and now the frustration

I'm getting really tired of hearing from my doctor friend and my aunt how everything I'm doing isn't enough, and what I need to do is more.  I'm half tempted to just say "fook it" and schedule 7 days a week at the gym, so that when I collapse from whatever medical condition takes me out, I can point at them and say "See, I told you there's nothing I can ******g do about it." 

I'm so livid these past few days, at UHC's seemingly arrogant behavior - who the **** cares about employee counts, it's not as though your goddamn company doesn't  have enough other opted in employees on your plan, that in your BILLIONS of dollars of profit, my measly $32-40,000 operation would be a drop in the bucket for you.  But I guess in your infinite sage ways, you figure that paying my prescriptions for the next 5 years is better than helping me take a step in the right direction because you don't have any ******g clue what it's like for someone to experience the grief and anguish that comes from never seeing results and in ways that others only blab their goddamn pie holes on about.  I don't eat excessively, I do a lot of physical work in between those stints at my desk, walking upwards of a mile each day in my TINY workplace building, and that's just for my stupid job.  

So now I'm being forced to pick another job because the stupid exclusion policy states that because we don't employ more than 100 people I have to suffer.  I should go on a pie eating binge and land myself in the hospital (won't do that) because there's no way to get the arrogant company to see the stress that they are placing on me.  

Maybe it's just not worth the struggle at all?  Maybe I should just throw caution to the wind and do whatever the hell I want so that I gain even more, stop my gym regimen, and be the fat loser that you believe shouldn't exist in your narrow mind.  

Or maybe I should sue them.  Find a loophole and sue them for an amount equal to my healthcare costs for a year.  

I've started looking for a new job, because there's no way in hell a lowly employee at a non-profit can go against a meganational corporation because their policy exemption is WRONG.  

The answer... is there is no answer.  I have to watch as all of my fit friends, the people on this forum, the people who exercise DOES matter for get on with their lives, and my mental state deteriorates to the point of no return.  

Sorry guys, I don't know how much more rejection I can put up with.  I HATE that they're forcing me to choose a new job because of this.  One that may not like, and thus force me into even more hardship.  

I don't see any clear answer.  Sorry you had to read the rambling, maybe I'm just tired or starving and can't think straight, anymore, I don't know.  It's amazing what your life turns into without hope.

Ben, I'm so sorry you are going through this.  I pray that you find a solution.  You know what you want and what you need, which puts you miles ahead of most people in your shoes.  Turn your frustration into a determination to do what it takes to get this life-changing surgery.  Fight, whine, complain, be a squeaky wheel, whatever!

You are in my prayers,

Christy

*Hugs*

I'm so sorry that you have to go though this.

I heard many times on the board that a part time job at Starbucks would enable you to have the benefits to get the DS.

Would that be an option for you?

ETA: What about going to the media about having to have a certain amount of employees to add a clause to the policy? I don't see why it would matter how many employees a company has if they are willing to pay the extra amount to have the policy!

Hi Benjamin

You sound very (understandably) emotional right now and I caution you not to make any decisions while in this frame of mind. That is a great letter to get everything you need to off your chest. I can honestly say that I don't know how to go about having your insurance cover this surgery, but I am sure there are some on the board who can give you some suggestions or lead you to legal aid. I wish the best for you. I fought for two years to have my surgery covered - it was worth it. Keep the faith.

I'm just tired of putting up with this doctor friend and some others who seem to think that the answer is still in exercising and eating less than what I'm already doing.  Duh, it's not working you buffoons. 

I touched up that letter, took out some of the jarring and negativity and geared it more toward what I would like to read, and sent it off.  I also Emailed two local news stations.  If they want to fight me, it'll be a good fight.  

It's a good idea to surround yourself with positive people. It may be time to ditch the doctor. Keep posting here and stay positive. You sound very determined. I am sure it will happen.

He's just a friend, but ugh. 

Just stay the course Ben...your gonna get there, I promise.  I get sooooo aggravated with these darn ins. companies dictating our lives.  I'm sorry that your having such a rough time, it STINKS!

  In this day to not have an ins. policy that covers wls is ludicrous and cheap!!  You are just mad enough to find the answer my friend, it's time! Throw your Christmas jelly of the month back in their face and tell them to provide a solution not a problem!!
Best Wishes Ben...now go FIGHT!!

You might like to check out obesityaction.org, which campaigns for increased access to WLS.  If you do get an interview with the local news stations, you might also mention that some states have legislation that requires health insurers to offer WLS, at least to some extent.  Edited to add: though, sadly, my state isn't one of those.