Bride of Frankenstein

Kay,

Your story brought me to tears..My DH has similar feelings too.. We have great DHs.. Now, if they can hang in there for the recovery.

Michelle

Kay, You are very fortunate to have such a lovable husband. Your Frankenstein story was cute. In many ways this is a solo journey, but our loved ones are also involved at points as we travel it.

Thank you for your poignant story.


gail

 Great story.  I tried to show my husband before and afters, but he was totally grossed out.  And when I asked him if he wanted to see the results post-TT he said NO WAY!

Honestly - my feelings were a bit hurt.  I was worried he'd think I was freaky forever.  But I really think it was just the scars and blood and yuck that grossed him out.  And in that case, probably better that he didn't see it and remember it!

My husband was very behind me having the surgery.  I would stand in front of the mirror with my "40 longs" and my hanging belly.  He could see I was not happy.  I had lost all that weight and was just disgusted with my body after.  I never ever thought I would feel that way.  It actually surprised me.  He said that I should do whatever I needed to be happy.  I had the full TT (fleur de lis, panni, lipo, breast lift and implants.  He was thrilled with the results scars and all.  I am so much happier too.  I don't look in the mirror in disgust.  I actually can look at myself naked.  I don't have flopping skin when I workout.  There are issues here and there with the surgery but I'm overall happy.  I don't really notice the big scars.  And, everyone tells me how great I look. 
Now, he does give me fits about taking the time to exercise and I've explained to him that I didn't come all this way to gain it back.  He gives me a lot of fits about working out.  I work long hours, work different shifts and we have kids. 
Girls, one thing I have learned is that we are more than wives and mothers.  Those roles are very important.  But, we didn't get this way by putting ourselves first.  We need to take care of ourselves.  We are important too.  If we aren't healthy, we can't take care of anyone well.  We are different after our surgery.  It was lifesaving and life changing.  The problem is that our partners and family didn't change.  I figure that they are just going to have to get used to the new me.  I get strange comments from long term friends etc that aren't always positive too.  Again, everyone is adjusting to the new you and maybe a new role.  You aren't the fat wife, friend, etc.  You may be threatening the role they saw you in.  It's just a huge adjustment.  I'm almost 2 years out and I still feel everyone dealing with it.  I remind them that this is a lifelong journey and I'm not going back.

Kay,

I can only imagine that all of this change is VERY hard for a spouse. My husband of 23 years is suddenly becoming jealous, and it's driving me CRAZY!! I'm not the type that enjoys jealousy, and I don't feel like I'm doing anything to provoke it. 

You and your husband look so happy in the pictures on your page. I can tell that he's with you through thick or thin, so I'm sure he'll get past this, too. I bet the scars are scary, if for no other reason than because he does not like to think of you being in pain from so much surgery. My husband can sit and watch awful movies with blood and guts, but when I show him an "after" picture, he freaks out and says "I TOLD you I don't want to see that stuff". 

I remember when I had a lift 18 years ago (where they go in around the areolas), my son was just barely able to talk (two or three). He walked in the bathroom when I was undressing, and it was just a few days after my lift. He pointed and said "They cracked open". Boy, did I throw something on quickly and try to laugh that off!

Those scars and any puckering will heal quickly. Here's a link that I found and saved because it shows the transition from surgery to healing so very well. Maybe you can show this to your husband and help him understand how well things will heal up. Check out the boob picture just before the black dress pics. I have no idea who this girl is, so I hope she does not mind me posting the link to her pics. It's an open forum, so I assume that it's not a big deal. Hope not, anyway...

http://www.realself.com/review/pennsylvania-mommy-makeover12

Great post! 

I tend to hide my extra skin from my fiance. (we live together and are getting married March 31st, plastics shortly after, God and insurance willing haha!) Anyhow, I happen to have one of those men who pass out at the site of blood or needles. I've MADE him look at before and afters so he wont go into shock. I tell him I will look like a Mac truck ran over me and someone sewed me back up very poorly LOL.  He's a truck driver so that analogy made perfect sense to him!!  He is excited about my plastics but I've promised not to "wave" my incisions at him, thankfully I have my mama here to help with the bandages and whatnot!