guilt

well my son in law got home from the hospital last night and i was shocked that he came nocking at my door. He wanted me to see he was ok yes hes ok but he tells me the heart spasm was a heart attack wow at 25 scary and i cant help but thimk i should of had him go to the hospital sooner he came to me i checked his blood presure his pulse etc. he did look pale thought he seemed to be havining anxiity so made him lay down on my coach for a while and had him stay calm when he woke up he was feeling better. The doctor dont know what caused it could of been a virus but now his heart is damaged from it. Thank you ladys for your support and kindness. I go see my surgeon for an endoscope on the 20 that and the money for the surgeon is all i need to do for my surgery. They called me to schedule the surgery said it uassally takes two monthes to get in but i need the money first . I told them i thought they were waiting for the endoscope they said they wanted to go ahead and shedule witch would be nice but i wont have the money till first of feb. And im not telling my daughter that the surgery may come around the time the baby comes ive been listen to her stress about me not being there for the birth and to help for awhile and with everything else ill just wait and see. Loretta

Please take care of yourself first before others. Your family needs you around for the long haul. You need you around for the long haul.

Sorry about your SIL's heart attack- 25 is very young.

im trying to i think its my daughters way of telling me shes scared of me having the surgery, Im scared to but im doing this so I can be healthier. Thank you its so nice to have people to talk with. Loretta

Loretta,
I know how difficult it is as a mother to put yourself first.  It is almost not a natural feeling... But we must.  I had the LapBand put in when my daughter was 1.  I knew that it was not the right surgery for me, but it was the 'safe' surgery and because of my daughter I went ahead with it.  It worked for me for a while and then after a few years I started having issues.  When I started the quest for the DS... I was again worried about my daughter who was 6 at the time... I thought again if it was the right thing... because of her... but I realized what we all have to realize and that is that we are doing this for ourselves but also for our family... so we can be around for the long haul... I hope this helps a little... We worry for our kids no matter what the age...
Good Luck!

thank you so much for this i so much wanted to hear from some one with young kids and how they dealt with being scared. I have children of all ages from 20 to 2 and they all still need me lol they never completly grow up. Plus i adopted strays but there mine now and need me to. Not to mention my animals i know sounds weird but when i was in the hospital giving birth for a week i made my kids bring the dogs to the hospital to see me. yes after being in labor for two days i walked out in the snow in those awful gowns to see my dogs. My pom peed all over me really didnt go well he missed me . sorry i know off subject but just was thinking about it.