Going out tonight, husbands mad

Amen.

Agreed.

A suggestiion of what's to come.

I agree with Lynn N.

I've seen people slide down that slippery slope, lose their homes, break up their families, lose the respect of their friends and community. It is NOT worth it. What you are doing is exactly how it starts.

If he doesn't go, neither should you.

The occasional bachelorette party is one thing, but seriously how often does that happen?

Girlfriends go shopping together, get their nails done, go to a spa, go to the movies, go to lunch. There are plenty of things you can do with your girlfriends that don't involve drinking around strange men. Invite them over to your house for drinks if that is what you like to do with them. It is not like you have to give up your friends. But, you are not single and so should not do single girl things with them.

You are a married lady and should act like one if you want to stay that way.

You are how old? It's ok to meet your girlfriends for dinner and drinks. I'm married not dead.

Younger, yet wiser than you. Obviously.

Dinner that includes drinks, sure. Dinner that includes hanging out at a bar or night club, not so much.

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   What is this, 1962?  Yeah and look how well THAT turned out.  

She's married, not dead!  

Someone who is insecure is going to find SOMEthing to be insecure about no matter what.  The problem is the insecurity, not the going out with the girls, f'goodness sakes!  

You haven't lost the weight yet.  You probably believe that YOU won't change when you do.  That's a delusion.  It isn't just about the numbers on the scale and the size tags on our clothes.  For most of us, we walk differently, doors open for us and we smile at the door opener, we've stopped being invisible, we even cross our legs and look sexy for the first time in a long time. 

Guy**** on us--sometimes we "get it," sometimes we're like me...duh.  (Colleague in a room full of clients whispered something like, "Let me know when you're available, okay?"  And I--in full idiot mode and having just looked at my schedule, said, something like, "I have some free time around 10:00...should I block out 15 minutes...30...what do you need?"  And he looked VERY confused.  He didn't MEAN a few minutes of time during the work day...he meant "available"...lol)

Sometimes our spouses know us better than we know ourselves.  He may "know" based on his years of observing, that there IS something he should be concerned about...even if she doesn't.  There was a time when I was SURE that my husband had a secret second family and whole other life because he was acting different.  Turns out that office scuttlebutt was that his then office was on the chopping block and that we were going to have to pull up the roots we had just put down and move back to where we came from.  He didn't tell me because he wasn't even aware that he was worried about it.

We've been married for 38 years...there are a couple of years I don't even want to THINK about...but most of the time, we pay enough attention to the other one to know when something just isn't right. 

If the OP has been going out with the same girlfriends forever and it's never bothered him before, but now it does...there is a reason...and it might not just be his fear of what she might do.  It might be that he is "reading" her better than she is reading herself.

They need to come to consensus before she upsets him further.

(And I *DO* go out with girlfriends...even with my psycho friend who decided that a bunch of us ought to go to a freakin' BIKER BAR at the beach...but the hubster knew and knew that there would not be a problem and was only concerned that we had a designated driver.)

I don't think some of the posters here have lived long enough, or lived through enough, to know how true your words are in this post.

 

Ah, the "if they only knew what I knew, they'd agree with me" argument.

Except I'm pretty sure I'm as old as you (if not older) and I have lived through a tremendous amount. Plus I have lost my weight and I do now how that does and doesn't change people.

Yet I still don't agree with you.