Gained weight!!! I'm officially in BANDSTER HELL!! Help??

Hi Everyone,

So i'll try not to write a novel here but I just need to vent, ***** and whine to someone. 

I was banded almost 4 months ago.  Pre-op i lost about 17 pounds, post-op i lost about 23.  Ive gotten a few fills, but i have no restriction at all.  My surgeon is VERY conservative with fills.  I think i'm around 2.5-3cc.  The last few times i saw him i told him that i'm always hungry.  I'm getting my protein in.  Its always the first thing i eat.  I drink my water, and i'm working out.  I thought i was doing okay, even though my weightloss slowed down significantly over the last month or so.  But when i went in yesterday I gained a pound!!!  Then even today it looks like i'm up another pound?!!!  I'm so sick about this!  I failed myself today.  I was upset and disappointed in myself so i ate a bowl of ice cream.  Ugghh!!!  This is always what i end up doing to myself when i diet.  I can usually lose about 30-40 lb**** a plateau, maybe gain a few, then completely fall off the wagon because i give up on myself.  Then gain everything back, plus more!  I'm just disgusted with myself for the gain, and then the poor decisions i made today. 

Please, is there someone who can offer some words of wisdom to help snap me out of this?  I know i have to wake up tomorrow morning and start new.  I guess i worry about the hunger hitting me like a runaway train and feeling out of control.

Any support or encouragment would be greatly appreciated!!!

Thanks!
Kelly

First of all....A HUG FOR YOU!  I think we've all been there.  I just started having restriction at 6.5 months out.  It really is hell for the first few months, BUT...IT GETS BETTER I PROMISE!

Now, about the gain.  I go up and down up and down all the time.  June I lost like 8 pounds in the first 2 weeks...crazy, huh?  Then I pretty much played with4 of those pounds until this week.  I finally dropped 2 more to make it 10 pounds in 2 months.  But I kept going up and down 4 pounds.  I hate that.  I don't weigh daily now...it's every other day and that's still killing me mentally.

My advice is to realize that YOU WILL GAIN from day to day and from hour to hour.  Especially being a woman!  We hold water and our TOMs don't help.  Forgive yourself your bowl of ice cream because if you don't then it wasn't worth the enjoyment of it was it?  Even skinny people eat ice cream, so it's ok.

Get back on track tomorrow, eat higher protein and lower carbs AND DRINK THA****ER!  It's what will flush out the pounds.  I'm not kidding.  When I don't drink all my water that scale tends to creep up.

You are doing great.  DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF.  I think your doc is going a little more conservative on the fills because you're losing...and that's a good thing!  :)  I am finally at 7cc at 7 months out.  We almost didn't even do a fill today, but he wanted to add a tiny bit.  So it sounds like you're right on track. 

Keep up the good work~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, THANK YOU for being so sweet!  I got choked up reading your message.  I truly appreciate your positive and forgiving attitude!

If your hungary between meals talk to your surgeon and try to get him to listen to you about what you are feeling and how much you are eating.  if you are in the yellow zone tell him.  I know each doc takes their own approch on how often to do fills and I guess maybe I am lucky as my doc says as soon as you feel you are in the yellow zone come in for a fill.  That being said everyone needs a treat from time to time so don't be upset about it, tomorrow is a new day.  Also, I have heard many docs and nurses say to not weigh yourself every day as you will appear to yoyo.  In any day you can change your weight by like 4-10 lbs even though you dont technically gain weight its just how much water you have in your system and if food is digested and many different things like that.  I know when you are trying to loose weight it is hard to not run to the scale to see if you are managing to loose or not.  Try to only weigh yourself 1 or at most 2 times a week, always at the same time of day like first thing in the morning.  Good luck and I hope your surgeon will listen and help you use your tool.

Yeah, i am SOOOOO guilty of weighin myself every morning.  Sometimes even a few other times during the day as well.  Bad, bad, bad, i know.   A few days before the gain, i weighed myself and it looked like i had lost 5 lbs!  So i think, the gain after thinking i had lost a good amount had sent me on an emotional rollercoaster of sorts.  I need to really limit my "weigh-ins" to once or twice a week.

Thanks!!! 

We are always the hardest on ourselves, and I believe I had read somewhere it is one of the reasons some people binge.  It's a terrible cycle.  

No one is perfect and skinny people don't only eat healthy 100% of the time.  Forgive yourself, and learn from the experience!  Guernica is right, our scales don't just always go straight down over and over.  There are breaks from gaining muscles from exercizing, there are breaks from our TOM, and of course from holding water.  

It has happened to me too!  I also have no restriction and have to work solely with counting calories and watching what I eat.  We can only forgive ourselves, vent with our OH friends and move on.  You'll do great!  Just pick up and keep going.  

Hugs!!

Thanks anonymous!  Its so comforting that there is this network of people out there who have been where i am that i can turn to for help or advice.  Youre right, we are the hardest on ourselves.  I think you really "hit the nail on the head" so to speak, when you said thats why we binge.  The first thing i thought of when i was heading home from the doctors office is how i would love to go scarf down some comfort food.  This is something i will probably have to battle for the rest of my life.  But today is a new day, and i've picked myself up, dusted myself off and got back on the wagon.

Thanks again!

Kel

 

Hang in there. The restriction will come. I had my doubts some at first. I am just a month ahead of you and finally have some now and it helps a lot. Don't beat your self up about the ice cream. I have some and cookies or what not every now and then. What I have finally realized to help is this isn't a diet anymore but a way of life. I try not to fall back into the "well I ate the pizza so might as well have some cake and start back on Monday" mentality. Treat yourself from time to time that's living. We just can't eat it all then plan to deprive starting monday train of thought anymore. That's the road to failure. The ups and downs happen. I gain 3-5 just from morning to night weigh in. Hang in there.

How come p.I.z.z.a. got edited out when typed normal. It's not that bad is it lol

Kelly,
I agree with the above posters.  This journey takes patience and lots of it.  This isn't an all or nothing process.  My weight goes up and down 2-3 pounds and I've learned that as long as the general loss is going down over a months time, then that's good.  A treat once in awhile is a good thing.  This is for life, it's not a diet.  We are on a journey to get healthier.  The band will help you, but you also have to do a lot of the work.  A year ago I would have never thought I would be almost a 100 pounds lighter.  I feel so much better.  I have not been 100% perfect.  I do my very best to follow the guidelines.  Exercise plays a big part in this journey also. 

Best wishes to you,
Kristi