Is it common to keep your decison for WLS private?

I had surgery RNY April 2010. I went from a size 18-20 to sizes 8/10/12....I told my family, my husband's family and some very close friends plus my parish nurse. My life is not an open book and I felt I trusted those close to me although I worried that friends who also had weight problems would alienate me. I have heard and experienced negative remarks....even from those I told. "Your not THAT fat", "You don't need to do that", "You could die", and I was avoiding more remarks by not making it news for everyone.

There are no more support groups in our area and at one time there were at least 4. It's a sad situation and hard to fight the fight alone. I know several people who I've met from different groups at one time so we console each other.

I, too, am honest and a straight forward person but something of personal choice is NOT up for debate or discussion. I have an incurable (but treatable) disease and the main reason I had the surgery was my health. I was denied by the first doctor I saw....and quickly accepted by the 2nd (2 hrs away). I have additional worries with food since my disease is allergy/food related and makes for less choices and harder to get protein etc....in when I can have adverse reactions at some point.

Best of luck to you. I hope you enjoy the new found freedom. The surgery is not magical in the way it solves marital problems, financial problems, job issues etc....it helps to cope better with them....I have found.

I had a really hard time pre-op discussing my decision with anyone other than my husband, a couple of good friends and my dad. I almost did NOT tell my other family members. I just did not want to hear what anyone had to say about it. It was my decision, I learned as much as I could about it and felt like I was making the best decision for me. I did end up telling family members, and of course the news spread like wild fire through out my husband's family, and I did have to hear some negatives (oh, well so-and-so had that and gained all the weight back" and "so-and-so had surgery and had a bowel obstruction", etc., etc.)
At this point I'm 7 weeks post op and over 50 pounds down. It's become a little bit easier to tell people that I had surgery, but I'm still not going to post it on Facebook for the entire world to see. I'm not sure hwo it would be now if I hadn't told people beforehand. They'd probably be pretty mad at me for going through a major surgery and not letting them know. A bonus is that my mom is now considering surgery for herself. :)

Thanks Melissa, I feel the same way. I just don't want people to try to talk me out of it. My sister is actually a Nut, she isn't really unsupportive but I don't think she agrees with my decision. My brother lives out of state, but his son is getting married in June. I should be able to shop in regular stores by then for a dress. I will most likely tell my sister in law pre op.

Yes, I know alll the risks, and yes I have even taken care of some with complications., but the benefits outweigh the risk in my opinion and that is all that matters.

Congrats on your 50 pound loss, and how exciting about your Mom.

I actually kept this secret from my family, and still have not told some of my "Judgmental" family as I call them lol.  I didn't feel comfortable telling them because I didn't want to hear what they had to say about it.  I knew the decision was the right thing for me, and didn't think it was anyone elses.  So there are some places - like at school, that I love to talk about it and tell new people I met about it.(met a great friend who also had bariatrics that way)   Others I just don't care to share with! 

It is completely your decision and you have to be comfortable with it.  Who cares if we had surgery! We are healthier and happier, and that is all that should matter (IMHO) :)

I Feel the same way .I have told some people but my family wouldnt be supportive. I was wondering if anyone has tryed the isopure shakes ? I havent had surgery yet but i am trying everything. 

Here is an article that we hope you find helpful.

http://www.obesityhelp.com/articles/shh-its-a-secret/

Best wishes.

Good topic. In the beginning before and after my surgery and kept it private, very private, I didn't want anyone to know. I feared many things if anyone would find out and the rumors that would follow.

But now.my attitude and has changed. If asked, I tell them what surgery I have had and any part of my experience that they want to know. I still do not "throw it out there." 

When I first made the decision to have surgery I thought I didn't want very many people to know. Certain people I had to tell, my immediate family since they would be my after surgery recovery support, my closest friend, and my boss. But once I really got it set in my mind that this IS going to happen and it will be life changing I started being more open about it and telling most of the people I interact with regularly. I've even posted about it on Facebook. I have been very lucky that for the most part everyone is very supportive. I think they they can all see what I have been feeling for a long time - that the real me is hiding deep inside this body and needs some extra help to get out and shine. I only recently found out that someone I care about has some pretty big prejudices against people who have the surgery in general, but I know that their prejudice comes from a very selfish place so the only way it really affects me is that we probably won't be very close anymore.

I haven't had surgery yet - but so far I am glad that I told people because it has helped me to see *****ally cares for me.

I also told everyone.  At first I would say it with a little shame-face because I felt that I had taken the easy way out with surgery as opposed to diet and exercise.  However, after the first year (and 90 pounds) I realized it was just as hard for me to follow the rules to keep it off, as it would have been to start from scratch.

Now I just embrace what I had done (the sleeve) and feel like the poster child for bariatric surgery since it worked so well for me.