Alcoholism After Gastric Bypass

Are you talking about smoking pot? It's inhaled and absorbed in the lungs and into the blood stream - how and why would RNY have any effect on that? If you're eating it, you're likely getting less effect from it as it's not breaking down as much as it passes through the gut. I don't see at all how the effects of pot could be greater or different after RNY.

I just can'****ch that show, I feel sick for the family members who are begging these people to get help and they flat out refuse.  Who helps people that don't have hordes of family members to chase them around and beg them to get cleaned up?  I guess they just end up dead.  The selfishness of these people makes me sick, I felt guilty every single minute I was a fat mom to my son, it caused a serious eating disorder to try to get myself under control.  I never stole money, or risked my sons life by doing drugs or alcohol to try to find a way out.  You have kids, ******g step up and stop being a selfish asshole and take care of them.  And that message is meant for the world, all the dead beat parents, all the losers who have kids and then make every excuse in the book not to take care of them, or when they abuse them.  Really my mother did lots of **** to me, said lots of things, her parenting style was wrong in my opinion, did I do any of it to my kid. FUCK NO, I never told him I bought his clothes so he wore what I said.  I let him pick out his own things as long as they were seasonally correct, I never told him he couldn't bleach his hair or get an earring or do any of the million activities he wanted to do.  I wanted him to not have to endure feeling one ounce of sadness for being made fun of or mocked and it distroyed me when at his 8th grade graduation one of his friends made a comment about my weight.  I renewed my efforts to lose weight and did maintain a lose for some time because I didn't want to be an embarassment.  I hate people who make excuses for every little ******g thing thats wrong with their life and blame it on someone else and then start doing drugs to cope.  Really?  Thats the society we have become.  No thanks.  I want NO part of it.

 Heidi -

I think it's that a lot of it is just that we can now SEE IT because it can be published.  It's always been there -- always happening -- but now we watch it via reality shows, etc.  We see more of people's real lives than ever before.  Secrets are no longer.

Perhaps but I still hate selfish people, my own father walked away when I was a small child and he didn't think living 10 miles away but ignoring my existance would have any impact on my life?  It didn't make me a drunk or druggie to cope with the pain, it made me want to never cause that pain, it makes me do all the stupid things I do for my son that no one else would just so my son can know one person loves him unconditionally forever.  It's not easy for me, to be alone and have to take care of everything myself, I have a panic disorder, it rules my life sometimes and I cry myself to sleep more then I am willing to admit because I feel unable to cope.  But you know what I do instead of resorting to drugs or alchohol, I sit myself down and say STEP ******G UP, your son depends on you and you have to get your act together and stop.  Believe me there are times I want to hide in bed and never come out but I continue to push myself even when its hard.  Not because its fun or I want to its because I am a responsible adult with a child.

I have NO sympathy for drug or alcohol abusers or anyone who hides behind an excuse for not trying to change.  I know addiction, I lived with a compulsive gambler for years and now that gene is passed to my son.  It kills me everyday thinking my son may go down that same path of destruction and while I try to intervene now I won't always be here to do it. 

Addicts are selfish indeed.  However, people who were raised (or abandoned by) addicts typically fall into one of two patterns.  Addiction or co-dependency.  They are opposite sides of the same coin.  Both can be very destructive.  And both are passed on from generation to generation unless help is sought to understand the ill-thinking, heal from the trauma, and learn how to act rather than react.  To refer to it as a "gene" is an over-simplification.  Sick people (addicts and codependents) model that behavior and that is what is passed on.  That is why co-dependents subconsciously choose addicts.  We may say we won't ever marry an alcoholic and then find ourselves married to a gambling or porn addict.  It is what we know.  It is called trauma reenactment.  We don't know what "healthy" looks like.  We instead are drawn to what we know really well...DYSFUNCTION.  and we will repeat that mistake over and over unless we seek help. 

BTW... food addictions are just as insideous and costly as alcohol addictions.  Look at the cost of obesity on the health care system. 

I met my ex husband when I was 16, the first time he saw me he said he was going to marry me, I was young and stupid to marry at 20.  No co-dependency about it, I had no idea he was a gambling addict for many many years because it was so well hidden.  When it got super bad, I divorced the mother ****** and told him to go **** in his hat.  That didn't make him too happy.  I don't tolerate bull**** from men ever.  The only man in my life that I tolerate anything from is my son and I refuse to allow him to go down the path of becoming a compulsive gambler without having to deal with me first.  What happens when I am dead is something I cannot control.

Not everyone is a walking statistic, you choose the person you become and model what you think is good and right.  I have extremely high standards for myself and will never lower them for anyone.

Well OK then.

The comment Opposie Sides of the Same Coin rang true and really hit home for me, I know many people who fall into this catagory. Thanks for the clarification. It really makes me see
why they are the way they are. Food for thought and I thank you for posting.
Jen 10 yrs post op.

Thanks Heidi that was very well said. I'm glad I read your opinion today - what you said has a lot of truth. For me when I became a parent all selfishness regarding myself went out the window. Now it was time for me to be a parent and not worry about me. His needs came first, that was
my job when I took the MOM title. Hope others heed your words today - lots of truth. Thanks.
Jen 10 yrs post op

This is a very important post.

I walked that slippery slope and ended up almost slipping.

I stopped 100% several weeks ago and could not be happier. I am just now regaining the energy that I did not even realize I lost during it all... and sleeping better, which was a shock for me because my worst fear was that my "glass or so" of wine a night was helping me sleep and I did not know how I would deal with that.

To be clear and not in denial, however, the "glass or so" of wine mentioned above was MOST nights... sometimes it was a LOT more.

Like the last time I drank........

.......I fell HARD while I was home alone. I landed on the floor, upper arm on the steel ridge of the shower. I laid there for hours until I could move. I hurt my arm so bad that I thought I broke it (turns out, according to my Dr., that breaking it would have been less painful than what I did).

I have no intention of starting to drink again and do not consider myself an alcholic. After the first few nights, I did not even miss it. Having spent most of my adult life as a non to moderate drinker, I feel more normal and "like me" now.

... but it was a real eye opener about transfer addiction.

Now I crave chips night and day.. but that is a different story and so far, so good on that one!

Thanks as always for keeping us eductaed and informed Beth.