Going out tonight, husbands mad

Sounds like there are trust issues there that go deeper than just a night out with the girls. So thankful my SO is not the jealous type. I like going out with my girlfriends from time to time (once a month, if that) and he trusts me completely, as I do him. Otherwise we would not be together. Period.

Laura

VERY interesting thread indeed. Really? Are we that weak of creatures that we can not control ourselves or be trusted when we are no with our SO? Just 2 weeks ago I went to a bar with a girlfriend. We had a blast and my husband loves when I come home after a little buzz--there are usually benefits that follow. Or is this okay because I am still fat? Once I lose the weight I should "not be allowed" to have a break from my life as a mother, wife, teacher, business owner, taxi driver, tear wiper, toilet washer? Really? Absurd.

Now I do think it is important to balance everything. I do not think it is wise to close the bar, come home sloppy, act single, or make foolish choices. But have fun? YES! I have fun with my friends--the last thing I want to do is talk to a man when I go out. I go out to get away from everything...Not add to my chaotic life.

Tell your husband next Saturday you want him to get dressed up, take him to a movie or dancing, or for a drink. Also, make him take care of his friendships too! Encourage him to go watch a game in a sports bar with buddies or go play a round of golf. LOL. (My husband skateboards, I am not sure what other husbands do--I assume, golf and football.)

You are not "bad" for needing a break. Hope you went out and had fun!

 I think the major difference between your situation and the OP's, is that her husband doesn't love her going out.  So your advice to her is to ignore her SO's concerns, which may lead to bigger issues down the road? 

I don't think that was her advice at all. I'm not ignoring the fact he doesn't like me going out, I'm just trying to figure out the best way top deal with it. Everyone has insecurities, some people more than others.

Thanks Jade, I feel like you do. I deserve to enjoy my friends from time to time, I'm not awful because of that, I went out when I was far, I go out now that I'm skinny. Really no difference to me.

I'm not sure anyone would dispute that moms need breaks. The problem may be with what are appropriate beaks, and partying at bars seems to be where some have issues. 

I personally know people, that after WLS started going out with girlfriends to bars to relive some fun they had missed being obese and young parents, and ended their marriages and families directly because of this. It helps keep things in perspective for me. I have even quit using Starbucks for the free internet, since it seems to be the new "meet market", and I'm really not looking for temptation.

Wow, sounds like you'll end up cocooned in your home. And, btw I'm not easily tempted.

And the fact that you would get "you'll end up cocooned in your home" out of my post, makes me pretty sure you are indeed just talking about partying in bars in the original post. There is tons of stuff to do around here that is more fun than hanging out with a bunch of drunk people, and I actually enjoy having my hubby along for most things. If I needed to get away from him, I'd just cut him loose and do my own thing.

But good luck to you on the partying with girlfriends thing. I have yet to see a marriage that it has strengthened.

"But good luck to you on the partying with girlfriends thing. I have yet to see a marriage that it has strengthened."

So true! We see it all the time on OH. I love how everyone thinks that it won't happen to them--they are somehow so damn special and strong and magical, unlike the rest of the losers here. Just wait and watch her future posts. Sadly, the usual pattern will emerge in the next few months.

To the OP--if these are your good buds, then maybe they will love it if you and your kids move in with them after your marriage dissolves. Then just THINK of all of the party time you guys will have together when you're living in their basement!  

Get your head on straight. Put your marriage first. If your husband is uncomfortable with something, you should listen more carefully to what he is saying, instead of trying to find fault with him or "wiggle room" for your behavior. It doesn't matter what any of us say, HE is the one you agreed to partner for life. HIS feelings should be respected. When you finally get to goal and get "skinny", HE will be the one there for you, same as the day you went into surgery. These friends who like to party and flirt with guys will NOT be there for you in the same way he will. Try and talk to HIM more about this. Invite him out with you, etc.

I suspect you will hear what you want to hear at this point...

Nicolle

Nicole, please re-read my original post.....now read yours, any correlation?