what the h$ll am I doing? Freaking out right now

Im sitting at my desk just browsing the internet of Gastric Bypass and just got freaked out. I start thinking to myself what if I die!!!! Yes I know We all pass away as we get older ect.... but what if I die on the table or have complications and die. I have 5 children a loving husband and a grandson who all need me and I need to be alive for me. If I dont do this then Im sure to get some related medical issue and then what good will I be. I am just second guessing myself, Have I realy made an effort have I really tried my best. Is it my fault Im over weight? How can I be so desprite to have sugery to lose weight. I know Im doing this for me and my loved ones and I know I have tried and yes I know part of me being overweight is my fault and I take ownership of that, But do I really really want surgery. I want to Live and not die and be healthy and enjoy being me and enjoy life with my loved ones. I really dont think anyone in my family understand what I m going through. They all say your not Fat your just fluffy. Like really. Im a kind of person I dont like people to candy coat anything just say it haow it is. No need for tip toeing around me. I know I need this surgery and I know I want to live life to the fulless. I guess Im just scared. Thats all. Thanks for listening. Feel a little better since I typed it all out lol

 only you can decide if you need the surgery... I had all the same fears and thoghts.. maybe I tried a little harder or tried Jenny just one more time.. and then Dr. Phil's annoying voice could be heard in the background.. "How's that workin for ya?' .. seriously I was watching Dr. Phil at the time..lol

At some point we need to stop making the same decisions and expecting different results. I have been obese for 20 years.. time to kick it up a notch... I had surgery June 7 2012.. and never regretted a moment of it. 

Thank you Dee. its just fear talking. Dr Phil your so right lol

Thsi is normal, most of us go through the same thing.  Doubts, fear, second guessing our choice.  This is a decision that only you can make.  Talk to your social worker, get in contact with a weight loss surgery support group.  Change and surgery are scary.  You came to the right spot for support.  The only thing that I would change about having a RNY is that I wish I had it done sooner.  Life for me is so much better.   Not perfect but a lot better!! 

Lu

Oh hun i know how you feel but we are in part doing this for our kids and our self we need to be healthy and i cant wait to keep up to my kids this is not easy at all but we can do this Niki

I was told at 37 years old that at the rate I was going, I wouldn't make it to 50. My doctor suggested the surgery, and I said yes right away. I figured that if I allowed myself to continue with the route i was going, I would die in my 40's. There are risks with every kind of surgery, including this one. You are smart to do the research. It's also a huge undertaking as far as taking care of yourself with a new outlook on food and life in general.

I did it for my kids....and I'm glad I did....and now I can easily say I did it for me too.

 If you apply for the surgical criteria you're "FLUFFY"!  Mind if I use that one?  

There is a small risk you will die from the surgery or complications therafter.  Depending upon your size, your comorbidities and family history I would suggest the risk of death from those is much higher.  

My only regret is not doing it two or three decades sooner. 

Thanks everyone. Just one of those days Me and my fluffy self lol

I had those same fears.  This is why the doctors screen us so carefully, and make us have test after test - so if there is a problem they can expect it and be ready to fight it.  We met the criteria, therefor there are inherent risks, but if the doctors know what to expect then everyone comes out with better out comes.  Last year there was only one death and that was more than 4 weeks out (unsure if this is just HRRH or the Toronto/Ontario Bariatric program)  The stats were in one of the workbooks given to me by HRRH.

You are the only one who can choose this.  Best of luck.

I had the surgery when I was 60 so thinking I might not make it seemed very real. I made sure my will was up to date. We all worry about the idea of major surgery and for some reason the stats for this surgery is always spoken about. How about the stats for heart by-pass because you are obese and have blockage. How about the stats for a new hip (providing they would even do it). The weight is already shortening your lifespan. The bottom ine has to be if you want to take the chance either of having the surgery or roll the dice that you will live a long time obese.
I also wish I had the surgery before my joints and other health problems got so bad. I have a new life now.