I think what I feel most independent from is what other people think of my decisions.

I am very vulnerable to others opinions of me and things in my life.  Or at least I used to be.  Oh, I still am to some degree, but more so only to the people *****ally matter in my life.  However, pre-op, I was a mess with worrying what someone might think of *any* decision I made in life.  What made that change for me was the decision process for this surgery.

I decided that there were only a handful of people who mattered enough to be "on my journey" with me enough to tell what I was thinking and feeling in terms of my struggle with obesity and how I thought this surgery could help me.  It was the first time in my adult life where I consciously made the decision to make a decision mostly on my own, without worrying what others would think.

Since surgery, I have had "friends" who are mad at me for not having discussed my decision with them.  It's funny, too, that *those* friends are the ones who do NOT support my decision to have surgery.  In the past, this would have caused me a great deal of turmoil because I don't like people do not like me, or not agree with my decisions, or think I'm wrong, crazy, stupid, whatever.....

But, I just don't feel the emotions of their disappointment anymore, regarding MY decisions.  Especially the one to have this surgery.  I feel great about my decision and I don't feel it necessary to defend myself.  This to me indicates growth in my independence from what others think.

And in the end, I think relying on my own capable decision making abilities is going to help me more than anything else I can think of.

You know...this is one of the best contemplations on "to tell or not to tell" that I've heard so far.

You are right. Not everyone deserves to be on this journey with us. We have to weed out toxic people and toxic thoughts and concentrate on giving ourselves the best chance at health and success.

Congratulations on a great attitude. You inspire me!

Thanks!  You inspire me too!  Your posts are very heart-felt and make me seek deep for the answers...this is what makes me feel good about my decision; being able to reach into those deep recesses and know there is an answer.

Great post! I posted earlier asking how I could commemorate my surgiversary (6/29/11). *LIGHT BULB* I can celebrate my INDEPENDENCE on INDEPENDENCE DAY!

I can cross my legs.

I can ride ALL the coasters, not just the ones I think I will fit in.

I can wear heels to an outting in the park and commute to said park on the Metro... (they were wedges that weren't very high, but I would NOT have done this before!)

I can eat for MONTHS off of one good trip to the grocery store (frozen veggies and meats last me FOREVER and I am becoming a leftover freezing fanatic)

I can sit with someone else on the train/bus/etc and have room!

I can shop wherever.

I can NOT find rings in my size though!!

I can eat properly and recognize when I am not doing so AND correct it!

Ummm? You look sort of awesome. Love the avie!!!!

thanks sis!  ( you are like a big sister in my mind in the "struggle' for me). 

(I must need to clear my cache! I can't see a new avie)

I am free to run in Atlanta's annual Peachtree Road Race with 59,999 of my closest running buddies. This also happens to be the worlds largest 10k. Last year I could barely make it to the end of the block with out getting winded, a total of 5 houses.

My new life had taught me that I am free to do anything and only limited by myself.

This Independence Day I can swim with my kids!! It's a huge step for me and I can not wait!

umm having to think on this a while, I can:
fit size 2 clothes
eat and not worry about blood sugar
cross my legs

Oh..size two...you eluded me...

But then I think I'm too tall to do size two without looking REALLY...strange...

The crossing the legs thing is bigger than folks give it credit for. When I could first do it I did it just BECAUSE I could.