Why do people feel the need give advice??

I understand that when you ask for an opinion, you have to listen and take from it what you want. That goes for this post, I know.....

Yesterday I was chatting with a friend of a friend who had gastric bypass years ago and has regained all of the weight. She then asked me if I have had any plastics done. I told her that I had breast augmentation last month and am having a mini TT next month. She went on to tell me to think about the TT because she knows people who have died having that done. (You know, her hairdressers husbands second cousin thing.)  I did hear some of this before my RNY but it didn't get to me the way this did.

Why do people like to tell horror stories to pregnant women and people having elective surgery??

Thanks for listening to me rant!!

Martha

I think because they want to have everyone so scared that they aren't able to do anything but sit in their houses!!!  I've never understoof the pregnancy thing either  - it's too late to go back and the person wants a baby and you are trying to scare them to death??  Really!

I follow the "if you can't say something nice" philosophy.  Be positive!  If someone asks for the truth and it's not great, don't sugar-coat it, but otherwise I'm a glass half-full kinda gal.

First, when you think about it, all surgery is elective.  No one gets cut open against their will.  Everyone signs a consent form.  Cancer surgery, heart surgery - you name it - it's all elective.

No one would ever say, as you face down open heart surgery that "gee, I know someone who died from that."  But, there's a certain license that folks take when they perceive that your surgery is cosmetic in nature - like WLS or plastics.  Pure and simple, these are mean, jealous people.  They are not looking after your welfare, but rather they are jealous that you will end up better off after the procedure. 

Along similar lines, my best friend since Kindergarden, said more than once that she didn't want me to get a face lift last year because when we went out people would think she was my mother!
We're still best friends and I respect her for being honest with her feelings - at least she didn't have some crazy hidden agenda.  She admitted that if she had the money, she'd get one too. 

If you can't flush these people out of your life, at least tune them out.  I keep my surgeries very private - just immediate family and my very closest friends.

Good luck with your work. 

Sometimes it's the green eyed monster rearing it's ugly head.........it could be that they are jealous....they are either too afraid to have the surgery, can't afford to have the surgery, or perhaps have not reached goal and can't have the surgery so they don't want you to have it either.  Of course it could just be that they are unhappy and don't want anyone else to be happy.

Personally unless someone in the medical field and is a respected authority I wouldn't give much considering to the hairdressers second cousin's brothers wife's third cousin.....  :-)

Do your own research, find a surgeon you are confident in and listen to your gut.

 I know, I'm a chicken, but that's exactly why I chose not to tell very many people about either my RNY done in 2000 or my plastics done in Aug. this year. I'm not ashamed at all, but it really is nobody else's business. I find the same people are the ones who basically know a little about everything and want to tell people how to live their lives, raise their children...etc etc. you know the type. Well, I have not hidden the LBL but I don't go out and publi**** either. If someone comments about my weight or how good I am looking, I just say Oh, I got a TT and feel so much better.....Some actually are supportive, and some whisper ( I'm sure) behind my back. But you know what, in the end, we live with those we cherish most and with ourselves and what others who are casual acquaintances ( and sometimes friends and famiy) think really doesn't count....I did the ps, feel 100% better and more confident within myself and therefore, give 100% more to those around me....Anyway, just my thoughts and experience with the whole ps thing....LN

Aww ... my gramma used to say "Opinions are like bellybuttons -- everyone has one, and most of them stink."

Sorry that happened to you!

Perfect!!!!  That put it right into perspective  

No social skills!

I know what u mean.  I did almost die when I had my daughter 10 years ago and I was scared about giving birth to my son.  That's why they are 7 years apart.  But I do not feel the need to scare every pregnant person I come into contact with about my experience and I was a healthy 20 year old at the time.  Now if someone were to say they are planning a home birth, I would probably suggest that they think about that cuz anything can go wrong and had I been giving birth at home, I would have died.  I didn't tell my family about my bypass.  I did tell a few friends about getting implants and I kept hearing stories about how some Drs just take your money and fill your boobs with oil, water and whatever they could find and the women were getting sick and dying.  There were just other horror stories as well.  I don't know why they couldn't just say "That is awesome, you are going to look fantastic!!!"  The only supporters I had are from this site.