A really good reflection on why women should not avoid family photos

This is amazing - and I recognize myself in this too.

http://deeperbreaths.com/2013/02/02/where-are-you/

"I had two separate conversations this week about body image and specifically the soundtrack in my head and the head of anyone who doesn’t fit society’s norm.

"One aspect of both of those conversations was an article I read a few months ago about women not being in photographs with their children because they were not yet skinny enough, put together enough…generally not anything enough to be photogenic. As it turned out we were then raising a generation of children who will have a minimal photographic record of their mothers."

And here's the blog article that she links to as well within her post, which is amazing:

http://myfriendteresablog.com/so-youre-feeling-too-fat-to-be -photographed/

"Can we agree to put the value of family over the value of fat? Can we just accept that the weight you’ve been trying to lose for 5 years might actually just be a part of what you look like . . . and that if this magical day does come when you’re acceptably thin you’ll STILL regret not having any pictures of you with your kids from ages 5 – 10? Can we acknowledge that the insecurities we have in our heads will never be a part of how our children, husbands, and friends see us? Can we just please let our loved ones remember the YOU they love?

"Your children want pictures with their mom.

"Your husband wants pictures with his beautiful wife.

"Your mom and dad want pictures of the happy, successful, amazing woman they raised (ok, and more pictures of the grandkids while you’re at it)

"And if you’re thinking that high school friend on Facebook will say to herself (“wow she has gained weight”) then . . . newsflash you DID. You gained weight. Shed a tear. Read a book. Drink a Sweet Tea. Watch Oprah. Whatever it takes. Accept this reality . . . YOU GAINED WEIGHT. The truth is you’ve gained a lot of other things too (a career, a family, some kids, a house, a love for travel, the ability to coordinate your separetes . . . ) and that girl from high school is going to spend a lot more time hating on those things then she ever will on your double chin.

"So you’re feeling too fat to be photographed? . . . Ok. But you’re the only one who notices. The rest of us are too caught up in loving you."

I just shared that on FB this morning. It is so true!

Amazing article, thanks so much for posting.

It has put into words what I have been thinking for quite some time while on this WLS journey.   I, for one, have always been a proponent of taking tons of pictures and being in them too.  Lots of albums downstairs (now electronically ) of many many happy family events, trips and activities at all my sizes (lol!).  Although the weight loss is very important to me and my health, I have a wonderful past full of many successes, tears, laughter and joys shared with my family that my kids will be able to look back on and remember fondly. Here's to the future and more wonderful pictures!

What a great post! I would add to it, that everyone isn't a photographer. Plenty of people take totally horrible pictures in bad light, wrong angles with composition that isn't fit for a dog's breakfast. When you compare that to someone who has just had a hour of make up, two hours of hair, a designer wardrobe fitted to them and a professional photographer in a studio or beautiful location they've rented, it's easy to get down on yourself for the slightest flaw, we being our own harshest critics. 

Something that really helps the old self esteem is seeing yourself in pictures by someone *****ally knows how to take a picture. It doesn't have to be some goofy glamor shots stuff but just something candid taken in the right light, in a good setting when you're looking and feeling great.

Normally someone gets paid 6 figures a year to help set up and prep a photo shoot for someone else. I know like myself, not everyone has the change sitting around for a image consultant and publicist. What you can do, is get a digital camera, or use the one in your phone even and take some pictures of yourself at various times and places. They can easily be deleted when you don't like them. The point is, you start to become familiar with what works for you. Your best angle, how to smile, where the light should come from to give you character and presence. This way, when the eventuality comes along where little Billy, uncle Ivan, well meaning hubby Bob or snap happy Anita whips out the Nikon, you will know what to do to help make those pictures great memories rather than something to fear or shy away from. 

The other thing.

People who know you, those that really count anyway, know the person you are. That's who they love and look forward to being with all the time. That's who they see in the photograph. Not the person we, as hyper critical judges of ourselves often see when  we show up in a photo. So go and be the bold, gorgeous man or woman you really are because that's you. 

 

Second amazing post in a row that I've read from you in the last two minutes, P_Floyd! 

One thing I've noticed with pictures for those of us with major double-chin action happening is that the angle is much better if the camera is looking down on our face rather than up!  But really, I should just get over it.  My family is jowly, and that's all there is to it, and even if I get skinny, I'll probably still have a double-chin.  So I should suck it up and quit avoiding cameras!

Thanks! 

Looking up helps too. The more the merrier as they say. 

Good article. I recognise myself in this article. There are very few pictures of me. I actually had trouble finding one for the before my surgery I posted. I am sorry now but I think at the time I was just ashamed of what I had let myslf become.

Yup, I hear you, Pat. I have a few "before" pictures, but not many.  And my husband and I have a rule - any picture he takes of me, I get to veto before it gets shown to anyone.  Most get vetoed.  Although, I think he does keep them somewhere on his computer anyhow...he doesn't always delete them...