Girls, Girls, Girls

Hey Fellas, I am about a 15 months post op and have lost about 150lbs so far.  I want to lose another 50lbs but I am pleased with the results so far.  One side effect has been a high amount of attention from women. I mean a lot of them. attractive, pretty, smart women.  My "problem" has been I'll date one, then move on to the next. I am scared of settling down with one or committing to one out of fear that something "better" is right behind them. And part of me is worried that I may be missing out on something good.  I don't want to think that all the attention has gone to my head but it has.  I don't want to become a "player" now that I am smaller but at the same time I don't want to "settle". This whole concept of dating is kinda foreign to me anyway. When I was over weight I had so many self esteem issues I could count the umber of women i dated on one hand.  I don't know, I guess some of you guys have experienced the same thing.

 Congrats on the weight loss. There's nothing wrong with moving on to the next  one over and over. Many people do that. Or, they finally meet someone the're comfortable with in the process. That's what happened to me. I was just shaggin everyone and ran into my current wife of 12 years. 

What you definitely DON'T want to do: 

Settle down with someone unless you're absolutely sure you'll be comfortable living with her 95% of the time.

So I would say just keep "moving on to the next" one until the next one feels like the right one. Defintely rely on prayer and intutition for an answer if you can. I'm not religious, but I think if you ask for guidance and help, you will receive.

Good Luck,

Dave

Bub,

Congrats on the weight loss and your current crop of problems!  Dating is a numbers game.  You've got to to go through a bunch of dates to find an acceptable percentage of what you could consider as "long term mates".  From that second pool you would whittle your selection down further.  That is the theory anyway.  Don't settle for anyone!  You've worked your ass off, literally, to get to where you are now and not to sound like a Tuna Towner you don't have to settle.  We settled when dating as fat folks.  That is no longer an option.  For what is worth to you the ladies of WLS also have the same issues regarding becoming an "attention *****".  Dude, all I can say is enjoy it while it last! 

Here is one theory I have heard. Leave it if it does not make sense for you.

IF you have always been heavy this is probably your first chance at the big dating scene you missed in high school or collage. You are living a second adolescence. Sit back and enjoy. You will grow up when the right combination presents its/her self.

If not always heavy you may be reliving some adolescence just because you feel so invigorated. And again sit back and enjoy.

Marc

I didn't mean to steal your thunder of your thread by posting the "gods gift to women" thread but between the women's Ron Lester's "heart throb" posts  I've read on OH, your post and the posing nude thread, I thought a discussion of the pitfalls of the newly found joy of self esteem was worthy. 

That being said, assuming you're single, I say have fun and enjoy your new found sense of self-esteem. Sooner or later, you'll know when you "stumble" upon the right mate and I can assure you it won't be just for physically attraction. 

Boner 

Congrats on the weight loss! Now, just rol with the flow, date the gals, and enjoy yourself. Don't try to manipulate things, either way. When, and if, the right one comes along, you'll know it.

I guess I'm pretty lucky in that regard. Even at 250ish, most women, other than the occasional knuckledragging mouthbreather, still have to stifle their natural impulse to throw rocks at my ugly ass. Even my wife told me the other day that she really likes me.......but just for a friend. I'm hoping that by the time I get to 210 or so, that a couple of barely functioning retards will make the mistake of test driving me. And in my wildest dreams, they're under 400 lbs and have no open sores. In the mean time, I've still got two hands.

 Have you thought of doing stand-up? That **** is hilarious, you are marketable! 

Congrats, dude (where's your Century and a Half Card, btw?)  ..  I wish I had that problem ..  ::sigh:: 

 But seriously, be careful you're not suffering from the transfer-addiction of "sex",  a  very common aftermath of WLS ..  In fact, we had a member of the Tex MB recently get into trouble (that sly dawg) b/c of that   He was married to a loving wife (w. a young child) and got caught dipping into two of the fellow TMB members after his surgery and dramatic weight loss ..  &:-x)   I take it you're single, so at least that won't be a complication if you do have the addiction ..

  If you find it getting out of control and you are truly moving around and too fast, you might want to seek counseling from someone qualified in that field .. 

  Good luck ..   

Thanks for all the advice fellas. I can say with confidence that I am not turning into a sex addict...yet   : ). Just Kidding.  With the loss of 150 lbs and about 40 or 50 to go I have some skin issues....so that for me has been working better than any Chastity belt could ever.  Maybe once I have my plastic surgery it wont be a big issue. 

I think the weight was really the only thing holding me back before. I owned two homes, had a great job at Merrill Lynch, drove a BMW....but I was 400lbs. I am not saying any of this to brag or boast at all, just saying I was doing "ok" before.  So now that I am not such a lard@ss anymore. I think women see me as a pretty good catch and are making it very known that they're interested in me.  And these are not 4 or 5's (on a scale of 10), there like 8 & 9's. So my head is spinning.

I think I have found a good "candidate" for the girlfriend position. But we shall see. I think begin at the ripe old age of 32, I am not really looking for flings anymore, but someone I can begin to build a life with. So it's about more than looks, substance is just as important.  But I do think that common sense, prayer, and wisdom will play an important role in my dating going forward.