pain, shortness of breath, etc).  He liked me better when I was fat, frumpy, and just ate my feelings away so I didn't both him.  He does NOT like me thin.  He makes faces all the time at the way I look.  He doesn't want me to wear makeup.  He'll never say I look nice.  The only thing he likes is that I am more agile in bed.

I reached 150 lbs lost yesterday, and he was not even happy for me.