Assertiveness and personal boundary setting

Absolutely, please do ignore or block me if that fits your needs!

I believe finigan was correct in this,  If this were an argument ( by the informal logic/critical thinking definition of such) You might be able to point out inherent fallacies because of the way she stated what she stated above. I'd have to go through the list of fallacies to be certain. Since I'm betting you will not respond to this, I won't waste my time....However, I am not seeing any ad hominiem action here from finigan.  However- to no one in particular, I'm sure.... your statements that your opponents were playing "cheaply" and "not with a full deck" would both be absolutely ad hom. in nature.

As has been pointed out already, in going through the threads and reading the ad hom. comments about your breasts looking better than another members and the comments I quoted above, it would seem that the one pulling out a.h. attacks first in each thread seems to be..... you.  You have presented repeated vague accusations that this oh so upsetting behavior is being perpetrated on you first, by PM and in the threads, but so far I do not see that much evidence that it has. If I am missing something in any thread that contradicts this.  Please share it.  It says much about you that in your description of the AH attack you have not addressed your own documented use of this 'bullying' technique. 

  So far YOU have disparaged someones physical appearance as less than yours and stated others were playing cheaply and not with a full deck- In any of these threads that you have participated in...has anyone else ever struck first?  Or is it always you first out of the gate with the personal attack? You asked some interesting questions earlier about defining boundaries and assertiveness... but I am not sure you really want to listen to anyone but yourself.

edited for snark content, syntax and spelling....

 Ya'll used up all the words I wanted to use :)

... and you yourself have participated in (actually initiated I should say) ad hominem attacks on me (as I pointed out in another post of yours) so I have room to talk when I call bull**** on your application of your philosophy when it comes to yourself.

You cannot cry bully when you purposely poke a hornets nest. You are a very active participant in the perceived negativity, and it appears you keep it going as it gives you some sort of moral superiority boost that you apparently feel you need.

 This is the Holy Grail, isn't it?   What helps me now, or has helped in the past:  Meditation (sitting and observing my physical and emotional reactions, cravings, pounding heart, etc. and just trying to ride it); doing a Fourth Step on my part in it (my reactions, my impatience, my judgment, etc.); deep breathing, visualizing sending love and compassion; visualizing myself in a bubble so the negative energy bounces off; reading a recovery book (I have several that are go-to books); calling someone; journaling.   I'm getting better at confronting people in healthy ways, but I still have a lot of fear about doing that in a way that doesn't alienate people - especially people I work with or care about.  We are all a work in progress.  

 I'd love it if you shared the books you like best. I have & love tons of "self help" books, current fav is The Happiness Trap - based in MINDFULNESS but leading to action based on values, I love it.

www.amazon.com/Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Start-Living/dp/159 0305841/ref=sr_1_1

Physician Harris challenges some basic assumptions about the all-American tradition of the pursuit of happiness, drawing heavily on the acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) work of University of Nevada professor Steven Hayes, which argues that happiness is not a normal state of being; pain is inevitable and what matters is how it is dealt with. The ACT prescription is to be mindful of negative thoughts and emotions, reconnect with core values, act in accordance with values and with the psychological flexibility to adapt to any situation. ACT techniques include diffusion—decreasing the impact of self-defeating thoughts (without making them go away), turning off the struggle switch, practicing expansion to make room for self-observation and connecting with the present moment. While these concepts might sound like typical self-help fare, Harris makes key distinctions: ACT is not a form of meditation or a path to enlightenment—to reap the benefits, action is imperative. More of an ACT primer than anything else, there's enough interesting content here to keep the reader, um, happy. 

 dern tootin'

Amen!

Minds are like parachutes- they only function when open.