on 10/27/22 8:02 am

I could really use some support as I have almost none. I have surgery scheduled for 11.23.2022. My BMI is 36-35 but, I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, no energy, everything is a struggle, feet problems from the added weight, and am pre-diabetic. The list goes on. I have yo-yo dieted my entire life, tried every eating plan out there and I am at the heaviest weight I have ever been at. My friends and family (the few I have told about surgery) all say ... your not that big, you should just diet & exercise, just set your mind to it, its your age, you are being vain etc. It give me an influx of feelings. I am not dictating what they should say and they are completely entitled to their feelings but where is the compassion for me and my struggles? Is this selfish of me to feel this way?

on 10/27/22 11:21 pm

It's not vain to want to get fit and feel good about yourself. I had the Sadi DS in Nov 2014 and was considered a lightweight for wls (under 40bmi) with co-morbids. I did not ask anyone's permission or views about the surgery, and I have many people in my family. The surgery helped me achieve a much healthier weight and lifestyle. It would have never been possible w/o wls for me to lose the amount of weight I needed to, and keep it off. It's your health and your decision. My experience is that a majority of the nay-sayers are overweight and lead unhealthy lifestyles but somehow feel they should be telling you what is best.

FYI - There are many wls support groups for both in-person and online support. Your physician should be able to help you identify some.

on 10/29/22 1:28 am
WLS on 07/15/22

I second this. It is your health, your life. If surgery is something you feel like would make a difference for you, do it for you and your health. Hopefully as your family sees the positive benefits to you, they'll come around. Best of luck to you!

HW 282, LW 123.4 (8/29/23), CW 144.4

Pre-op-33, M1-12, M2-17, M3-14, M4-11, M5-14, M6-5, M7-6, M8-5, M9-22, M10-6, M11-5, M12-2, M13-2, M14-5

on 10/28/22 3:35 am

Hey, I understand you so perfectly, I want you to know everything will be fine, I also had surgery not long ago and am here for support.

on 10/28/22 8:37 pm

I'm glad you reached out and found support this way. I'm lucky that my husband and children support me. I won't share with my best friend because I KNOW she will not approve- she will feel the risks aren't worth it. Self esteem depression, not doing things because of weight, current health issues.... that's a risk... not feeling like I'm ever going to be dedicated enough to lose the amount of weight I need to lose to even touch Overweight let alone healthy weight. I looked into the surgeries and scared myself out of one of them but decided on another. It's right for me. You know what's right for you. I'm the most motivated and dedicated I've ever been because I feel hope and trust that I can get there before I die..... that makes it right.... you know. I am sorry you don't have support with family but you have support with people who get your struggles. God luck and keep posting.

on 11/1/22 5:10 am, edited 10/31/22 10:11 pm

I told noone but my business partner about my surgery ( so he could visit me and drive me home ) twelve years ago.

i didnt want their uninformed opinions nor their judgment belittling my eventual and permanent weight loss.

Im still below goal weight, ridiculously healthy and finally starting to try for and achieve my life long dreams . (((()))) hugs

Good Luck on Surgery Day ! Follow docs orders about walking and blowing and youll heal a lot quicker !

White Dove
on 11/1/22 6:56 am - Warren, OH

35 BMI is not a comfortable and healthy place to be. There is so much misunderstanding and judgment about weight loss surgery. It is not a miracle cure that lets you continue unhealthy eating or inactive lifestyle.

It is a tool that helps you to eat less, get more energy, and achieve a healthy BMI. The world is full of people whose lives would be very much improved with weight loss surgery. Sadly, very few of them will ever get the help that they need. Some cannot afford to pay for it and don't have insurance to cover it. But the majority could do it and are stopped by the type of comments you have received.

With your conditions, I hope you are not scheduled for a VSG or sleeve. You need a surgery that includes malabsorption. The best of diabetes is the DS with about 90% chance of diabetes going into remission and staying there. In your case, never getting full diabetes.

RNY is the next best choice with about 75% chance of no diabetes. The VSG or sleeve is about 50% chance. The VSG is quick and easy, and surgeons prefer it because they make about the same money for less work. For the patient, keeping weight off after the first few honeymoon years, DS is the best option.

Surgery involves changing your lifestyle. For me, that was really easy when I am never hungry and can only eat a few bites at a meal. I had RNY surgery in 2007 and still have not experienced hunger. I have to remember to eat. I also get in as much exercise as possible, weigh myself daily, and attend Weigh****chers to help control the number of calories that I consume.

I eat a high protein, low carb diet and if I started to eat a lot of carbs again, my hunger would return.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

on 11/13/22 12:57 pm
VSG on 12/13/22

I understand what you are saying about the different surgeries but it isn't that one surgery gives you a better chance than another. The percentages reflect people that have had a particular surgery that have reversed their diabetes. Someone who has a BMI of 50 and uncontrolled diabetes is very different from someone that has a 35 BMI and well controlled diabetes. How well a person does with any given surgery depends on where they started and how well they follow all the rules post-op and for life.

on 11/1/22 10:38 am
VSG on 12/13/22

I came on here today looking for the same support. My BMI is about 36 right now. I have high BP, type 2 Diabetes, and had a calcium artery scan with results that put me in intermediate risk of a CVA or stroke in 3-5 years. I am eating sooo much better now and exercising which is great. I have another appointment with my surgeon on Thursday. I still have 2 more required telephone sessions with my insurance company to complete before my surgeon can request approval. He told me that there is something about the surgery (I'm looking at Sleeve) that positively effects reversal of diabetes and heart risk that diet alone doesn't and the medical community doesn't fully understand why that is. His goal and mine is to get to a BMI of 31 from surgery. He said positive outcomes come at that BMI. I have lost enough weight in the past with a medically supervised diet and, yes, I was off almost all meds...but I got hungry and didn't like to keep eating the packaged foods. So here I am hoping to have major surgery to reverse heart risk, diabetes, reflux, high BP and who knows maybe reduce my risk of Alzheimer's dementia. I'm still on the fence because if I get to 35 BMI (10 pounds away) do I really want to take the risk? I'm tired of people thinking I'm pregnant. I still had that upper belly bulge after losing so much weight in the past. I'll gladly pay for lipo or cool sculpting if I can get to healthy status with surgery. I'd love to be your support person...I need one too.

White Dove
on 11/1/22 12:37 pm - Warren, OH

Do a lot of research and then insist on at least an RNY instead of a sleeve. Weight loss and maintenance will be quicker and easier, and you will have better odds of putting diabetes into remission. A person with reflux should never have a sleeve. The tight system caused by the sleeve causes reflux and GERD in people who never had it before and makes it worse in someone who already has reflux. The only cure for that is to reverse to RNY.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

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