How to answer them?

I had the same issues with some of my family. I am lucky though to have a couple of close friends who have gone through the surgery a few years back and they were able to answer any questions that my loved ones had. As Shelley says explain that this is super important to you and that it is one of the best ways to help you get healthy!! Hang in there and know that we are all rooting for you too...

It's hard when they worry so. They're grown up so they will adjust and accept things they can't change. It's your life now, right or wrong, it's your decision regardless of the risks. I know you know them and have weighed the issues carefully in making your choice to take this path. You're still going to need all that help, the changes in lifestyle, diet and working out, not to mention leading a more active life with them. 

That their concerns come from love for you, accept them graciously, though they can be trying at times. Try to reassure them that these are your well thought out wishes and that the longer more involved future you will have with them will in the end be worth all this. Hug them lots and get on with getting on. 

Best of luck in your up and coming. 

I think you are right.  They love you so much, that they don't want to even think about losing you.  These people will likely be your biggest supporters once you are post-op.  I agree with the poster above about helping to educate them.  My suggestion was going to be the same.  For the people closest to you, bring them along to an appointment or an information session.  Better yet, find either a formal support group, or coffee group and bring them along.  At my coffee group, there ate people in all different stages of the process, from per-op to 5 years post-op.  I think meeting people who have gone through it, and are living new, healthy, functional lives, would be a great way to help your loved ones see this as a positive choice for you.  Good luck- you are lucky to have so many people who love you immeasurably!  Give them time...they'll come around. 

EDIT TO ADD: I hate auto-correct!  So many mistakes us above, but my iPad wont let me correct them! so frustrating.  :D

Shell said it perfectly! 

Also, it might help them to read up a bit on weight loss surgery to help allay their fears.  My parents did a lot of reading about it when I first told them about it (I think they were relieved when they found out I was going to try this, because they have been watching me become more and more obese over the years and I think they were worried that I was going to die before they did).  They were also concerned at first about the risks, but when they read more about it, they realized what huge benefits there are to this surgery for people who are morbidly obese, and they were completely supportive.

Either way - it is your decision, as you know, and it's great that you have your husband's full support.  That is the really important thing - that you have the full support of the closest person to you.  (I know our kids are very important to us, but they're not our life partners.)  You don't need their permission or their support to do this, although it certainly is a nice-to-have.  After the surgery is done, they will see how healthy you become, and their attitudes will hopefully change, even if they don't before surgery. 

They're scared, just like we often are before surgery, and they love you.  Keep that in mind when they tell you this stuff, and know that they probably need reassurance that everything will be okay.  Maybe no amount of reassurance will make them feel okay about it, but that's something they will have to wrestle with themselves.  They probably don't mean to be unsupportive.

You are very lucky to have such a wonderful loving family. In regards to "love" between adults there is also "unconditional love". Maybe you might point out to them that you understand where they are coming from - but that right now you need their unconditional love and support. They are adults - as well as they are old and mature enough to make their own decisions, they should respect your capability to make your own decision. They might not fully agree with it - but they should be able to put that aside and be there for you. Ask them to respect your decision and trust your decision. reinforce again that you did all your homework - explain the risks pro and con.

My daughter also told me I take "the easy way out" - what we all know is not. I told her I respect her opinion but that is is not the case for me and that I would love to have her support. I know that deep down she still has the same feelings (lol) and that is ok. She, at this time, will not make any comments (good or bad) about my weight or weight loss - but she did purchase me a nice sweater in a much smaller size. And she also brought a nice veggie platter with low fat / low carb dip for a festive occasion "so I would be able to eat it". So her actions speak louder.... She also needed a bit more time I think.

As a lot of people said in the postings, maybe a bit more information might help them understand it better. And maybe your family needs some more time to come to terms with all this.

Best of luck - Take care

Thank you everyone, your words and support mean a lot.  Our families are sometimes our biggest supporters and sometimes our biggest critics but I wouldn't want to be with out them.  As some of you suggested, I don't really know anyone that has had the surgery so it hard to tap into that as a resource but certainly giving them more information, increasing awareness & education on the process and benefits may help.  I appreciate all your thoughtful responses. 

You're very lucky and should be crying and laughing openly for the love you have around you!  Everything in life that is worthwhile has risk attached to it.  Your Mom should know that and your kids will learn it.  Good luck on your journey!  

As a sidebar, and I have a bad habit of mentioning this when folks post anything about "I could die", please make sure your last will and testament are up to date, your kids guardianship is in order (and what happens if hubby dies a short time after you, accidents do happen), and power of attorneys are in order including a healthcare directive.  Its a lot of work if none of this is in place but should be regardless of whether your undergoing surgery or not.  Its simply a good time to get that part of your house in order if it isn't.  Just my opinion.  

Her kids are adults so guardianship is not an issue.

The only thing that will end this is having the surgery and doing well. They will see how you are doing and know it was the right move.

yes I guess I didn't pick that up on first read.  sorry.  But everything else remains as stated, wls is a good point to get the rest in order.  May or may not help the kids/mom but still a good thing.  

I did this before surgery - my husband and I got our wills done by a lawyer, and I made sure my beneficiary info was correct on all my insurance plans and pension.  At first, I thought maybe it was morbid (and I think my husband certainly thought so!) but strangely enough, once it was done, I really felt at peace, and my fear of the surgery subsided considerably.  I think I just felt completely prepared at that point, no matter what happened.