Are you stalled? Plateaued? Gained a few?

One thing I have always seen here on OH and other WLS sites is people lamenting their plataeus, stalls and "Why isn't the surgery working for me?".   People wondering "Is their WLS 'broken'" People depressed, morose or any other problem (body dismorphia).  I cannot speak for why they had WLS , but I can speak for why *I* did, and why it was already siucessful a long time ago...

It is simple. (And oh so very honest) I truly had WLS for my health. I cared less how "skinny" I got, I could have cared less about a nulmber on a scale, I wanted to feel better. My family has seen me fight ovarian cancer, two types of autoimmune disease and a host of other medical problems (As well as being wheelchair bound and having to use a mobility service dog).

My husband married me "thin" and healthy (when I was active duty in the Air Force) and watched me each year get heavier from Prednisone and steroid treatments and lack of mobility. He watched me take 4 narcotics and 10 medications a DAY just to survive, and he knew I was miserable...(Being "skinny" had nothing to do with it for me...It was being in EXTREME pain and literally dying that made me want to do WLS). I was told by two doctors (A Rheumatologist and an Endocronologist) that I had a mere 5 years to live. My Adrenals were shot, my blood sugar was at the borderline of diabetes, and my autoimmune disease was flaring uncontrollably. It was the last straw for me. Litrally. What do you do, when told you are going to die? ANYTHING you do can only be better (or end it quickly).

I told my husband bluntly bluntly,  "If I was going to die, I would die either way...within 5 years or less from complications of being morbidly obese and all the medications and side effects...OR, if I died on the table, it would be quick and painless..."  Again, he wasn't thrilled (Who would be? Seeing a loved one suffer so?) But he understood at a logical level of WHY it had to be done.

He attended all the seminars, spoke to the surgeon and read a lot of research and sites (such as this one). He knew I was having the surgery with or without his support...I needed the surgery to live. He decided to do as he as always done for 25+ years and give me support.

And he supported me indeed...I didn't expect him to change his eating habits or stop eating something because I couldn't... (Why should I ask him that?) But he realized then that this surgery wasn't just "cosmetic" but as important as Open heart surgery to someone who needs a new heart or cardiac bypass.

Just 2 months after the surgery he and I both considered it a sucess just after a 40 lb loss... After all I did NOT (repeating this a million times) did NOT have this surgery to "be thin" or to "be a certain weight"... But to be HEALTHY... I have achieved that goal a hundred times over. Anything else (a loss of weight on the scale, or clothing sizes going down) is merely icing on the cake... It is not a necessity and this is why I have never had the scale obsession or body dismorphia... Because "LOOKING" a certain way never bothered me. This is  why I have NEVER had any depression about the surgery (Or worried about 'eating too much') or post op.. For me, It was always about the extreme pain of dis-ease.

Even if I died tomorrow...I would have had a year that I LIVED, truly LIVED more better than I have in the last 20 years! I have enjoyed the fresh air, my pain level has went from a 9-10 (daily...Imagine someone constantly physically torturing you) to a near 0.  I am off 10 of my 13 prescription meds. I am in cancer remission and my autoimmune disease is in remission (for now).

PRE-Op, the pain was so bad I was seriously and honestly considering suicide,  simply to escape the extreme pain . When you get THAT desperate to be healthy anything is better! Anything!  Within the first 30 lb loss of pre-surgery liquid diet I was already feeling better than I had in over 10 years!

I don't know what your co-morbidities are...People need to realize that this is NOT cosmetic surgery but a chance for you to live again (especially if you have serious medical problems). If you are truly doing WLS to be a certain "number" on the scale, or a certain clothing size... You will not be happy... If you are doing this surgery hoping it will help you STOP "overeating" you will NOT be happy...If you are doing this surgery to LOOK good, you will not be happy. (Loose skin is never pretty! ha-ha) But IF you are doing this surgery to LIVE and be healthy and to start over (so to speak)...IF you are ready to make committments to being healthy than this surgery (WLS) will be indeed a miracle.

From someone who was in a wheelchair, who took 13 prescription medications, who was ready to commit suicide because of the constant physical pain of my illnesses...I HAVE suceeded! I am only on 4 medications, I can walk 5-6k comfortably and ENJOY it! I have went to the gym and put on healthy muscle and most importantly I am LIVING now...Connected to all around me and enjoying life each and every day. For me that is what I wanted WLS to do, and that is what it has done.

I wish ALL of you the best journey of all!
Warmly,
Jackie

Wow Jackie,  very well said honey,  I am so happy for you.    I agree with everything you said,  i was in pretty bad shape,  maybe not quite as bad as you but i was definately on my way there.   I did this to get off my meds,  to be able to live life pain free and to be around for a while for my daughter.   Like you i already consider myself a success because i am off all meds and pain free now.  This has been such a miracle in my life,   a gift i will forever be grateful for.   And looking good is a nice plus.   Being healthy is the miracle.   I'm so glad we have this chance at a better life.   Thanks for sharing your story ,  very inspirational  :o) jeani

Thanks for the post, just reaffirmed why I had the surgery.

I didn't have many co-morbides but i was genuinely concerned for the future.

I too have had a great year.

I'm so glad you are doing well.

Congratulations

Janice

Well said !!!!  Congrats on getting where you are and LIVING life....

I can SO relate!

Thanks for a great post. I can't wait to get rid of the pain this weight is causing and hopefully to improve my asthma as well. Both my parents had heart disease and one had diabetes. I know that will be me if I don't do this. So, yeah, if it helps your health no matter weight you wind up, then it is a success.

Thank you Jackie for your awe inspiring story!! Thank you for reminding me of what is truly important!!

 Yours  is a beautiful inspiring story Jackie  .   But  I don't think its a crime  to want to  look , good  wear a smaller  dress size ,be more mobile  and  attractive ... or to have WLS  for reasons other than "  health " .

And yes , I  think U  CAN be VERY happy  post op  with the results  ...  I know I am .   My life is  a thousand times  better ..  I have hope  .. I  am trying  for my dreams again .   What's wrong  with that?  Should I have been madeto wait until half my life was over and I was on the brink of disaster to get the lifesaving surgery I obviously needed ?    I don't think so ... 

Wonderful post!!!  You spoke so many things that are in my heart.

Looking better is a secondary benefit.

Jackie, thank you for sharing.

Once a person came on either here on the Main Board, or on the RNY board and I remember them saying that "anyone who says they had WLS for their health is a liar," and they went on to talk about all the threads about going down in size, about riding rollercoasters, about this that or the other cosmetic thing.

I remember the sparks flying from some of the posters.

For me, SURE I fantasized about being a thin person, but that wasn't a large enough reason to get all rearranged in my guts. I was very self-confident in who I was, and I did not feel like I should get WLS to get thin. It was only when I realized how it would cure my comorbidities that it suddenly became an option.

After a year, I was still 30+ pounds from my goal weight, but I was pleased a*****h (my major co-morbidity was cured instantly by RNY so it was a success before I lost an ounce) I didn't care if I lost another ounce. It was great being where I was. I certainly wasn't going to exercise more or eat less to get to a lower weight.

Still not sure how I lost an additional 40 pounds after I reached "mainotenance" and Yeah, it's been awesome looking better and buying clothes in a real store, etc. But ultimately..... the health benefits of having the surgery outweighed the health risks of having it or of not having it.