reunion with old friends - weird feelings

I had a catastrophic breakup about 3 years ago.  Afterwards, I sort of cut ties with several of my friends that I was close to during that time.

I'm feeling better about life especially without the stress from work so I called a friend that lives in Nashville to see if she wanted to have lunch with me today.  We used to be super close but she was starting a relationship when mine was ending and we sort of drifted apart. 

I had always been the fat friend though she NEVER made any mention of my weight.  She was always a little heavy too but not nearly as big as me.  I was totally comfortable with that role, I was the fattest of any of my friends.

I've lost 75lbs since I saw her last.  I think she's gained at least 50 in that time.  I was so uncomfortable.  I felt bad for being there and being smaller than her!  A huge part of her weight gain is health related so totally unavoidable.  I still really felt bad for her.  I love her like a sister, I always have.  I hate to see her unhappy and I really, really hope that seeing me today didn't make HER feel bad.  

The other reunion was with the ex.  It was interesting.  He's in the army and fixing to be stationed on the west coast.  It's been 3 years and it's hard to admit it, but I'm STILL hung up on him - and he's moving across the country.  And he's sending mixed signals.  I haven't moved on from him at all.  I haven't had sex with anybody else or even been on a date since I met him more than 4 years ago.  I feel better about myself, honestly.  I know I look better and all but still, I haven't even crushed on anybody.  Am I being stupid or should I try to reignite this thing? 

I also bought a saddle, saw my surgeon, had blood drawn for labs and taught a class today.  I'm fixing to crash, lol. 

You don't say why he is your ex, but there has to be some reason you aren't together anymore.  I think its normal to gravitate toward something familiar especailly since you are in uncharted territory in your life, losing weight and feeling better about yourself.  I think trying to reignite a realtionship with someone who will be living all the way across the USA is a bad idea unless you are willing to relocate your whole life. The stress of that alone would point me straight toward the fridge! I know it is easy for me to say, but if this is the guy for you, then everything will fall into place. Seems like this is the time in your life where you should concentrate on you and that special someone will come along, 

As far as your friend, do NOT feel bad!  You have taken control of your life and your health. Once she gets her medical issues under control, perhaps she will do the same.  Be proud of your weight loss.  You have done awesome!  In fact, i am jealous that we had our surgeries around the same time and you have 13 lbs on me!

I could not agree more with LBin. 

You should not feel bad about being smaller than your friend.  Be proud of your accomplishments and model good nutritional behavior for her and, who knows, she may follow your lead.   

With regard to the ex.  These things seldom work out, and with him moving across the country, the chances are even slimmer that they will.

I would encourage you to be kind towards him, but maintain your dignity.  If he is really interested in you, make him work hard for you because you're worth it.  Keep in mind, men want what they can't have...

Play hard to get and if he's interested in you beyond the physical, he'll step up and do the work to win your heart. 

I wouldn't feel bad about the friend. Sympathetic, yes, but you are moving forward and people are always in different stages of life...we are rarely on the same ship at the same time, you know?

As for the ex, I'd say it would have to be based on why you broke up in the first place.

This response has nothing to do with your post, but I noticed that you are from Kentucky and I have been visiting your fair state for the last 10 days or so.. we spent some time just across the river from Cincinnati, then about 5 days in Franklin and Bowling Green, and are now back across the river from Cincy for a few days.

What a nice state you have!!  Some of the most friendly and positive people I have ever had the good fortune to encounter.   And it is just a beautiful state.  We are scouting for potential retirement destinations for 4-5 years down the line and KY is definitely in the running.

I even got to met Kenny Perry (pro golfer) when I played at his course.