It will get better.... ugh

Like so many newbies (surgery one month ago next Tuesday) I feel lost and alone.  I feel like nothing is the same anymore... and wonder if I will be successful.  A great passion of mine is scrapbooking/making cards.  We have crop night every other Friday.  I have avoided them because there is so much food.  I went went late last night becuase I so wanted to get back into my life.  I don't think I ever realized how much people talk about food.  ugh. 

Yesterday I had a protein bar, 1/2c egg salad with 6  club crackers and then at the swap I had about 1/3 cup of sloppy jo and 1/4 c hot wing dip.  Then later ate like 4 crackers which the whole time I was eating them all I could think was "I should not be having these..."  When I look at the day I realize I am so much beyond where I was before becasue I would have eaten all that plus much much more.   So guess that's good.  Is the fact I eat a cracker here and there an indication that I will not be successful at this or am I developing habits that while not perfect are a better alternative to anything I have done in the past?

My plan calls for only 3 meals a day and no snacking.  I am going to talk to the NUT next time and tell her I need ways to incorporate healthy snacking or I feel I will be doomed.  Does this sound reasonable?

To make matters worse - the scale feels like it is creeping down ever so slowly.  My surgery weight was 324 and I am currently 306.  But having siad that, I think I have dropped only a half pound in the past week.

I know my posts are rediculously long - but I just need to get this stuff out there.  Thanks for reading!  This board is incredible!

Feel free to make your posts as long as need.. that's why its here.   I think you are doing GREAT!!!  I would up your protein and loose the crackers(for now)  I never realized how much people talked about food and how much people actually ate until I couldn't. Its crazy!!!  My plan also calls for only 3 meals a day and no snacking but really at this point we are getting so little food in  my NUT said to add some protein based snacks into my diet to make sure I hit my goal for the day.  So no I don't think its unreasonable at all.  24 lbs in a little under a month is FANTASTIC!!!! You are not alone...

 I can relate to the feeling alone and wondering if this is going to work out for the better in the end. Going into super markets makes me feel upset. Just looking at all the stuff i may never be able to eat again..who knows at this point if i dump. Will i ever be allowed cheeses or chips and salsa or a few dorritos?? im sure the answer is yes but 3 weeks out of surgery and all i eat is egg salad soup and riccotta it seems like no end is in site. i know at my support group they consider crackers pretzels etc "slider foods" yet im allowed to have 4-5  whole wheat ones pretty soon...im just confused and concerned about every little thing i eat. i stressed all day about weather to eat a dannon light and fit yogurt for christ sake...ahhh gotta go make a protein drink

My NUT said that a few crackers combined with some protein is fine.   You are ahead of me though with food (I can not wait to eat a protein bar!) and have not had a cracker yet.   For me, I can only eat small amounts of pureed/soft (again....sloppy joes, I can only dream) and I get nervous trying new things.....I eat more than 3 meals a day cause there is no way I can get my protein in without spreading it out more.  It sounds though like you felt a little out of control last night.  I try to not eat carbs unless I have my protein in for the day......also, mindless eating is never good.   As far as the losing a little this week, many have a stall around 3 weeks and I know I did this past week (broken today).  I think you have to look into your heart and think about how you felt when you were eating last night........if it didn't feel good then it may not be healthy......maybe having brought your own "safe" snacks would help.

I wish you the best of luck......this is a journey and we are learning every day!!!!  Hopefully your nutritionist can also help!

I also would eliminate the crackers.  Why don't you take something to crop night that you can eat?  That is what I usually do.  I often take a fresh fruit bowl (strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, fresh pineapple, etc.).  it is expensive and everyone else eats it, but I love fresh fruit.

I have eliminated most foods with flour but every now and again have a 100% whole grain cracker - AkMak is my favorite.

Always have protein first - meals and any snacks.  I have to watch sugar and sloppy joes the wing dip would have too much sugar for me.

Make sure you have plenty to drink with you and take a ready to drink protein or drink a protein drink right before you go - I find they keep me full for several hours.

Stay on your plan, measure your food, keep a food log and add up calories, protein grams, ounces of fluid, grams of carbs, etc. and see if you are out of balance anywhere.

Also make sure to take all vitamins and supplements.  Best wishes to you.  FYI - I was a slow loser, but I've lost weight every month since RNY.  I made goal at month 23.  Hang in there and do the next right thing.

 This reminds me on how different some NUTs are - mine said to aim for 6 "snack-size" meals a day, so that's spreading out the protein thru the whole day. Also, carbs are a trigger for me so I'd just given them up almost completely (except for those in occasional strawberries, veggies & dairy). However, right now on day 5 of my 2 week liquid pre-op diet so solid food is just a faint fantasy for me...

Hey I'm a scrapper too! Personally I would eat before you go to crop night. Its easier for me to not eat anything then it is to try and eat a little. Snacking is dangerous for me. I eat 3 meals a day-plus a protein drink but there have been a few days where I have snacked. And I know I eat way better now then I did before surgery but I also know I don't need those snacks.

So when it comes to group gatherings- If its meal time I will eat and if not I pass on the snacks.

When I'm around people eating - I just keep reminding myself why I had surgery. That's what works for me but some people have to snack so you'll have to figure out what works for you.

With the weight thing- I weigh myself weekly and it tends to go something like .4 lbs then .7 lbs then .3 lbs then 5.5 lbs so the half a pound this week isn't bad. And congrats on the weight you have lost!

Valerie

I am in the same boat; and I very much understand. The world revolves around food and drink. Its hard. I can expect to be invited to no less than 4-5 social occasions (lunch, happy hour, dinner, dancing, drinks, you name it....) per week. This has been the first week since surgery I have opted to do anything and its difficult. Here is my plan:

My NUT says three meals no snacks. This does NOT fit my lifestyle, and I am not going to do it - I could not have done it prior to surgery either. So I have a late protein shake every morning cause I hate anything early, and I go from there. Lunch is usually at two, dinner at six or seven, and then maybe another protein shake when I am relaxing before bed. I am keeping my calories at 600-700; and protein HIGH - 80-100 grams, and liquids 80 ounces when I can get it all in. So then when I go "out" - I do what I want. Obviously I can't eat much; but I have what I can - chicken tortilla soup, the insides of a bean and cheese taco, an iced tea (unsweet) if I am not eating. Last night I had the tops off two chicken fajita nachos - beans, cheese and chicken. I eat carefully and chew thoroughly. Its maybe once or twice a week. I don't intend to derail myself with bad habits or do anything I am not supposed to eat on my 'plan.' three more weeks and pretty much anything goes in small quantities except white carbs, high fat, high sugar, steak, alcohol, and salad, and I can try those at 10-12 weeks if I desire. Alcohol I will wait; because it was a problem before. Not in the alcoholic kind of sense, but in the sense that I love calorie dense drinks (margaritas, etc) and they go down way easy; and I could have easily consumed 1200 calories in margaritas or drinks in a couple of hours prior to surgery. NOT going there again.

Its a huge change for all of us. You are altering what you've been doing your whole life and you are giving up your drug of choice - food.

Thanks everyone.  I feel I have to make this work in a way the fits my lifestyle too.  I confess I am not supposed to have anything but pureed/mush, but I tolerated things so well I added softs.  (although the hot wing dip and sloppy jos would have fit on my plan)  My healing has been incredible as has my ability to tolerate things.  I have not pushed sweets and don't plan on testing the waters - just not worth it. 

Tonight we are ordering from a local pizza shop.  I ordered a ham and cheese wedgie and plan on eating only the 3-4oz of protein out of it that I am permitted.  (and perhaps a small bite of the crust)   Today so far I have had 2 oz tuna with slice of 2% cheese and little mayo, 2oz of LF meatloaf, 2T of babyfood sweet potatoes and 32 oz. of decaf tea with powdered ff milk.  (enough to equal a cup of milk) 

I will have 2 more cups of tea minus the amount of powdered milk before going to bed tonight.

I unfortunately do get a hungry feeling but have done well at not satisfying it.  I drink to make sure that is not it - but it's not.  Ugh - maybe that's all part of being a good healer.