Doesn't seem so real....

So before surgery I weighed 330lbs. and 5 days before surgery I started drinking liquids, having popsicles,pudding,broth, and crystal lite, etc.... I lost 10lbs in those 5 days so I could make sure my liver was shrunk. The doctor didnt tell me I had to but I figured why not shrink it anyways and lose some weight before I started my journey to get a head start! 

Well March 8th I went in for my pre-op appointments and that day they took my weight and I weighed in at 320lbs. So they said that was my starting weight. Ok thats fine whatever and then surgery comes and the day after surgery I asked the nurse if I could use the scale and she said sure go ahead. I stepped on that scale and it said 324lbs! I was absolutely confused how in 1 day I had 4 lbs added onto me? I figured my body was probably holding in all the fluids being pumped into me like the saline and stuff anyways totally depressing.... So I go home two days after surgery and of course I didn't want to weigh in till my first check up. And I went in on Tuesday the 15th of March and they said I couldnt have my drain removed yet and I weighed in at 317lbs. Ok so in 4 days I lost 3lbs? Cause at the hospital the nurse said they go by the weight before surgery not the one I stepped on the scale in the hospital? I was like ok so in my eyes I was 324lbs a day after surgery but yet their still going by the 320lbs not the 324lbs. So I am thinking cool im 7lbs down and then she says 3lbs in 4 days. I was like ok. So then my next appointment comes and that was on March 22nd which was another Tuesday and I weighed in at 310lbs! So I in the back of my head am like yes 14lbs down! Nope once again I get you dropped 7lbs in 11 days. Ok great got my drain removed, healed quite nicely in fact and he says make an appointment for April 11th which is my 1 month check-up. I am dreading this check-up! Ok cause I am teeter tottering between 297 on the scale and 300. Depending on which scale I step on it goes one or the other. So when I went to the gym to use the treadmill the other day I stepped on that scale and was exactly 300lbs. Ok so yep in one month I will have lost only 20 lbs. Way less than I have expected. And now I am a scale natzi! I want to weigh in daily to see if I am losing or gaining. It just brings back horrible memories when I would teeter totter between 325 and 330lbs. I never left that weight range and here I am weighing in and it isn't going down? So I decided to put the damn scale away and let my body take its course. I have a feeling come monday I will still be the same cause for the past week and a half it hasn't moved. So here I am wondering how is it that I got this surgery and already my body is saying no no more for now? I am on stage 3 high proteins and puree. I measure everything. I look at all labels. Fat free,sugar free, low carb, low fat, low everything. I eat maybe 2 or 3 ounces during my meals. And thats if the smell of my food doesnt make me throw it out first. I hate the smells of food now, i hate the looks of it, I hate everything about what made me be overweight in the first place! Here I am a month out from surgery thinking to myself I don't feel like my surgery was ever done cause I am sitting at a weight I always wanted to be under for who knows how long now. I cried yesterday cause I was so stressed over seeing that number on my scale again. I hate the number 300 and I don't ever want to see that ever again! I want to see numbers that create this wonderful happiness in me. It is like what am I doing wrong? Am I eating the right things? Am I eating too much? Am I drinking too many liquids? Is my body holding onto excess water weight cause im still on my BP meds? I mean its like a pure hell in my head. My scale I got it at walmart when I step on it one way it says I weigh over 300lbs if I step on it with my feet pointed outward  it says I weigh 297 or 300. Its useless! I hate these stupid friggin scales cause you pay $15 dollars for one and their either digital and dont hold up to 300lbs or the ones that do truly dont tell u ur weight! Or am I truly not under 300lbs and I am just plateaued at 300 right now? Ughhh I need to sit and have a long discussion with my surgeon about this cause none of this seems real. I feel like I lost 20lbs of water and thats it. How depressing! I aint overeating. I aint eating crappy foods, I am following the damn green book! What more can they ask for? Ughhh please ease my state of mind and help me figure this out!

Jenny

I used the weight I was on the first day I went to the doctors office for the weight loss surgery consultation as my start weight.
I weigh myself at home once a week on the same day of the week in the morning after I've gone to the bathroom and with no clothes on. It may give you a better perspective if you try this instead of trying to pinpoint an exact number from different scales.
I use a digital scale and stand on it in the same place and do it 3 times to make sure the weight showing up is the same.

Jenny,

I posted a topic on here the 1st or maybe 2nd month...I dont even remember what it was about...all I know is I got tons of this..."Go into the bathroom...Open the window...and throw the damn scale out of it as hard as you can!"  hahaha What their point was is that the scale will drive you crazy.  But you will lose weight..just keep doing what you are doing it will come off.  I didnt do that of course...I would weigh myself 2 or 3 times a day..maybe more. Even when I woke at night. I am not that bad anymore..but I do still weigh myself daily...I cant help myself...its my new obession. After 2 weeks if the scale doesnt move I am starting to think the surgery failed for me...but I take my fears here to OH and get lots of reassurance that it is ok and I am still going to lose. Someone told me that their doctor told them that average of 20+ lbs the 1st month and then 10 lbs month 2-7...then less after that.  Suddenly I realized alot of people putting 8 to 10 lbs a month for weight loss.  I think its just too early to worry too much about it.  If you need to weigh - weigh - but keep in mind that results may vary and that this is a process...But most importantly, its all down scale from here.

~Jennifer

I guess alot of people have been telling me the same that 20+lbs in the first month is good and that their will be weeks that slow down and weeks that pick up. I guess just being a month out and only seeing 20lbs come off was just a reality to me cause I was super excited to do this and now its like I am doing this and am not seeing the huge results others were seeing in their first month. I have my days where I try not to think about it and I think I am gonna be fine I just need to throw my scale away lmao! Waste of $15 but you know its probably best for me!

Jenny

I too look at my weight every day. It is very discourageing to do so, but I geuss I need to step back and look at the bigger picture.

First visit to surgeon - 296

pre-op visit - 289

morning of surgery - 277

one week after surger-269

today - 264.8

I know how you feel hun trust me. It doesn't seem real unless you go to an appointment and they say you lost more weight. I hate the scale I really do!

Instead of using the scale as a measure, take pride in each day you follow your plan for food and water.  Eat plenty of good protein, and drink LOTS of water, as exercise as you can.

Vary your foods to avoid boredom, and think of protein items you can use for snacks, cheese, deli meats, etc.

You already know the scale can make you feel defeated.  It will be more important when you get to maintenance, but now it is just asking for trouble.

good luck!