OT: gotta rant....gotta vent....daughter broke our trust

We went through this with our daughters years ago. Teenage daughters absolutely SUCK! Vent all you want Dawn..I'm there for ya.

To give you an idea on how I used to rant. I have a step mother who I didn't like much (comes with the territory) but when I became a step mother myself I learned what real hate was. They LOATHED me...The oldest was 18 years old and living on the streets and turned up pregnant. She couldn't get along with mom so I begged dh to take her in. I'll help her. This will build our relationship. Yeah, that worked! I took her to and paid for lamaze classes. I helped deliver our first grandchild. I wasn't even married to dh at the time. When bundle of joy came home SD1 turned into the wicked witch. She absolutely turned on me. Told SD2 "you don't have to listen to her, she's not your mother." and then had boys come over after we were asleep and slept with them.. SEVERAL of them. She was headed for a baby #2, right under our own roof! So I left on vacation and told future dh why. He took it for about two new york minutes and left to come and get me, telling SD1 that he didn't want her there when we got home.

This has happened, more or less, more than a couple of times with all the girls...ALL OF THEM. I try and do forgive but we've done that more than a hundred times. We let them back and they shoot us in the foot...

Suffice it to say that none of our daughters will get one red cent when we pass this world. They've gotten their inheritance already. All the things we've done for them is inheritance enough!

And I also need to add that I call my step mother all the time and apologize for what an ass I was as a teenager...She knows why I call, that's for sure. Anyone with teenage daughters will understand your pain...I'd love to say "this too shall pass." but I'm just not sure it ever does...I'm sorry.

I really, really, really hope she doesn't get knocked up.  Her doctors and I keep telling her how chemo will produce a less than healthy baby...and BRAT says that they are NOT having sex...YEAH RIGHT!!!  And I have the body of a 20 yr old....LOL

We have put her on birth control but it does interfere with her labs and the docs don't get a clear reading when it comes to her endocrinology reports...but we have to do what we need to keep her "baby free".

Dawn

Dawn:

Oh, my prayers are with you. You are in such an impossible situation.  If your daughter were healthy, it would be one thing, but I'm sure it's hard for you to discipline her with the current situation.  If only cancer did away with teenage hormones!

Do they still make chastity belts? 

Or, even better, maybe you can have DUMB neutered in his sleep?  It would probably do wonders for his disposition.

Just a thought ...

Julianne

Jul,

I like that idea....and I'll tell ya, if he keeps up his attitude, I will neuter him right where he stands!  LOL

Dawn

I personally wouldnt mind if someone "accidentally" pushed my daughters BF over the grand canyon! Know of anyone??

In this economy, I'm sure there are many unemployed "removers" looking for steady work.  They might even provide their own cement shoes.

Julianne

LOL your probably right!!! I should look into that!

Puggydawn, I'm sorry to hear that your daughter has cancer. But cancer or not, she needs discipline. You are the boss, the head of the household. I know you want to do what is best for your daughter because she will probably have limited time here on this earth but you shouldn't be bending over backwards for her boyfriend. Your husband should be backing you up instead of being caught in the middle. You should tell this BF of your daughter that as long as he resides in your house, he is to get a job and he is to contributate (i.e. cleaning, cutting grass) like any other member of the household and that if you find that he is doing drugs or hanging out with a bunch of ********ers...then he's got to go.

Also, your daughter is right. If you have a problem with the BF then you need to address it with him. You are not a doormat for this guy to walk all over you.

I know you're right...right down to my core but if I push, she'll just run into his arms. 

We are battling whether she will continue treatment to extend her life and she is wearing me down.  If I get one more treatment for her to go through or a surgery to remove one of her tumors then my motives and ass kissing as worked to extend her life.

She really does have me by the "short hairs" because as a parent ~ we'll doing anything for our children to live!  This is one of those times!

thank ya,
Dawn

I've become victim to your same situation over my granddaughter. She had a "guy" about a 18 months ago, who claimed his parents kicked him out of his house, and no where to go. He came here for about 2-3 weeks.  Stupid me, I added another phone line to my cell phones for him. 3 weeks later he was out of here, and I'm almost finished paying for a 2 years phone contact--which was only used 3 weeks. Turned out he was a gang member, and when we found photos of him and our granddaughter on a home computer (at a gang party), he was GONE.

More recently, my granddaughter had a boy friend who went to the same school. He was on probation, so he was going to the correctional education school, where my wife works. My GD was there to graduate, as she had "emotional issues" with her high school, due to a sexual assault.  Long story made short--this guy was a gang member too, had drug issues, and the worst of all--my granddaughter had drug issues now too. 

I'd boot this DUMB out of my home. It sounds like he has issues, likely due to drugs and gang affiliation.  Don't fall victim to sympathy, and too many kids today know how to "play the sympathy card".  DUMB should be history. DAVE