Anyone else in the why bother mentality?

taw1975
on 12/4/08 3:10 am - DFW, TX

Sometimes I wonder as a single, engaged twice but never married 33 year old woman…why bother?

I was never the white dress dream kind of girl but seriously at this point in my life I wonder if I ever really want to be married.  I have loved, lost and still love one beautiful man *****appeared in my life 10 years after the first relationship attempt, but we aren’t married and right now I’m not sure if it ever will be in the cards.

 

 

 

Then I look at my friends—very few are married and truly happy.  They are dealing with daily drama whi*****ludes cheating, ex-baby mama drama, laziness, etc.  and I wonder why bother?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I like my life.  I enjoy that it’s just me and my son—we do what we please, when it pleases us.  I don’t have to answer to anyone, take care of anyone but myself and him, etc.  If I don’t want to cook, I don’t have to.  If we want to go to the movie, we go. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

While it would be nice to love someone completely, have the companionship, etc.  I am not sure I don’t want to deal with potential drama, constant togetherness, etc.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think I probably should have gotten married early on and then maybe I would get it.  Any of you other single people feel this way? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Married people want to chime in? 

 

Faith *
on 12/4/08 3:14 am
Any of you other single people feel this way? 

Single lady here and I feel you on some of this.  I have been through so much, I STILL love the idea of being in a relationship and/or being married and hopefully one day I will before I get too old.

People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas. ~Author Unknown

# 1 MACK_MAMA
on 12/4/08 3:20 am
^5!!!!  I have the same thoughts myself!!!!!

I am REAL comfy and haven't ever lived with someone - not sure i want to either!!!!!

PLUS - I LIKE being able to tell a mofo to LEAVE MY HOUSE when the 'festivities' of the night are over.......

I don't just have issues, I have subscriptions!  I'm saving on the newsstand price.......

Check out my dating mis - adventures at: http://1macdatinggame.blogspot.com/

~Sexy YaYa~
on 12/4/08 3:24 am, edited 12/4/08 3:25 am
On December 4, 2008 at 11:20 AM Pacific Time, #1 Mack Mama wrote:

PLUS - I LIKE being able to tell a mofo to LEAVE MY HOUSE when the 'festivities' of the night are over.......


HELL YEAH...Umm you ain't gotta go home BUT you gotta get the HELL OUTTA HERE
~Sexy YaYa~
Motown's Finest
on 12/4/08 12:30 pm - MI
Now that's the shyte rt. there YaYa...You my gurl for real..
"Criticism like rain should be gentle enough to nourish man"      
" I'm Motown's Finest and I approve this message"   
~Sexy YaYa~
on 12/4/08 9:36 pm

~Sexy YaYa~
ShayZ
on 12/4/08 3:37 am - Somewhere, TX
On December 4, 2008 at 11:20 AM Pacific Time, #1 Mack Mama wrote:
^5!!!!  I have the same thoughts myself!!!!!

I am REAL comfy and haven't ever lived with someone - not sure i want to either!!!!!

PLUS - I LIKE being able to tell a mofo to LEAVE MY HOUSE when the 'festivities' of the night are over.......
How come I am not surprised that this was your response? LOL

TAW I am a little like you (but 3 yrs older) and yes, I think it is inevitable that when you get through or over something to question what its all about.  I just got out of the last relationship in August and I mourned more what I dreamed of for my future more so than I did him.  Of course by that time if I hadn't gotten away from ole dude I was going to catch a case...but that is not the point.  This man was yet another one who said he wanted to be there for me and gave me jewelry to prove it (and yes I kept it).  But in the end neither of us could make it work...

I say all that crap to say, I don't believe in giving up but I am trying not to believe in the fairy tale dream either.  I am saying out loud and trying to make myself believe it, that when God is ready for my future to be unveiled to me; it will.  If I trust in Him then he will find the one for me.  My mission is to work on the me that I am and the faults that I recognize and with His help get a handle on all that. So it's not - not bothering - its trusting. 

Now to be fair, I also had to realize that what God has for me may not be a husband, kids and a white picket fence....around 4 acres, a swimming pool, tennis courts and a 4000sq foot house, lol.  So I am working on accepting that not everyone lives the same dream but if we trust in God then the dream He allows us to live will be better than any we could imagine.

Sorry for being long-winded, I been thinking about this  a lot.
taw1975
on 12/4/08 3:44 am - DFW, TX
On December 4, 2008 at 11:37 AM Pacific Time, Shay Z. wrote:
On December 4, 2008 at 11:20 AM Pacific Time, #1 Mack Mama wrote:
^5!!!!  I have the same thoughts myself!!!!!

I am REAL comfy and haven't ever lived with someone - not sure i want to either!!!!!

PLUS - I LIKE being able to tell a mofo to LEAVE MY HOUSE when the 'festivities' of the night are over.......
How come I am not surprised that this was your response? LOL

TAW I am a little like you (but 3 yrs older) and yes, I think it is inevitable that when you get through or over something to question what its all about.  I just got out of the last relationship in August and I mourned more what I dreamed of for my future more so than I did him.  Of course by that time if I hadn't gotten away from ole dude I was going to catch a case...but that is not the point.  This man was yet another one who said he wanted to be there for me and gave me jewelry to prove it (and yes I kept it).  But in the end neither of us could make it work...

I say all that crap to say, I don't believe in giving up but I am trying not to believe in the fairy tale dream either.  I am saying out loud and trying to make myself believe it, that when God is ready for my future to be unveiled to me; it will.  If I trust in Him then he will find the one for me.  My mission is to work on the me that I am and the faults that I recognize and with His help get a handle on all that. So it's not - not bothering - its trusting. 

Now to be fair, I also had to realize that what God has for me may not be a husband, kids and a white picket fence....around 4 acres, a swimming pool, tennis courts and a 4000sq foot house, lol.  So I am working on accepting that not everyone lives the same dream but if we trust in God then the dream He allows us to live will be better than any we could imagine.

Sorry for being long-winded, I been thinking about this  a lot.
I think that is part of my problem.  I have a lot of expectations and qualifications that I need to let go of and just step outside of my box.  I have the "I can do bad by my dayum self" mentality so I want someone equal or more often on a greater level then myself.  I think I need to pray about this because right now I feel like God gave up on me on this front.
# 1 MACK_MAMA
on 12/4/08 4:09 am
Now - don't get me wrong - the Mack ain't just all hard..... biotch got her soft moments and like to be held too.....

but for the most part, I be like..... MOOOOVVVVEEE!!!   IT'S HOT UP IN HERE!!!! GET OFF ME MAN!!!!!
 

PLUS - there is no more blood-boiling sight in the world than to watch a mofo drink the last of your cold kool-aid when you get up after bustin a nut and go to the kitchen....... that's how mofos get knifed in the middle of the night!!!!   I be like, MOFO THIS AIN'T YO HOUSE - YOU WANT A COLD DRINK - DRIVE UP THE SKREET!!!!!! 

ok - Imma go back to work now....... LOL!!!

I don't just have issues, I have subscriptions!  I'm saving on the newsstand price.......

Check out my dating mis - adventures at: http://1macdatinggame.blogspot.com/

taw1975
on 12/4/08 3:41 am - DFW, TX
(SMH)  I have lived with people--never again. 

As for the festivities, sometimes I don't even want to be bothered with that because if they like to start to like it too much it feels like you are bound because they get too demanding.
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