Need some support Pt. 1(long)

It's been a very rough week. Thought I'd turn to my friends here for some support and extra thoughts and prayers. My 16 y.o. son, Andrew, had 2 of his wisdom teeth out on Thursday and wasn't really able to get out of bed until Monday. His immune system is so weak after years of steroid meds for asthma. The slightest scrape usually ends up being cellulitus unless we get to the anitbiotics pronto. He's still very swollen and in pain. May have to go to some stronger antibiotics. I wish we could have gotten all four out to get it over with but because of yearly maximums on our dental I had to have 2 this year and wait until January for the other two. Just hate to put him through the anethesia and pain again but had no choice. My sister came in for a few days this weekend with her sons. She and my mom had a big huge fight and I seemed to be put right in the middle of it all. It was really awful. Anyway, my sister hadn't seen me since New Years but she does know of my progress and had seen the few pictures I have had taken. She has been extremely supportive through out my journey. The FIRST thing she said was that I was too skinny and that I looked better with more weight. I told her that I'm where my surgeon wants me to be and that this is the weight my body is settling on. Andrew had registration for school on Monday (He's a junior at an all boys Catholic school). We waited in line for the "grooming check" --If the haircut isn't according to school policy--no registration. I just took him to get the haircut the day before the wisdom teeth were pulled. Anyway, he didn't pass "inspection"--said his hair was too thick. Bunch of crap. Had to let one of the teachers cut the hair since I didn't want to drive all the way back to my end of town then back again. While we stood in line, one of his classmates (I'll call him "John") was chatting with him about different things. I remember the boy's father coming up to him and speaking to him because his dad was in a military uniform. I was thinking to myself, "I bet he'll pass the haircut inspection". Andrew told me to go ahead a sit down at that point. What should have taken 30 minutes to register ended up being 2.5 hours. Andrew didn't want to take his school pictures because of his face being so swollen. I don't blame him but there was no way around it since you have to have a school ID (they use them like debit cards for lunch, bookstore, etc.) So, there was a big hassle about that and he wasn't a happy camper. Nor was I. Later that night when I was done running around for school supplies with my daughters I got home about 10:30 pm. Andrew was very shaken and upset. He had a call from another classmate. The boy--John that he was in line with at registration--committed suicide later that day. We had only been talking with him just a few hours earlier. My son was so devastated by this. So scary and sad. Seems the boy was involved with taking Ecstacy and was coming off a high. Shot himself just outside his garage that evening. He was only 16. Tuesday I attended the funeral of my best friend's mom. She was 78 and had such a hard life. But, now she is at peace. My uncle called this morning to tell us my grandfather passed away about 9:25 am. Grandpa would have been 95 on Saturday (I think that is the day we will be burying him). It was a peaceful passing at home so I am grateful for that but just so sad. That was my last grandparent. Heck I'm 47. Most people don't have any grandparents still around by then. I had planned to see Grandpa on Monday but since the school registration took so long we couldn't get by there. To be continued..... Rhonda

My fiance, Bruce, was suppose to have a chemical stress test on Friday and I was scheduled for an MRI--neck and brain scan--for Saturday. We were in a car accident in June and are still having problems related to all that. But, I had to reschedule the appts. due to funeral arrangements. Bruce had to come home from work yesterday and today due to severe migraines. Haven't heard any details on the classmate's funeral but I'm sure it will be soon. My son and his sister (she's 15) have never attended a funeral. I don't know how they will be able to handle someone their age. My twins are 10 and I probably won't have them at Grandpa's funeral. Seth is autistic and he wouldn't do well with this sort of thing. He knows Great Grandpa died today and has been really upset. He felt sick to his stomach and wanted a trash can by his bed in case he felt like throwing up. He is really sensitive and gets scared very easily. I thought I had been doing fine with my eating, supplements, etc. Just been extra busy with school starting this week, helping a friend move from Alabama (domestic abuse situation), etc. Got on the scale and said I was under 108 (107.4) I hope I don't have something else to worry about. I know I have been eating too much sugar and carbs (usually do when I am under stress) so that isn't helping me maintain my weight. I just wanted to get all this off my chest. Everyone here is always so supportive. Just needed to have your "shoulders to lean on" for a bit. The End Rhonda

Oh Rhonda, What a mess. Just everything at once. We all know this will pass, but when you're in the midst of things it just seems eternal. I'm so sorry about your grandfather. Both my grandfathers were gone by the time I was born. My heart is breaking for your teenage son. We recently lost a young girl, senior in high school (was an overdose, the "first" time she had tried anything (Oxycontin)) and the town was devastated...so I can just imagine -- a suicide and after seeing him that afternoon! Just know that God is guiding us all. Sometimes we don't know why these things happen all at once, but we do get through. Please lean on us all you need to. You have been a tremendous inspiration to this gal. So thanks again and God Bless. Warmest regards, Fern B. 267/176/150 (who knows?)

Rhonda, Patty

That sure is a lot of stressful situations to endure in such a short time span. (((Hugs to you))) I don't mind the leaning =) Amanda

And I thought I was under a lot of stress! You and your family have been added to my prayer list! Take care of yourself during this hectic time. Tammy 285/144/140

I'm so sorry you're going through this all at once. Talk about it hitting the fan, man, it clogged the fan and burned out the motor! Please make sure you are eating well and staying healthy, priority one!! Teenage suicide is a horrible blow. One of my friends had a son die of a heart attack at football practice (17) and 6 weeks later her 15 year old daughter shot herself through the chest outside of school in front of a crowd of kids. Teens think they are invincible and they will live forever, and when reality intrudes it causes a lot of anger, disillusionment (what's the use?!), fear, guilt ("I should have known, etc...) sadness, vulnerability. It will take time to process all of this and teenage boys are not known for their keen communication skills, so behavior may become obnoxious ("I'm hurting so bad, I don't know what to do, I'll tick you off and have you yell at me so I can release some of this on you!") Hubby and I are catholic school alumnae. He had his share of "trims" during high school. My greatest challenge was uniform length (was 6'1 by age 14) and sleeves of blouses (used to wear dad's tall oxford button downs, but only 1 button could be undone and it was pretty tight in the neck!) I also hope you and fiance get your post accident troubles taken care of soon. Have you seen a chiropractor? I go 2x a month and feel so much better after. Prayers for strength, health, stamina, wisdom and understanding, comfort and peace to you.

Oh Rhonda, I am so sorry that you are having to deal with so much right now. Please know that I will be thinking about you and praying for you through this difficult time. Hang in there. Love and Hugs, Katie

Rhona, I'm so sorry for your losses and for the very tough time your family is experiencing. I know that you are a very sweet and kind person. You have been a very inspirational DS patient to many of us here, including me. I was so happy to meet you in person at the last support meeting. (in case everyone was wondering, Rhonda is even prettier in person than her great photo). Somehow you and your family will endure this tough time and come out the other side. Everyone always says "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". What I always say is "I don't wanna be that damned strong". I don't really have any words of wisdom to offer except that we are all here for you and hope that these tough times pass quickly. However, you must take care of yourself during these stressful situations. You have your family counting on you. Try to eat some protein and take your vitamins. Try to make a little time for yourself. I know it's hard and you don't feel like it, but try. Remember I'm local. So if you email me and need to talk, it'll only be a local call. Good luck and God Bless!

Rhonda- You and your family are in my prayers as is the family of the young man who died. As others have said you must take care of yourself-- this is an imperative. I am so sorry for your loss. Red