Dying Inside.

I am a newbie; only 2 weeks post op, but I went through this, also.  Once you see the weight start to come off and actually see your surgery WORK for you, you get a better perspective.  Remember you had the surgery because you were sick and tired of being FAT...you didn't like the way you felt after a lifetime of eating stuff like that any place/any time.  Also remember, normal sized folk don't eat like we used to....ever.....that's how they stay the way they are....slim and healthy....by actually be cognizant of what they eat and when they eat it.  You, too, will develop this mindset....I'm still working on it, but I can see my behavior changing.  And behavior change takes time....hang in there, sweetie....from one newbie to another, just wait until your pants start to feel loose, and the smile on your face from that will easily replace any good feelings from that donut (or two or six) you used to have....

Hello, I too have wondered "WHAT have I done"  I had my surgery on June 20th, So now I have this wierd thing going on where I cook my family all this yummy food including pies made from scratch and then i get to smell them.  It does not make me want to eat it though I don't know why.  I always turned to food in times of stress now I just live with it and I have to say its getting better all the time.  Going on vacation next week to see my family for a couple of weeks and that will be the real test..

Miss1978,  We had surgery on the same day and I'm with you.  It's not so much that I miss certain types of food, but I just "feel' like I should be eating.  It also seems as if my husband and 2 boys eat constantly.  I never noticed it before - probably b/c I was eating with them.  But now it really seems to bother me.   I actually called my surgeon's office yesterday b/c I am still on clear liquids.  My f/u w/ him is next Monday and I was asking if I should/could increase my intake to more liquids such as protein shakes --something other than water.  They said that I could increase to the pureed stage of the diet.  So, I tried some of the baby food that I purchased prior to surgery.  However, I have to admit it was pretty not good!  So, I'm back on clear liquids today.   I was telling my husband last night how strange it is not to be eating at all.  Not that I'm craving any particular food, I just feel wierd.  He suggested that I call the psychologist that I saw prior to the surgery for an appointment.  I really don't want to, but maybe I should... I too had several days where I wondered why anyone would do this to themselves.  I even verbalized that to my mom and she said "is this the first time you thought about that?"  Lesson learned! Thanks for posting this.  It has helped me. Abbie  I'm sorry that you are going through this, but know that you are not alone. 

It does get easier you are still very early stages where most people mourn the loss of their best friend which was food.  As time goes on and you are able to eat more things it gets easier.  I find things taste very sweet so I don't want to eat them.  Then it took a while to get into the mid set that I have orked so hard to loose the weight that I do not want to gain weight and become unsuccessful.  I do eat pizza on occasion and it is usually just on meduim size piece I could never eat a large piece.  Occasionally I eat chinese food but it doesn't settle with me very well so I may have a piece of chicken but no rice or anything.  If I crave french fries I may eat 3 or 4 to stop the craving.  I do not eat candy, cookies or drink soda.  i try not to deprive myself either but most of the junk I ate beore surgery I no longer want.  This surgery has forced me to change my lifesyle or the best!  Keep your chin up and things will get better!  Good Luck!

Oh, it is so hard in the begining, so so hard. I remember once when my family ordered pizza I was drooling over the pizza as I ate my soup. But this shall pass, I promise. Once you start losing weight you will think about the fat and calories and probably won't want that pizza. Another option once you're further along though is eating a slice on thin crust pizza. (www.hungryhowies.com) A lot let carbs and calories and it's yummy too. I haven't had in awhile, but when I did I had one slice of thin crust pizza and a salad. But again, I don't crave that food too much. It will change for you too!

I am 9 months out and still understand where you are coming from. There are certain days where you miss food. Those days are few and far in between but they are there. I went with a friend to CT last week and we went to Mystic Pizza where the film was made and I got a pizza burger and she had the pizza. It smelled so good, so I had a bite. That was it. It satisfied my craving and I didn't go overboard. i ate most of the burger and said if I had the craving still I would have a bite. I did, I loved it I moved on. I find the best way for me to make sure I stop is to pop a s/f mint or gum in my mouth. It keeps me busy til I can drink again. This will get better, and you will be sooo happy. I went from 265 to 161 in 9 months. I am wearing a size 8 from a 24. The pros of this lifestyle change  out weigh the cons for me. If you want something have a bite. Try it. My family went to a feast and brought back those little fried dough balls with sugar and I said I want a bite. I took one and spit it right out. It tasted too sweet and like I took a sip of oil. It was gross. Guess what know I wont try that asgain. Also play with your foods. See what you can do to make them low fat and full of flavor. Use baking splenda for sweet treats. Yesterday Io made a homemade egg nog that was nly 100 calories for 1/2 cup and it had 5 grams of protien.  Godd luck!!! You will do great!

There are a couple of blogs on my profile that you may find helpful.  One is a recipe for meat-crusted pizza.  I think the key is to find healthy substitutes for the foods we loved before surgery.  The other is an explanation about hibernation syndrome which you are the right amount of time post-op to be starting.  It makes you very emotional and tired and can trigger your need for your old comfort foods.  It helped me to know this was a phase that I would soon be out of.  Prayers and hugs, Sandi

Hi,  I also had surgery the same day as you and have been feeling the same way.  Two days ago I was actually feeling like I was hungry and that was scarey to me.  I think it will get easier for us as we get farther away from remembering what the food tasted like, also.  I'm sure it won't taste as good as we remember when our taste buds get used to a cleaner,  healthier fare.   i will be praying for you and hope that in a few days this passes. Paula

This is going to sound crazy but I never mourned food post-op. I was terrified pre-op about the change of relationship to eating but actual food itself I never missed. I think it's because I went into WLS thinking I could have anything I wanted again just as long as I did it with a healthy intent and stayed on track. I am a Chicago girl from birth. My entire family and family in law lives in Chicago. So the liklihood of me being able to eat Chicago style pizza again is great. And you know what? I will enjoy ever single bite I take. I am not on a diet. I make good healthy choices everyday and if I choose to eat an oozey fat filled stuffed pizza from Uno's I'm not going to regret one bite. Because I will eat less than one normal slice and have a salad along with it so I get some vegetables. It all comes down to choices. So if I have fat filled pizza one day that doesn't mean I reheat the leftovers the next day. I enjoy it that one meal. Then I don't go overboard.  Some WLS people downright refuse to enjoy anything like pizza again. More power to them if that's what they want.  I personally think choosing to enjoy foods I enjoyed pre-op again in a healthier manner is going to make me a great success in the future. If WLS was about self deprivation I personally wouldn't have gotten it.  Now one thing that concerns me is the comment you are "dying inside" because of your inability to consume these foods at all or in excess. What does pizza do to make you feel alive inside? All it is is a meal that is tasty and hits the spot once in a while when you have a taste for it. How does pizza make you whole? How does anything made with flour or yeast or cheese or sugar or fat make you feel complete? You need to work on these issues before you're able to enjoy these foods again without going overboard in my opinion. There is a fine line where you have to be able to say no when you want to eat something really bad or stop and reflect on why you did eat something. If you can't do these things I'm afraid you need to stay away from your trigger foods. But keep coming here and going to support groups and sharing and learning and listening. And seek counseling for severe food issues. It's going to lead to great success down the line! Good luck. You are in control - let pizza be what it is. You are not made up of flour, sauce, and cheese.

Big Hugs Miss1978.  What you're going through is completly normal.  It will pass as you recover and move back to "normal" foods.  Remember everything in moderation & protein first.  Hang in there, you'll be okay.