Pissed to tears
on 9/1/10 9:32 am
As much as I have tried to educate my mother on what the DS is and how the DS works, she still doesn't get it. She keeps asking me what I've eaten for the day. When I tell her, she flips out on me, saying, "I thought the whole point of surgery was to teach you how to eat healthier?" "You need to change the way you eat and think about food!"
OMFG! I'm about to shoot myself in the face!
How do I make her get it? She makes me see red every time I talk to her! Today was the first day since I quit smoking, that I REALLY wanted a smoke after talking to her. I'm not going to go back to smoking, but my God she's ******g me off!
Then, I tell her I got cleared to go back to work on Saturday, and she flipped out on me again! She told me that I'm being stupid, going back after four weeks off. Well, I had to get a loan to pay for my surgery, and the rest of my pre-surgery emergency room bills are stacking up. I need to work. I feel fine, full of energy...yadda yadda. I guess I could have told her to feel free to start writing checks to pay those bills! Some days, I just want to tell her to go fly a kite! Ugh...**stomping feet immaturely**
It is not worth the stress of geting them to get it, as long as you get it !
Good luck !
Ginger<><
Revision #2 Dr John Rabkin June 21, 2013; First Revision DS - Dr Maguire 5-18-09; First DS 7-15-2003 Dr Clark Warden = Third time is the charm 
on 9/1/10 9:53 am, edited 9/1/10 9:54 am - Tuvalu
If your doctor knows what you do for a living and clears you...then just ignore your mom.
Also, moms, too, need training. Tell her you are not going to answer ANY questions about your eating behavior. When she asks, if on the phone, hang up. If you are in the same room, get up and walk away. (If you're eating, take your food with you.)
An undesired behavior is best extinguished by consistent, immediate consequences. You can't do it once in a while. Because the times you DO answer her will reinforce the questioning...it's called "intermittent reinforcement" and it's what makes us keep pushing the buttons on a slot machine. OCCASIONALLY answering her will prove to be the best way to keep her asking.
Just cut her off and she'll stop.
on 9/1/10 2:37 pm - Tuvalu
Thing is, we can only give our kids what we have...and all she has is diet and exercise info and the ability to warn you. Over and over and over again. And that's what she will do if you let her engage you in this topic.
If you don't want to shut her out of the discussion forever, give her a way out there deadline. As in, "Mom, I will not discuss this issue with you again UNTIL I am one year post-op. Until then, I'll just walk away or hang up. This is MY body and MY life and I will be making all the decisions regarding my diet and my health without your assistance. This does not mean I don't love you...it just means that you've done your job well and I am now a competent adult capable of making my own decisions..and fully determined to do so. So...what do you think of my haircut? Should I go shorter next time?"
you! Thank you! 
I've decide when I tell her about my WLS I'm not going to tell her which one until after it's done. All she's going to do is get on webmd and read some BS and try to tell me why I shouldn't do it or how I can do something better or just some other crap. I know they are our mothers but seriously? I'm a grown woman, I think I can figure out by now what's best for me, and if I can't then it's her fault for not teaching me long ago. HW - 274 / SW - 265 / CW - 178 / GW 140 High BMI 53.5 / Current BMI 34.8
www.youtube.com/watch
It must be really frustrating Wendy; to have you mother refuse to listen to you about such an important thing. Hang in there; you know what you're doing, even if he doesn't have a clue.
Kerry
