Relationships and WLS

Hey all, just had a question about relationships (with significant other) and WLS. I know WLS changes many relationships as some feel as though they were settling or underlying issues. So I was just wondering...


Did anyone go through counseling with their significant other pre WLS? Did it help? Did you evaluate your relationship before surgery? How did you deal with the ups and downs if and when they arised?

Thanks

Pre-op Psych evaluation I learned that if you have problems w/your relationship priop to wls, you will have problems after wls. There are those relationships that get better because of supposed libido increase. My experience is this: Any problems me and my hubby have now were the same as before wls. We have no issues due to the wls in our relationship. The only exception being is a decrease in my libido. I still don't turn him down if he wants sex, however, I don't initiate it. I have recently learned that I am not the only woman that has this experience after wls. It has alot to do with the loss of hormones stored in fat. We are losing the fat so there is a decrease in hormones. Not saying this is true for all wls patients but, it's a possibility.

Statistics show if going into wls with a cracked relationship, it will break. I would say preop therapy would help you decide if you need to end your current relationship or give you the tools needed to survive the WLS rollercoaster.

I am preop but we are going to counseling and have discussed the issue a LOT because the last time I lost 80 lbs he had issues with it. He always wanted me to lose weight but when I did he felt insecure. He felt that I would get skinny and figure out he was the loser he sees himself as. Mind you I have never seen him as a loser. I have an amazing hubby and father to my kids. But his insecurities showed up when I lost weight. This time I'd rather go in with open eyes and work through it with him.

I made an appt with a psychologist for myself based on my psy. eval...she approved me for surgery but based on the personality test I took she felt ongoing therapy would help and it also saw issues in my relationship..which there are. The surgery is for me. I want our relationship to get better and thought by making an appt that I could work on me and hopefully work on us in the long run....he ofcourse threw a natural born fit.....so I cancelled the appt...going to find a therapist with weight loss and behavior modification training that can help me...if our relationship lasts fine but I don't think it will in the long run based me wanting to get healthy and his issues. It's just too much for one person to take on.    (((hugs)))) Just know you are doing what is best for you and the rest will work itself out how its supposed too.  I just pray alot that this is what I need for me.