I have nobody and need positive conversation. BMI - 54.

Cicerogirl, The PhD
Version

on 1/3/15 6:44 am - OH

Don't let the people who aren't being supportive get you down.  Thsoe of us with a BMI over 50 (mine was 57) have almost no chance of getting such a large amount of weight off (and keeping it off) without surgery.  I was fortunate... If anyone had any negative responses to my surgery plan (other than worrying about how safe it was and whether I would have compkications) kept their thoughts to themselves.  

I told only my immediate family and best friend before I actually had a sugery date, and when I told others at that point, I presented it as a decision was that carved in stone so it was clear that I was NOT soliciting opinions.

It was the best decision I ever made for myself!  I just wi**** had been possible earlier (before I was 45 years old and had already spent most of my adult life MO and spent at least 10 years being SMO).

You will definitely find support here.

Lora

14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

Darlingmarch2
on 1/5/15 6:33 am

Thank you so much for your reply and support. I have had negative and positive responses but overall it's been negative. And the people who are somewhat supportive, they just don't understand and I can't talk to them about it because they don't get it. I'm glad that I am getting this done at 25. Being the size I am now is taking so much away from my life and I am missing out on so much and I don't want to live like this anymore. I want to really start living, without restrictions! It's great that you got it done and I think it's an amazing choice. We are all strong and we all deserve to live a healthy life, free from the fear and sadness and restrictions that come along with obesity. Thank you again for writing me. Feel free to write me whenever. I am in this for the long run and will continue to use this site. It has already brought me so much support and happiness. :)

HW:352lbs / CW:335lbs / First one-on-one appointment with surgeon: January 5th 2015

"Making the choice I believe to be best for me and mine and never looking back."

    

    
jenn1469
on 1/3/15 7:00 am

I hand no family behind me in this process except my best friend and husband. Im 7 mos. post I am looking and feeling a lot better. Im no longer obese. I never thought this would work for me but it did. Keep coming to this site its a good place. Good luck to you.

Jennifer

    

Darlingmarch2
on 1/5/15 6:35 am

If you don't mind me asking, what was your height and weight pro-op compared to now? I have already gotten so much support and happiness from this site. I am here for the long run. Thank you so much! I can't wait to get my surgery! 

HW:352lbs / CW:335lbs / First one-on-one appointment with surgeon: January 5th 2015

"Making the choice I believe to be best for me and mine and never looking back."

    

    
jenn1469
on 1/5/15 7:18 am

my bmi was 37 my weight was 234 and my hight is 5' 7" I got surgery because I only have half my foot. Doctor told me if I didn't loose

weight I would be in a wheel chair with in 5 years. my bmi now is 26 I'm 2 number away from being normal range. I now weigh 167 and I wear a size 3 and size small pants and medium top. I have energy my foot and knees don't hurt anymore. I can walk 5 miles now with out taking breaks.

I am still only able to eat 2.5 oz I notice on this site that most people eat more than me at 7 mos post op. But I look at this as a good thing.

Good luck to you!!!

Jennifer

    

Darlingmarch2
on 1/9/15 9:27 am

I'm glad you're doing so good! That's great! I don't think the eating thing is a bad thing at all. It's probably helping. How is it going with vitamins and nutrition? I have gotten extremely into looking into vitamins and what you need to do to make sure you are getting the right intake to stay healthy. I will hopefully have my first appointment with my nutritionist next week and will be able to find out more information. I'm glad you are feeling so healthy and active. I can't wait for that feeling... being able to walk and not have aches and pains and stopping to catch my breath. I want to take up hiking!

HW:352lbs / CW:335lbs / First one-on-one appointment with surgeon: January 5th 2015

"Making the choice I believe to be best for me and mine and never looking back."

    

    
Star2015
on 1/4/15 2:56 pm - Atlanta, GA
RNY on 02/25/15

Hi, I am also starting my journey. My surgery is scheduled for next month. I have several family members who have done it and their self esteem is through the roof. I don't plan to tell everyone. And for those who do negatively comment, you have to ask yourself why are they providing negative feedbac****ep my circle small so the people I have told were legitimately happy for me. 

Your surgery is your decision and you are financing it. You have to put yourself first here. Do this for you, not them. Family and friends should always give support. They should be proud of you. We are!

    
Darlingmarch2
on 1/5/15 6:39 am

Thank you! I have only told my mom, sister and three of my closest friends. The ones who are being negative, I know exactly what is behind their negativity. It sucks that they are not uplifting and supportive but I'm dealing with it on my own. This site and the people here have been very helpful. That's great that your surgery is next month! I can't wait to be able to say that! I'm so excited already. Nothing is stopping me from going through with this. I know it's exactly what I want and the best choice for me and mine. My future and my sons future is all that matters. My health is the main reason I'm doing it and there is no going back. I refuse to keep living like this. Thanks for the support. I appreciate it so much! How excited or scared are you about next month! 

HW:352lbs / CW:335lbs / First one-on-one appointment with surgeon: January 5th 2015

"Making the choice I believe to be best for me and mine and never looking back."

    

    
Star2015
on 1/5/15 6:52 am - Atlanta, GA
RNY on 02/25/15

Yeah, sometimes it's jealousy. Which is sad. Some people want you to be "below" them so you will make them look good.  I used to have a couple of pretty friends who kept me around so they would always be the cuter friend. I know this because they were the type of people who never complimented anyone nor encouraged them. But they always fished for compliments.

I am excited to meet people like you on here. I feel better about my decision and am more confident as time approaches.

    
Darlingmarch2
on 1/9/15 9:38 am

I know the feeling! One of my long time friends told me, "When you get skinny, you can't dress ****ty or anything around my boyfriend." I stared at her for a minute, shaking my head and she continued with, "We're never gonna get to hang out unless my boyfriend isn't around." It was insane. She said it like it was completely okay that she was saying it. The thing is, I'm friends with both of them and it really hurt me that she feels like it should even matter how I dress or what size I am because me and her boyfriend DO NOT want each other. I was extremely hurt by this conversation. Another friend told me I wouldn't be as pretty if I lost weight and that she thinks I'm gonna look weird and it's gonna be weird to see me skinny. I know that she didn't mean this to be offensive, I even think she thought she was being nice by somehow implying that I'm perfect how I am and blah blah blah but the thing is, I'm doing this for my health, not my looks. I think I'm pretty and I am actually very confident in my looks and my body, I just know that it isn't healthy to be this big and that I have already began having problems and they will get worse and worse as time goes by if I don't do something about it. I just want my friends to understand that and I feel like they are never going to, even if they move past this weird outlook they have and come to terms with it.... I just want them to say they're happy for me and I don't know if I'm going to hear that or not. I'm so glad to constantly hear it from people on this site. I need people in my life who genuinely care and understand the path I've chosen. Sorry, this is so long. If you'd like, you can message me if you'd like to keep each other posted on progress! :)

HW:352lbs / CW:335lbs / First one-on-one appointment with surgeon: January 5th 2015

"Making the choice I believe to be best for me and mine and never looking back."

    

    
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