I have UHC and WLS is excluded from coverage completly.  So I will be paying my own way.

First, understand that this is a business decision for your insurance company.  They are using their contracts to determine whether to pay for the coverage, and they seem to have found another way to deny based on how your situation lines up with your contract.

Your job is to:

(1) Get all objections from them in writing so you can address them all at once.  Reply to the most recent letter in writing asking for all of the reasons why the surgery is being denied and what would need to be done to satisfy those requirements

(2) Thoroughly respond in writing to every issue that they provide.

(3) Include the financial benefit TO THEM for approving your surgery in your response.  While this isn't absolutely necessary to obtain approval, they will be much more likely to approve a "borderline" patient (from a contractual standpoint) if they think it will be more profitable over the long-term.  Fortunately, weight loss surgery is an extremely profitable investment for the insurance company over the long-term.

This page walks through the instructions and has a sample health insurance appeal letter.

You should also seek the assistance of the HR department from your husband's company.  They (along with their employee benefits broker or consultant) can work with the insurance company on your behalf to speed up the process.

Good luck!

Jeff