Just feeling bad for myself

Happy Hump Day! So I had my surgery on 9/7.  ON 10/19 I went for my first fill and I was down 12 lbs.  Not as much as I hoped, but still a good loss for someone who couldn't lose weight on their own.  Anyway....that fill gave me no restriction at all.  I have the big band, so I have 3cc's in.  I am not scheduled for another fill until 12/7.  I had lost about 3 lbs. after my fill, but it has creeped back on.  Damn, Halloween should be banned!  I am having such a hard time making good choices.  After the surgery it was easy because I wasn't hungry and I knew I had to be careful.  Now I am out 2 months, the loss has completely slowed and I am sooooo discouraged.  I know I need to stay the course, the weight loss is slow and I need to grow the F up and make better choices.   I have 2 friends in the process of getting approved for bypass and I am so worried that once they have the surgery and are dropping the wieight so fast that I am going to get so jealous and think that I should have had that surgery instead of the band.  I think part of my problem is that I got laid off the end of September and I am having a hard time finding a job.  I go on interviews, I leave feeling very positive and I never get called back.  It is kicking my self esteem in the ass, because I was such a hot shot at my last job.  I am convinced I am not getting hired because I am fat (in addition to being a lousy interview).  Well, that's my *****ing and glum for the day.  Thanks for listening...sorry to ramble so long. ~Robin

Hi Robin, Your weight loss of 12 lbs is wonderful!  I know it can be frustrating because it is slow, but it is also a very healthy way to lose weight.  It takes a few fills before you have restriction if any and that too should help with the weight loss.  Please don't be down on yourself you are doing wonderful, you are putting yourself first what more could you ask for.  As I always say with the band we all have those little speed bumps so what we do i**** the bump (which you have), go over it ( come on  you can do it) and keep moving.  Keep your chin up you should be so very proud of your progress.  Keeping you in my thoughts.  Kellie

Hey Robin,  I know its hard, but it can and does get better.  Are you exercising at all?  I know that when I use my treadmill or bike I see the pounds start to drop again.  You have to remember your body gets adjusted to the amounts of food your eating and how much your moving your body.  Maybe try mixing it up some.  For a week or two write down what your eating it may help with your food choices. 

Jenn

We're all entitled to our own breakdowns!  It just must be your time. You know you can do this.  Use the time between fills to "learn" how to eat better or learn a new exercise.  Don't be too hard on yourself.  You'll reach adequate restriction sooner than you'll realize. I think 12 pounds is great.  Just try to not compare yourself to someone who's had another surgery (its really depressing for me to check my month message board -- everyone is practically at goal or talking about tummy tucks or something else "fun" I can't yet enjoy). Take care, it'll happen! Lori

Hi Robin, Let me first day congrats on the 12 pound loss.  You know that this is not an instant fat remover and it definitely is not an instant self esteem booster but, all of that is coming in time.  I was very depressed and could not get a job to save my life before surgery.  They never had a chance to find out I was fat because I never would get called for interviews, it completely devistated me because like you I was a hot shot before I got laid off.  I know it is hard to keep your chin up but, letting the bad feelings get the best of you will just pull you down further.  You need to think of finding a job as your new job.  Get up and get dressed and make yourself look the best you can each day, even when you don't have an interview.  Looking your best in any situation boosts ones self esteem.  Stop thinking that you are fat and start thinking how skinny you are going to be soon.  This fat thing is going away and a young vibrant thin person is going to be taking over your life, doesn't that sound awesome.  You can do this!  Good luck and God Bless!

Hi Robin! Honey, you're doing just great! You've only been a Bandster for like 8 weeks, remember, it may take 3-5 fills to feel good restriction! You're within, the 1-2 pounds a week, loss. Cheer up, hon, and give yourself a chance! Are you drinking enough, getting enough protein, and calories? It all works together. As for your job, hopefully, that will work out in the near future. Life is packed with challenges, and you have just done something, that will give you a healthy life, and a much better one! Be glad you have had the opportunity to use this wonderful tool. Pat yourself on the back, sweetie, and relax, and enjoy your journey! don't be so darn hard onyourself, for nothing!