Please help, I need some advice

Carmela V.
on 1/17/15 8:18 am - Whitby, Canada
RNY on 01/30/15

Well here goes, I am currently on my 9th day of opti and very excited.  My family is a great support, I have told the people I trust and respect about my surgery.  Everyone has been very supportive, okay so maybe one of my friends was not so.  Funny, she was the one friend that you would think would be very supportive.  But, who cares she is just a friend not a very good friend for that matter.  So here is my problem, I did not want to tell my in-laws about the surgery.  But last night they called and want to come over and take us out for dinner.  My mother in-law is the type of person that is not very supportive, she is very opinionated even when she doesn't have any facts and the entire family and all her friends will know.  Which I don't think it is anyone's business except mine.  They wanted to come over today but my husband told them that we are busy,  so they will be coming over next week.  My surgery will be the following week.  I can't go out for dinner, I cant even order a salad or soup because the salad will have salad dressing and the soup will have too much fat in it.  How do I get myself out of this without being rude or telling them?

Referral sent Mar. 28, 2014, Orientation July 10, 2014, Surgeon Consultation Sept. 12, 2014, Internist Dr. Glazier Oct. 6, 2014, Sleep Test Oct.17, 2014,  RD Nov. 24, 2014, SW Nov. 24, 2014, RN Nov. 24, 2014, Dr. Sohi (2nd appt.) Dec. 2, 2014, Dr. Glazier (2nd Appt.) Dec. 16, 2014, Surgery day  - HRRH Jan. 30, 2015. HW 309, Opti Starting Weight 305, SW 288, Operating Surgeon Dr. Starr

    
highlandbear
on 1/17/15 8:23 am - Canada

i would let your husband go and pretend that you are sick. There is the flu bug going around. This way you are not being rude and you are not telling them. I am sure others will come up with better ideas

 

pegawatt
on 1/17/15 8:55 am - Canada

you've done nothing to be ashamed of just go ahead and tell it like it is you are doing this for you to live healthier and be your best so your not taking the easy way out who deforms their insides for anything but what U need to do to be a better U

Pamela.S.
on 1/17/15 9:09 am - Canada

What are you planning to tell them when you start losing weight? I know someone who told people she is doing Dr Poon. 

I'm having surgery Feb 5, and decided to tell most of my coworkers because they will figure it out once I'm back from my surgery. So far I've been pleasantly surprised by the support.

    

Referral Sept/13, changed centres to HRRH - Orientation Mar 24/14.  Feb 5, 2015 - SURGERY!!!! HW 286.4 SW 264

        

Kittykatt1329
on 1/17/15 9:02 am - Alfred, Canada

I agree with previous person.  Just say you are sick, this way you don't have to get into confrontation before surgery and have you 2nd guessing.  You are going to already be anxious so just try to avoid if possible. 

  

        

Carmela V.
on 1/17/15 9:37 am - Whitby, Canada
RNY on 01/30/15

These are all really great suggestions.  I was thinking that telling them that I have the flu is a good idea, it's just what if they post pone it for the following week for even the week after my surgery.  I still won't be able to eat out.  

OMG, I don't know what to do.  I don't understand why they would even be coming over since months usually go by between visits and we were over on Christmas Day and again for her birthday on the 28th of December.  I thought that we should be good till at least March.

 

Referral sent Mar. 28, 2014, Orientation July 10, 2014, Surgeon Consultation Sept. 12, 2014, Internist Dr. Glazier Oct. 6, 2014, Sleep Test Oct.17, 2014,  RD Nov. 24, 2014, SW Nov. 24, 2014, RN Nov. 24, 2014, Dr. Sohi (2nd appt.) Dec. 2, 2014, Dr. Glazier (2nd Appt.) Dec. 16, 2014, Surgery day  - HRRH Jan. 30, 2015. HW 309, Opti Starting Weight 305, SW 288, Operating Surgeon Dr. Starr

    
(deactivated member)
on 1/17/15 9:42 am - Bumfuknowhere, Canada

Someone you trust may have let the cat out of the bag so that is why they are visiting.  I would use the sick card and if they suggest the next week, you are still sick.  Lots of people are sick for weeks on end with it.

Carmela V.
on 1/17/15 9:44 am - Whitby, Canada
RNY on 01/30/15

No one on my husband side of the family knows, just my family and they don't talk to each other except for my kids birthdays

Referral sent Mar. 28, 2014, Orientation July 10, 2014, Surgeon Consultation Sept. 12, 2014, Internist Dr. Glazier Oct. 6, 2014, Sleep Test Oct.17, 2014,  RD Nov. 24, 2014, SW Nov. 24, 2014, RN Nov. 24, 2014, Dr. Sohi (2nd appt.) Dec. 2, 2014, Dr. Glazier (2nd Appt.) Dec. 16, 2014, Surgery day  - HRRH Jan. 30, 2015. HW 309, Opti Starting Weight 305, SW 288, Operating Surgeon Dr. Starr

    
(deactivated member)
on 1/17/15 9:47 am - Bumfuknowhere, Canada

Hubby may not have let it slip to his parents?  Might just be coincidence that they want to visit so I'd play the sick card.  If they stop by the house first, just have your jammies on and don't wash your hair for a few days to look gross and be wrapped in a big blanket so they buy it lol

Cant-wait14
on 1/17/15 10:18 am - Canada

Why don't you tell them you are having abdominal surgery or women problem surgery and tell them you are pre op and can't eat - this way they won't know why but still know you are going in for surgery

 

I will be having my surgery the day before you at HRRH - Hope to see you in the halls

 

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