Thinking backing out

 I think second thoughts, especially the guilt over spending the money, are common.  It happened to me, too.  

Only you can determine just how unhappy, or just how significant the problems are with your excess skin.  And only you know just how deep you have to dig to spend the money.
 
For me, it wasn't an easy decision.  I'm 47 years old and happily married for 20 years.  It's not like I had to worry about anyone other than my husband seeing my naked body.  I always said while I was losing weight that as long as I looked ok in clothes I would be happy.  Sadly, that wasnt true as I got smaller.  

It's also not the case that I had the money for my plastics lying around (all the work I had done was $20K +).  We managed, but I did feel guilty.  I also had the fear that I would be less than satisfied with the results and think it wasn't worth it.

That being said, I'm thrilled with the results.  I tell people that my WLS gave me my health, and my PS gave me my self confidence and happiness.  

Good luck with your decision.

Perhaps you should postpone your surgery and consider talking through your concerns with a therapist? I hope I'm not overstepping some bounds by saying that, but some of the things you say here are cause for concern. If the surgery is causing you this much worry and pain, then by all means feel free to cancel. It just also sounds like you're thinking of pulling out because you don't feel you're "worth" spending money on.

With or without surgery, you deserve to feel good about yourself. Also, there's absolutely nothing wrong with doing something for yourself, as you are just as much of a priority as your kids and home are. Good luck with your decision.

while your thinking this thru... maybe you would be happier with a more simple TT (and less costly)  or you might want to consider getting it done from Dr. S in Mexico...just some thoughts... I know it's a tough decision.  Good luck, Jenny

Wow. I agree with the others that maybe some therapy is needed. I am older than you and a single mom of 2 with no "babby-daddy". I AM worth it (and my surgery was 4 times as much as yours) and have NO regrets. Doing something for my mental health has made me a BETTER mom to my kids.

I hope you figure out how to work through this.

Laura

Few thoughts:

1.  Agree it is chunk of change at the Holidays.  Ever consider waiting till after New Year?

2.  Given the divorce rate for WLS folks never say never to anybody but your husband seeing you sans apparel.

3.  You need to see yourself as worthy of dropping the money on.  Like the ladies have mentioned it will do wonders for your self-esteem.  Not that I know because I'm still preplastics but I do know a few things about human nature.

Thanks everybody.

I think part of the problem is that when I went into this, I was thinking after the new year.  Then they got all pushy and said had to be before Jan 3rd. So I said after christmas and they said it was already booked and dec 6th was only day they had left.  So I'm feeling rushed and a little "used car lot salesman" syndrome. (NOT a knock on the docs at all, their results are awesome from the pics I've seen)

Its not all of our savings.  But its about half of the cash part of what we have. 

I keep being told "do it" from friends and family.

I just need to think.

Sorry you are experiencing some second thoughts.  But consider it a gift....and don't feel bad if you pause and take a look at the situation from various perspectives.  Don't feel pressured by the doctor's to schedule asap.  They are not going anywhere and they need patients by the very nature of their program....so you hold the power.   Also, don't feel obligated to go through with this just because your family and friends say to do it.  It is awesome you have their support...but you will have it at a later time too if you choose to delay the procedures. 

You have been given wonderful suggestions, but I also want to add that make sure it is the best time for you.  Your ticker mentions you want to lose 20 more pounds.  Are you at your goal and have held a stable weight?  If not...maybe that also gives credence to delaying a bit.  I know in my experiences, I want my body to be at the desirable weight and hold it stable before I undergo such an altering experience.  I want to have the best long lasting results and if I need to gain or lose a bit, or have not been stable for a significant period of time, I may be just rushing into things.  

Again....the program you chose is not going anywhere, so if you need to take time to rethink things, do it.  Sometimes just giving yourself time from the consults to really digest things helps.  I notice you posted getting a TT vs LBL...did you have a chance to get solid opinions from the doctors?   

I think you should consult with another surgeons office.  First off they might have awesome pictures, but they (the scheduler) are being less then professional.   They are pushing you into a surgery date...this is not how a surgeon should operate.  I work for a reconstructive surgeon and know that it is very hard to fill dates around the holiday's.  Most people do not want to be recovering during this time.  We never blackmail a patient into taking a date by saying that if you don't take this date we don't know when we can schedule you.  Just my thoughts.